No, I’m not ok… I’m sad… I’m confused… I’m overcome… beaten.
I want to scream and shout…. to jump up and down and punch walls.
I want to cry big, full tears… freely and honestly.
Big, body-shaking sobs that might refresh me…
But I doubt it…
I want something else… somewhere else… some time else.
Anything but this… it’s always there.
And always… I wish it would stop.
I want someone to look at me… I want someone to notice…
Things are not going to plan.
I’m holding onto a ghost… and it’s fading fast.
Why me? Why us? Where did I go wrong?
Why is it my fault? What did I do?
How on earth can I fix this?
I don’t want to do this any more.
I never wanted to fight.
No… things are not all right with the world!
Some things are very, very bad.
Dark words and darker feelings…
Everyday Women group – 3 Sep 2010