Hard Wired

Am I now too lazy to wrestle with rhyme?
Stealing stock standards: Rosemary and Thyme.
Clamped in the Stocks; rotten fruit, filth, and rocks …
Punished for being, or fleeing: Electric Shocks!
They kept me in prison, fried parts of my brain.
Electrons haphazard; Good gone – Bad remain.
Insanity now worn on placards with pride,
Pretending I’m all better now, not rotten inside.
Lithium, Librium, Largactyl – ZOMBIE!
I fooled them for then, but now they still want me.
More months of Bedlam surrounded by others the same
I cannot be cured; I’m a number, a name.
Once in the system they won’t let you go
I talk much too freely, I tell what I know.
But who’s there to listen, or believe what they hear?
He’s raving, he’s paranoid; Somebody to fear.
A loser, an outcast, a march hare …
From an Institution, so approach with care …
If You Dare, If You Dare, If You Dare.
I’ve left the big cities and tried to live freely,
No one to harm but myself, but
Technology follows me
And they know where to find me: To
Pull me back to the System
To bind me
Never let go, Never be free
I’m too much a danger to others, to me.
More ECT !
More drugs to enfeeble me?
More therapy from kids with a shiny degree?
Thank you, but NO I say, I’ll be OK …
They smile in amusement, ‘cause I’m loopy anyway.
Get out of your house and rejoin society:
There’s new drugs, new treatments, and groups you can join
Learn to act with propriety.
Dribble and drool with others
You’ll have picnics, and sing-songs, and have fun with clay
You can’t help what you’re like – You’re HARD WIRED that way
And besides that the System has you flagged!
You’re on the books,
So we can make you, y’know
We do have the power ………………

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Maybe I really am paranoid! Once you have been in the clutches of the mental health system, they still have enormous powers, even though mental health has taken a back seat, and care facilities have closed all over the country; all over the world. Seems the new answer is to put patients back into Society as soon as possible. Governments make big noises, and even have a few websites, but as the problems increase the treatment is useless. OK, I am paranoid. Even when you take yourself out of the system it never lets you go.
This writing is about the painting of the same name.
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Tags

health, mental, system, disability

Comments

  • Marion Chapman
    Marion Chapmanover 5 years ago

    they may have some power but never over your brain and your creative juices. Brilliant poem Pete! And you have rejoined society, this society online – what could be better.
    As always with your work,i have learned a little more about you and by god, you have been through a lot! Never let them bind you completely.

  • Dear Marion I have indeed rejoined society in my way. RB is a definite haven. I always content myself with stories of others, and how lucky I’ve been. Don’t think it will ever come to the stage where I take that last long walk into the bush. I whinge a lot, don’t I.

    – Peter Searle ( the Elder )

  • Kirrill D'Kainn
    Kirrill D'Kainnover 5 years ago

    … ab ovo – ad aperturam ad astra per aspera … !

    Kirrill D’Kainn.

  • Peter Searle ( the Elder )
    Peter Searle (...over 5 years ago

    EGO have haud informatio quis vos vilis ut EGO operor non narro Latin

  • Elizium
    Eliziumover 5 years ago

    Powerful words my friend…to express oneself so artistically is the true sign of sanity…
    Your furtive mind nevers fails to inspire…Thankyou Peter!!

    Elizium x

  • Thank you my friend. Given a choice now I’m not sure if I’d choose sanity. Often when I’m at my blubbering worst I seem to produce some of my best. On the other hand I don’t like being ‘in the System’, and I actually fear some of the young do-gooders who think a few years of University gives them all the answers. My head is over-populated as it is, and I don’t want strangers in there.
    Truly appreciate your comments
    Peter

    – Peter Searle ( the Elder )

  • evon ski
    evon skiover 5 years ago

    Powerful piece. Hard not to be paranoid- a little paranoia around doctors is wise as far as I’m concerned. My ability to bear my own suffering is contingent on my expression of it- my RX for mental health. Thanks for sharing.

  • Too true Yvonca. Love your line ‘My ability to bear my own suffering is contingent on my expression of it’. Thank you
    Peter

    – Peter Searle ( the Elder )

  • Brenda G
    Brenda Gover 5 years ago

    Peter, your writing touches me deeply, in my soul. My eyes fill with tears – you have been through a lot. You inspire me.

  • Thanks Brenda. I’ve been through a few episodes which have made me very wary, but I’ve survived, and now I just keep my own counsel, and avoid anybody who has the power to screw further with my head and my freedom.

    – Peter Searle ( the Elder )

  • theimperfektman
    theimperfektmanover 5 years ago

    damn well done, man.

  • Peter Searle ( the Elder )
    Peter Searle (...over 5 years ago

    Thanks Josh, that is truly praise from a writer of your calibre
    Peter

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