If you’re a Host like me, you’ll know what I mean when I say the long-standing tick-the-box reasons for rejecting submitted artwork have always been a bit limited, to say the least!
Fortunately, the powers that be at RB have listened, and the recent underhaul of the whole website included greatly increasing the options for Hosts when rejecting work.
Here are the new additional reasons we can give for rejecting artwork, in case you haven’t been able to find them yet:
- We have reason to believe you have joined this Group for the sole purpose of submitting one artwork for a Challenge we are running, after which you will leave the Group and walk away from us. Well tough, it ain’t gunna happen!
- Since you obviously couldn’t be bothered reading the Rules before agreeing to them, we can’t be bothered telling you why your work has been REJECTED. Now we’re even.
- Just a heads up for future reference: we called this group the Benches Group because we want to showcase artwork depicting, … um, …. BENCHES. Regardless of how many people may have sat on your face, we do not accept SELF-PORTRAITS, ok!!
- You have 1,675 images in your portfolio and all of them are of you. We suspect you are holding the camera the wrong way around. Please get out more before submitting another image to this Group.
- We know your wonderful artwork meets all the criteria for acceptance into the Group, we just think it’s …. well …. crap. Really.
- No no no no no, NO! Just WHAT the hell were you thinking? Were you thinking at all??
- Enough with the roadkill, ok!
- Despite your (alleged) best intentions, “OOF” is not an acronym for ABSTRACT. It simply means you failed to achieve a focused image, and neither is an abstract a derivative of failure. And whilst we’re at it, an upside-down flower is still just a flower, godammit, OOF or not!
- We can see from the Description of your image that you really really really loved Fluffles. But you need to face reality. Fluffles is dead. He was hit and squashed flat by a semi-trailer 7 years ago, and having what was left of him stuffed no longer qualifies him as a PET, regardless of the professional job done on him. We suggest you go down to the Pet Store and buy Fluffles II before submitting any more images to the PET Group.
- At the time of submitting this image to the Group, you may have held the understanding it met all the criteria for acceptance. That may or may not be true, but the fact remains we changed the Rules as soon as we saw your image because we just don’t like it and we don’t want to see it in the Group. So there.
- Oh, so YOU want us to change OUR Rules just so YOU can submit artwork to the Group. Yeh, sure! Why not?! In fact, let’s not be elitist, why don’t we just allow ANYTHING to be submitted? Would that suit YOU better?
- You take a very good nude self-portrait. Awesome even. But just because you are old and have a lot of saggy bits doesn’t qualify the image for entry to the Rusty, Crusty and Falling to Bits Group, sorry!
- C’mon, you can tell us – you didn’t really use a 5D Mark II to take this shot did you? The date stamp was a bit of a giveaway, to be honest.
- Awesome photograph! Stunning even. It’s just a pity we don’t believe you took it.
- You say you took this photograph whilst hanging out a 50th floor window upside down with no pants on while your ferret nibbled your …. toes? Bullshit! Ferrets don’t nibble.
- We congratulate you on your amazing effort in getting kittens, puppies, jetties, train-tracks, bridges, and vignetting in your wonderful SC HDR work of art. Alas, we still REMOVED it from the NO f’ing kittens, puppies, jetties, train-tracks, bridges, vignettes, selective colouring or HDR Challenge as it appears you can’t read.
- Aren’t you the Host who rejected my application to join the Elite Photographer Group? Well hey, revenge is a dish best served cold, buddy. Your image has been REJECTED. By the way, we’re also removing you from the Group (he he he!)
For resubmitted artwork, the following rejection (again) reasons are also now available:
- Exactly what part of “No no no no no, NO!” did you not understand?
- How could you possibly think that resubmitting this rubbish using a different log-in name would succeed?
- Yeh, we remember you! Tough cookies, fella!
- This is better, you’ve straightened the horizon, removed the hot pixels, and cropped the bunny out. Well done, we appreciate it. But again, we feel the need to remind you that we do not accept colour images in this Black & White Group.
- Sorry, you’re too late, the Group is now FULL.
[EDIT: Contributions from Byron, Rosalie, Vikram, Debra Lee, Dana and Jan all cracked me up with their comments below, so I added them to the above list. Thanks guys! I seem to have hit a communal nerve!]