Her Heart Where I Dream (She comes To me She Let's Me See); pastels by pauldrobertson

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Her Heart Where I Dream (She comes To me She Let's Me See); pastels by 

Pastels 300gsm cartridge paper, home-primed with some weird ‘art spectrum’ stuff.
I have lost her. I wrote this as I hoped and hoped again that there was more for us.
Ah, well. Ah… fuck.

Ah the colour pours into my wounds and… and;

I cannot find my breath my words are drowned in the thunder of my body’s storming bloody rush. And to -
as she sleeps; the sweep of her neck
Yet the wild call of her body and its delicate, visceral power are where the completion of a new living life as I have never known but, oh the wild life and the grace she wears the least of her
She is raging will and scalding lips
gentleness the blood-knotted heart,
So close to mine so close and alive as to frighten me.
Such a fury of pride noble beyond conception an idyll of fire an agony of ardour a desire such DESIRE (a never-seen incandescence to match my own)
Her lips Sweetened honey, her mind steel milked from the most sinuous and sensuous of venoms. Mistress to the most lethal of lives raised to kill to survive. Wealth bestowed upon her she will take nothing she would she would she fucking would rather die/ She knows and describes the riches

They are made from
Stolen lives.
… she is a soul a life flaring against the deadly places she walked as a child. Raised to fight her scarred hands intimately familiar with every weapon of our time. Born into freezing endless crime. Her gentle eyes have born witness to horrors horror yet she knows war she walks pure and proud unafraid
amidst dealers of death
murderers torturers killers atrocity as familiar as their bloodied hands before them. Men born with gaping hunger holes starving for blood where each heart should reside – born shorn sheer of conscience with war war war!
She is the most noble creature I have ever known.
Her body more scar than skin (so soft so alive so soft and mine)
Grace hums against her limbs warm alive (so soft! her skin her skin! Her scars! Her skin!!)
movements svelte and boiling with latency; it is forever abeyant, utterly implicit in her, in all that she is. Coiled in her is a fell warrior. Such strength, feline yet shivered and silvered with
a terrible knowledge.
Raised from a tiny child to kill to survive.
she could use this inferno, the frenzied oceans, the tempest worlds of will so thick in her chest
I offer my hands my works my eyes I beg her believe me believe believe! Share with me my life!

Before she flooded my heart and writ hope across sorrow; before she breathed rapture and tore hope open like this like THIS I did not know I had never begun to see…through my curse and endless pain she takes my hand she stands as I rise.
She is hope. It is her wild nobility she… helps me to see.
As the years burn before me.
I need not… I can endure and live yet. She shows me shards of her lives and I will not I will NOT I will NOT CHOOSE TO DIE.
The foolishness of my mad mad mad mind this obscene failing rhyme a fucking RHYME reaching for the depth of grace in her gentle her knowing the perfection of her eyes.
She is without equal. Without precedent. She is craving, She is lust, she is

I need her to know. She must know.
Only. And forever. If she will hold my hand. If we can breathe life into the wounds that we wear carved from pain shaped from bloody bone our own torn flesh still stunned we are alive.
My love, my love… Wish with me we can forge the worlds of beauty barely held by our lips

We can

And we shall. For her, for me for her for her because we are live yet we will not choose to die fuck them all
She is
After tearing herself from the murder she has seen the hells atrocity the worlds killing grounds

Her body smashed again her scars bullets shrapnel and knives her tiny form smashed again and once more



My poisoned mind death’s dare and call my agony my own blight my fight so bright dims even as she sleeps by my side
She is virtue incarnate. She is will wrapped in scars she is choice undefiled she is dignity bravery resolute insight and sacrifice. She is defiance made flesh she is wise she is MINE.
Her delicate bones exquisite she is a heartbeat of fragility her tiny hands a softness a love a key an answer to all that is brutal so many she has witnessed torn dying a pyre of knowledge
nothing to the fragile steel of her courage.
She replies tears and compassion brimming held by her
Buried in her endless heart.
Her reply to it all at the dawn we share (wish it wish it hope like the madman I have always been!)
Her reply is that she loves me. That we are still alive. Her reply to war is ALTRUISM.
And this woman… her heart is mine.
For her. She is forever oh I swear upon every lucid moment scattered through the madness that infects and steals eats clusters of years lost gone time… she is oh she is


beauty, love, awkwardness, topless, brilliant, pastel

I have been writing my novel, which is so exciting i made my cat throw up last chapter I finished. Um… I spun her around saying “YAY!” too much. so i haven’t been painting anywhere near as much as i like to. (I’ve also been realllllllly sick. oh well.) Apart from painting I have a side-line in cat straightening – an uncommon skill that i learned in a dzong in Bhutan.

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  • lilynoelle
    lilynoelleover 3 years ago

    I don’t see this in Magic Realism! Hop to it, Paul! ;) It’s very beautiful work, with vibrant colors and a moody, lovely vibe.


  • i dont understnad what u mean!!

    it is magical realism if not then feel free to flimg adjectives higgledy and even piggeldy.
    Finished this piece yesterday (last night 28th of feb…)

    – pauldrobertson

  • oh! i get it

    i fixed that!! tis placed thus. i am not very sane today and got into trouble for trying to work (being mad in such matters lends itself to a bent and proclivity and penchant helpless and somewhat akin to some kind of spasticity…

    um. i have to be careful because i mess everything up and do mad things.

    thank you sooo much for helping me! (i mean your support. makes me cry. thank you.)

    – pauldrobertson

  • rightasrain
    rightasrainover 3 years ago

    beeeeeoooootiful colours Paul! gorgeous!

  • thanks hillie!!

    – pauldrobertson

  • lilynoelle
    lilynoelleover 3 years ago

    ;) Oh, I know it is magical realism, and a beautiful example of it, too. I just meant, add it to the group so I can someday feature it! :) Your art is always a stunning addition to the gallery.

  • lilynoelle
    lilynoelleover 3 years ago

    ;) I may throw in some higgedly piggedly adjectives in there just because I like the way that sounds. ;) haha

  • Ina Mar
    Ina Marover 3 years ago

    i am so glad you are back, Paul

  • I think I am. I hope so. I do. So much> I would like to be.
    thank you for your gladness it makes me smile, and smile in my heart.

    – pauldrobertson

  • Joanna 888
    Joanna 888over 3 years ago

    striking and rich colour, delicate mood, love her head resting on the swing rope. Beautiful piece.

  • Azellah
    Azellahover 3 years ago

    Beautiful and lucid paul, bravo.

  • Mary Sedici
    Mary Sediciover 3 years ago

    March 1st, 2011
    ►Please enter/vote in the ongoing Challenges

  • Carol and Mike Werner
    Carol and Mike...over 3 years ago

    Marvelous image . . . congrats on the feature.

  • David Mowbray
    David Mowbrayover 3 years ago

    Your work is delicate, beautiful and touching. Astounding stuff.

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