Abandoned
I had nightmares all of last night and needed to get them out of my system
Writing is a good method of purging
I woke upon a still cold night, and shivered in my silent room. Between my tears and quivering, I heard a door click closed afar. The dread inside me came up fast. I gagged to swallow back my spew. My bed, abondoned.
In vain attempts to sleep again, I curled into a ball of flesh. I held my knees against my chest. I prayed for strength to see me through. I heard the door – it clicked again. I was not alone.
Relaxed and lying in my bed. I never did suspect a foe. No longer curled in balls of flesh, he came and dragged me to the floor. And in my hallway split in two, I gave no sense of hate or fear. I let the numbness spoil his game. He hated me.
And when I woke a second time, and shivered still despite the heat, I looked beside me where I laid. Relieved to find some company. And curled into a ball of flesh, and pressed into his warm embrace. I breathed again but most of all. I felt safe.
shall
Wow .. fabulous rhythm and deep scene setting.. love the story, love it all …. Great Work Jo!
Shall xxx
MissKristy
Wow is right….such tension in the writing. Love those last few lines. xox
Paul McClintock
Is that iambic tetrameter or am I a doofus?
Jessica Tremp
lovely writing Jo…glad there was someone there
ozjami
Whoa,heavy writing Jo …..Like a very bad dream ,well written
Jason Moses
Nice purging, Jo.
Iambic tetrameter indeed. I wonder how it would look in lines and stanzas.
Jo O'Brien
Ok, all you people made me look up Iambic tetrameter
It just came out that way by accident. hmm. Interesting
red addiction replied
so what does lambic tetrameter mean?
Daniel Rayfield
:) good one its good you can write them away i used to draw my nightmares and that helped,at least we are all safe now though!
jumpy
excellent stuff… when do we see chapter 2??
Graham Dean
Great writing, has a classic air about it, I enjoyed reading Abandoned several times & will again.
Jen Whyte
Put your fears down on paper and it helps to exorcise them …. brilliant use of words
Leon Walker
I certainly think you should have accomplished what you intended to. Gripping!
Metamorphosis
Incredible writing & imagery Jo! Love the end :)
White Prl
great ending…loved it
anaisnais
Great you captured the eye, drew me in and held me throughout. Just the right length not to start detracting from your detail. Great write.
Robxavier
Wow this is my first comment enjoyed it verry much
Rob
Sally Omar
Fantastic….
Holly Godbee
Well written.
LBstillwaters
Looks like everyone loves you Jo, so I’ll hop on the band wagon and say
” I honestly agree with what everyone else said” & that I don’t know what an Iambic
tetrameter is either?