Saviour Excerpt 006 - A Pain In The Eyes (A Special Request)

Shelise swam over to the rocky ledge under the waterfall, dipping her head back to wet her hair before pulling herself up. She lathered her skin, taking off the layers of sweat and grime that she was sure she had picked up. The force of the falling water stung her body a little as she rinsed, but at the same time it invigorated her, her skin turning pink from the chill water.

It wasn’t until Shelise was soaping her hair that she felt a presence behind her. She tilted her head slightly [DANGER] and turned around, slowly scanning the area around the edge of the trees. Kai was standing stiffly, his hackles raised as he too peered into the bush. Although she couldn’t hear him over the sound of the falls, Shelise knew that his growl would be menacing… his muscles would be tensed and ready to pounce.

Then she saw him at the edge of the trees… half hidden from view as he stood watching her shower. She couldn’t help the slight smile that touched her lips as she watched his deep blue eyes roam over her naked body. She stood and stared silently for a moment, unable to stop herself from feeling pleased to see him again.

Hello Ben, she sent to him, making no move to cover herself.

Hello Saviour, he replied, knowing that it would annoy her. His face lit up in a dazzling smile. Nice to see you again. Shelise felt the double meaning in his words, and she wasn’t sure that she liked it.

How long have you been standing there? she asked sweetly.

Not long enough, Ben smiled. The suggestion in his eyes began to make her feel uncomfortable… and she didn’t like the way her body flushed at his words. All of a sudden Shelise began to resent him for his unannounced intrusion. And why did he hide his mind from me? He must have, after all. He’s very strong… if he hadn’t hidden himself she would have felt him long before he reached them. Was he spying on her?

Didn’t your mother ever tell you that it’s rude to sneak up on a woman when she’s in the shower? Shelise asked. Ben smiled cockily at her, appearing not to have picked up on the change in her demeanour.

Sure, Ben replied, that maddening smile mocking her. But I could be doing worse things…

Shelise only lifted one eyebrow… barely perceivably. She wanted revenge for that comment. She sent a bolt of pain to his eyes as a punishment for embarrassing her. His hands flew upwards, pulling the glasses from his face as he tried to wipe the pain away. It was mean, she knew, but his discomfort gave Shelise a moment of satisfaction… and she took that moment to enjoy it.

“Aaah…” Ben cried out loud. “Shelise, stop it. That’s not fair!” But it worked. Ben finally took the hint and turned around so that his back was to her, his hands still rubbing at his eyes in vain. “Ok, ok… I’m not looking,” he cried out. “You can stop now… please…?” Pretty please? Shelise smiled a little but her eyes were still glinting angry sparks. She ‘squeezed’ a little and Ben cried out again… then she stopped sending the pain.

She could see his body relax immediately, but he stood rooted to the spot and Shelise could feel that he would not turn around until she told him. She dove into the water, swimming under for a while to rinse the soap from her hair. She climbed up onto the bank and walked to her clothes.

“That wasn’t very nice,” Ben said as she pushed her feet into her underpants. She could hear a mixture of sulking, and some humour, in his voice.

“Serves you right,” Shelise bantered, grabbing up her jeans. “It’s not very nice to spy on naked women, either.”

“You could have damaged my eyes,” he complained “… you didn’t, did you?”

Don’t be such a sook. Shelise sent. It wasn’t real pain you felt, just the memory of pain. There’s a difference. There’s nothing wrong with your eyes.

“I thought you said that you don’t use your mind for your own benefit,” he teased. Shelise could see that smile in her mind… he was enjoying this, regardless of the threat of more pain. “Can I turn around now?”

“No you can’t!” Shelise said, maybe just a little too quickly. She reddened again when she realised that he’d had no intention… that he was just teasing her. She buttoned her jeans and pulled her T-shirt over her head. It clung to her wet body in places, but she felt much more comfortable now that she was dressed.

Shelise took a moment to really look at Ben. His hair was a little longer, his skin a little more tanned… his shoulders just as broad and straight. She noticed that he was wearing a loose white silk shirt… not the best for horse-riding, she thought. Her eyes roamed down and she took in the tight curve of his jeans, the shape of his thigh… before she caught herself.

“You can turn around now,” she said from behind his ear. Ben started slightly and turned slowly, grimacing as though he half-expected her to hit him with the pain again. He hadn’t replaced his glasses, and as Shelise looked up into his eyes she found that she was glad… they were so clear. She allowed her eyes to roam his face for a couple of seconds, then she gave into temptation and hugged him.

“So… you have missed me,” he joked softly, snaking his arms up around her shoulders. Shelise smiled warmly, her cheek next to his. She wished so much that she hadn’t missed him… but… damn it!… she had. She couldn’t help it.

“Oh, immensely," she replied… hoping the sarcasm was thick enough.

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Saviour Excerpt 006 - A Pain In The Eyes (A Special Request) by 

A short excerpt from a novel I’ve been working on, called Saviour. I’m never sure which genre this fits into… it could be fantasy, science fiction, action, perhaps even horror. And it most definitely rings with very strong ‘girl-power’ themes.

A special request from one of my fam… er… fans ;o)

More Saviour excerpts…
The Gang in the Desert
Lucky, Charlie, Kai
Cat, Faith, Luca
A Pain In The Eyes


excerpt, novel, saviour


  • Michael McCasland
    Michael McCaslandabout 4 years ago

    So do you have a blog or a book your writing is going into? You need to! Well written.

  • Well Michael… I’m thinking about it. I’ll admit, this particular piece of work is probably about the only one that I really WOULD like to see published. Shelise and her animals have lived in my head for as long as I can remember… perhaps she’s the part of me that I sometimes wish I could be… if that makes sense. I started writing in an attempt to exorcise her, I think… but then I found that I was writing simply to find out where she was going… I don’t even know where some of the stuff came from. :o) I love this story so much because Shelise has finally got a life that other people can see… and the fact that certain others love her as much as me makes me feel good too.
    By the time I’m finished the story, the novel should be quite long… I’d like to aim at a minimum of 500 pages, preferably between 750 and 1000… more if possible. Of course, every writer dreams of a brilliant trilogy, and of course I would too… I’d already have enough for the first novel… and half of the second. Who knows? I never will if I don’t try. ;o)
    Yes, I will approach a publisher one day… perhaps reasonably soon. I’ll admit… making a bit of pocket money from the novel would be awesome, and that’s why I’ve started compiling these excerpts… I will need this kind of thing with my submission, so if you (or anyone else) have questions or suggestions on parts of the storyline, or character analyses, excerpts that aren’t so great, or irrelevant to the story, etc… please feel free to tell me. It can only help me when deciding what to include with my submission.
    But even if I can’t find a publishing house who’s interested in Saviour, I think I will publish it in a blog somewhere. As I said, I just want Shelise to have her life… I honestly think that I’d be more upset at the end of MY life if she hadn’t been freed from my brain, than I would if I made no money out of her.
    Thanks Michael… I’m glad you’re getting enjoyment from this. :o)

    – PhoenixArt

  • FlaminFledgling
    FlaminFledglingabout 4 years ago

    Easy to see how someone may request this!!! It’s awesome!!!

  • Well, I like to listen to this particular fan… she’s pretty clever and knows the story almost as well as me. I asked her to be a proof-reader right from the start, because I suspected that she would enjoy it… and because I knew that she would be honest and tell me if it sucked. If the truth be known, she’s probably the real reason that so much of Shelise has been squeezed from my head. Her support and encouragement has been invaluable… I may have given up long ago if she hadn’t. :o)
    Thanks baby. :o*

    – PhoenixArt

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