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What... why...

No, I’m not ok… I’m sad… I’m confused… I’m overcome… beaten.
I want to scream and shout…. to jump up and down and punch walls.
I want to cry big, full tears… freely and honestly.
Big, body-shaking sobs that might refresh me…
But I doubt it…

I want something else… somewhere else… some time else.
Anything but this… it’s always there.
And always… I wish it would stop.

I want someone to look at me… I want someone to notice…
Things are not going to plan.
Things suck!
I’m holding onto a ghost… and it’s fading fast.

Why me? Why us? Where did I go wrong?
Why is it my fault? What did I do?
How on earth can I fix this?

I don’t want to do this any more.
I never wanted to fight.
I’m tired.

No… things are not all right with the world!
Some things are very, very bad.

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Dark words and darker feelings…

Featured in
Everyday Women group – 3 Sep 2010



alt, black, dark, sad, tears, thoughts


  • twistyman
    twistymanalmost 4 years ago

    The road of life is just one of the tests that we must travel….
    when things seem bad at times they are just another step to proving ones strength and fortitude… yet at times with a heavy heart we come up short…

    this is not a result of you or your purpose ..its just at times life most certainly does seen stacked against us….

    I think I know partially what has caused you such feeling of dread but be assured phoenix my dear friend…I like most here I’d hazard do see and appreciate you for you…no need to second guess yourself, and please never forget the support we friends of yours and the old man are here to help you up and further your journey…

    just peek behind and I’ll always try to be near…..

    keep us in your thoughts and you truly won’t be alone…

    Love Bob.

  • With friends like you Twisty, I know we’ll never be alone. Rest assured my friend, you and the others who have shown me so much love and support will never be forgotten. You know that G is my rock and greatest support, and I’m in good hands with him. I know I haven’t really lost (morally, that is) and I will get over this. Sometimes it’s just not fair though, you know?…
    Thanks Bob. Big hugs and huge kisses… and much love. :o*

    – PhoenixArt

  • twistyman
    twistymanalmost 4 years ago

    Sorry if I placed in wrong spot dear,..but damn.. I’m having trouble posting with some of gryphs sites and wanted you to know just how I love you guys…

    I got a cool mold in wood pile pic I got from weezer and will post ….I wont invite outsiders until they are just pics or story folk to fit in… but he does get some great pics being way up north in Canada..

  • ;o*
    Make sure you mention in the description if the pic isn’t yours. And you can use the pics as an illustration for some writing if you like. ;o) I’ll point you towards a group of people who really would get a kick out of the mold shots if you like… as many as you could give them. :o)

    – PhoenixArt

  • Geraldine (Gezza) Maddrell
    Geraldine (Gez...almost 4 years ago
  • Wow, thanks so much ladies. I wasn’t expecting this one. Thank you :o)

    – PhoenixArt

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