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What Dionysus Said to Apollo

Dionysus was walking through a forest just outside of Mount Olympus, when he came across a chimpanzee. Of course having never been to Africa, he had never seen a chimp and so he thought it was a creature from another world. He quickly grabbed a large, flat stone from the ground and bashed the creature’s head. With a smile on his face and a hop in his step, he dragged the unconscious primate to his half-brother Apollo on Mount Olympus.

“Brother! Come quick! I’ve discovered an alien. You see? It resembles a mortal man, but it isn’t. It’s from another world!” exclaimed Dionysus.
“Brother, you say that this creature is extra-terrestrial because it resembles man but isn’t. Your logic is flawed. You assume that an alien must resemble man,” Apollo rebuked.
“I don’t need your logic. I can feel that this is an alien. I know it to be true because of my faith. I feel too strongly to be wrong,” cried Dionysus as he shook his fist.
“That’s asinine. You only assume it’s an alien because all you can do is extrapolate current knowledge to explain the unknown. Furthermore, that poor creature whom you knocked out is a chimpanzee, an animal from Africa. Although, I can see how it can be mistaken for a man, its eyes are so human. Look! It’s stirring!”…
Oh! My head! What happened? Dionysus, you asshole! Why would he hit me? Oh, that’s right. I’m in animal form. Damn! That milk maid probably left. She was cute too. Dick! Oh Shit! Apollo! What’s he doing here? I can’t let him know it’s me. I didn’t take joy in killing his son. But it was my will. Who’s to argue with that? Ungrateful shit. I need to get out of here. Maybe later I can talk to the generals new wife. Ow!…
Dionysus began to poke his disguised father and Apollo got him on his feet. Apollo attempted to explain and apologize but gave up. Before the chimp left, he hugged Apollo and shed a tear. Strange, thought Apollo, I don’t even know that creature.

What Dionysus Said to Apollo


Joined October 2009

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Artist's Description

Dionysus finds what he thinks is an alien and wants to convince his logical brother, Apollo. Inspired by Lewis Carroll, Douglas Hofstadter, Nietzsche, and Rush.

Artwork Comments

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