I struggle with being a wholly 'inadequate adult!'

I struggle thinking how on earth am I going to cope with my just not being able to live in reality.

I seem to be such a born total dreamer, instead.

I fear not being practical enough will, eventually, lead to my total downfall.

Some people are born to remain children right thoughout all of their entire lives; like they were just never really meant for the adult world.

In fantasy, I LIVE…
;-)

But, in reality, I DIE!
:<

I struggle with being a wholly 'inadequate adult!' by 


My struggle between living in both reality/fantasy worlds; and, I often wonder to myself which one of these two totally separate worlds is, ultimately, going to WIN…?!

Maybe, that’s why some artists go MAD; much preferring to ‘chase after their dreams’; rather than learn to ever cope with ‘living in reality’; or, is it the PAIN of ‘living in reality’ that does, eventually, drive one INSANE?!

NAME: Paul Ramnora
AGE: 51
LOCATION: UK/London (born/brought up/living)
INTERESTS: General Art(s), General Computing/Programming, General Education/-etc.
LEARNING DISABLITIES: ADD/Attention Deficit Disorder, AS/Aspergers Syndrome
NOTE: I’m mostly a self-taught artist. I like all arts: drawing/painting/sculpting/origami/writing/-etc.

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Comments

  • Ulrikeart
    Ulrikeartover 3 years ago

    Fantasy is reality, a fantastic reality ….Be happy !!!

  • Thanks very much for your comment! ;-)

    Being biPolar my happiness both comes and goes…

    – paulramnora

  • Redviolin
    Redviolinover 3 years ago

    Your musings are very thought provoking.

    I think the trick is to learn to make the most of both…dont see it as a competition for one to win over the other…USE BOTH as needs be…to find your ultimate bliss..they ARE of equal value.
    Much love to you….and another trick…is to find balance by reaching out to friends.

  • Your thoughts are very much appreciated; and, I can see you are a very intelligent and wise person, indeed. Yes, I agree with you. ;-)

    The only trouble with being ‘balanced’ is, sometimes, I find it to be totally boring. It’s a hell of a lot more exciting ‘living on the edge’; but, only in so far as you take care ‘not to go fall off that edge…!’ There is a point where too much excitement becomes a total downer, instead/as, you end up having a nervous breakdown due to feeling far too much stress. Only when I go off the edge/or, wonder too near to the edge; do I come to fully appreciate what it was to feel ‘balance’, again. So, my personality tends to wonder both back and forth.

    – paulramnora

  • Norma-jean Morrison
    Norma-jean Mor...over 3 years ago

    we all go through this my friend, all love Normaje

  • Yes, I guess, that’s true. ;-) There are few of us who do have absolutely nil imagination; and, consequently, do always live life for ‘real’. Kids read comics/adults read novels/most people watch TV. Fantasy/reality, these are both a necessary part of life; thus, we most probably need both. Otherwise, we’d all still be living lives of cavemen/cavewomen; it takes a certain amount of imagination to be able to both invent/and, ‘change’ stuff. They say that one of the main differences between us human beings/and, animals/insects is our abilty to be able to imagine/dream; that’s why animals/insects hardly ever change; but, instead, remain exactly the same even after existing on this planet for hundreds/and, thousands of years. On the other hand, imagination can work both in our favour/and, also, against us; depending on whether we chose to imagine either good/or, bad things. Reality, helps, as well; meaning, we can’t just merely sit back and idly dream; we also need to be practicial enough to get up and do it; in order to make our dreams become real.

    – paulramnora

  • Redviolin
    Redviolinover 3 years ago

    I DO understand…..perhaps thats where …friends come in..to lend a helping hand…AND a walk in the country…lol..

  • I spend my whole entire life trying to understand myself NOT! ;-)

    – paulramnora

  • Donna19
    Donna19over 3 years ago

    Your reality is what you make it Paul. We all have different ones. In this I wonder if your use of reality is a generalization of how you see people living. Theirs is not your reality. Your fantasy IS your reality and that is good. Live in that and enjoy that because it is what everyone else does in their lives. I really like this write. You nailed “what is reality”

  • Thanks very much for your nice comment. ;-)

    What is reality? Sure as hell, beats me…

    I mean, it’s a lot like saying what is ‘normal’…???!!! As everybody seems to have a different reality/a different’ sense of exactly what is ‘normal’…

    To me, life is just most confusingly complex?!

    – paulramnora

  • Azellah
    Azellahover 3 years ago

    This writing explains the look on your face in your avatar to me…pain and dreams all wrapped up in one…above all, accept yourself, you are wonderful :)

  • Thanks for your well observed comment. ;-) Yes, I think, your right. I must say, I’ve always found it extremely hard having to accept myself as I am; I mean, I always want more; therefore, I’m always left feeling deeply unsatisfied.

    – paulramnora

  • TrishMita
    TrishMitaover 3 years ago

    Oh Dearest friend,
    Life just is ……… Your here for a short time ….No matter how you live it. never conform to what should be ….
    Just be ……. just be…… Trust yourself!…….believe me I know ….. I am living it my way!
    for the first time …… hugs dear friend, trust yourself ….. and just live it :)X

  • Comment much appreciated, thanks! ;-) For me, life is far too complex/and, utterly unpredictable to be able to totally figure it all out; you should live it this way/or, that; at the end of the day, I just tend to go along with the flow; meaning, sometimes, I try to conform/and, other times not.

    In the ultimate analysis, however; I think, one really can’t help but being true to oneself…whatever the hell that means?! Maybe, I mean, we all have to move at a pace that suits us; today, we might go slow/tomorrow, faster, who knows…all depending on how we are feeling at the time.

    – paulramnora

  • JohnDSmith
    JohnDSmithabout 3 years ago

    I think the mind of a Artist is full of wonder,and what if,…..always wanting to look around,… to what`s on the other side,….
    Some to think about it,……That`s the way a child is too,….
    Love what you wrote here,…it says a lot,..with just a few words,…

  • Thanks for your appreciative comment! ;-) In my own hard won experience, I must say, that I’ve discovered that having too much ‘imagination’ can work in either of two ways…either for you, in which case it’s a really wonderful thing to have, imagining the best/and, other times, it works against you, when you, actually, end up imagining the worst.

    – paulramnora

  • JohnDSmith
    JohnDSmithabout 3 years ago

    Love your reply to my comment,…That`s so very true,…..I try to think positive,….but,..sometimes I lean the other side too,….
    I believe the child in me leans most of the time to the positive side though,…

  • Yes, I agree, we need to think positive just in order to stay alive. For me, there has to be hope somewhere; otherwise, I’d simply wish to give up/quit! Like when everything is going badly; and, I feel ‘reality, is crushing my dreams’; then, I always turn towards ‘hope’ that one day things will, eventually, get better. ;-) But, if there were no hope left in me…; then, honestly, I really don’t know exactly what I would do next…?!

    – paulramnora

  • Albert
    Albertabout 3 years ago

    In reality you are a great person. I like you very much. There will never be anyone to replace you.

  • Thanks, Albert! ;-) Same here as to my thoughts in regards to you, as well. I think, we both tend to think alike on many subjects; which are of considerable importance/as well as, in regards to lesser subjects, too. We both like Apple stuff/and, drawing/painting on the computer. LOL

    – paulramnora

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