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On a Positive Note

I do it so I know what it feels like to be alive. When I’m under the influence, it’s as if the veil of the world has been lifted; only then can I appreciate the beauty that has so carefully been hidden away from me. Some of my best memories are from nights spent wondering the streets of New York City while under the colorful waves of LSD, or succumb to the intense emotions of ecstasy. I wouldn’t trade those experiences for anything.

So what’s your drug of choice? Any preference, why?

I love them all––it’s hard for me to choose just one. From marijuana to opium—all are great for different reasons; each of them have given me unique experiences. I’ve found that, unlike most people in the world, I have many different perspectives from which to base my beliefs on. When smoking marijuana I can feel my mind being opened to consider all the questions of the world. I’m the world’s best philosopher. I have thoughts that have never occurred to me before and I love to meditate on the meaning of life. Ever wonder if turtles have eyebrows? Yeah, those kinda thoughts—stuff you never stop and think about. Marijuana slows down this fast-pace world and gives you time to take in all its wonders.

Describe one of your best times under the influence—what was it like for you?

My favorite and most memorable trip will always be on Opium. I first smoked opium a few days after my girlfriend Mia died in an awful car accident. After she died I felt so alone—she was my life, we were gonna get married, get a place, maybe have kids, that whole thing. My depression got so bad I stopped going to work and talking to friends; I just wanted to escape it all—pretend it wasn’t real. That’s when took my first hit of opium. Soon after I saw Mia; she walked into the room dressed in her favorite jeans and Star Wars t-shirt. She wrapped her arms around me tightly and planted a kiss on my cheek. She started to laugh and said “I bet you really missed me Justin! I’ve missed you; I’ll never go away for that long ever again!”
Immediately I clung to her hoping to never let go. I scanned every tattoo on her arms, her big bright smile, her beautiful brown eyes, her long black hair—I wanted to live in that moment forever.
“I’ve missed you so much Mia, please don’t ever leave me again,” I pleaded with her.
“You’re so silly Justin, I’m not going anywhere!” she giggled.
After a few minutes of talking to her, she started to become blurry and faded; I realized I couldn’t hear her voice anymore. And in a sudden blink of my eyes, she was gone from me. Opium allowed me to see Mia one more time, and I am thankful I have this memory of her with me now. Opium made it so that I became unable to distinguish fantasy from reality, which was the view of life I favored at the moment. It’s because of drugs like opium that I could finally have closure to losing the love of my life so suddenly.

On a Positive Note

Sara Razack

Tampa, United States

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  • Sara Razack
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