mopping secrets. mysterious things.

“Babe… it seems so long… since you’ve been gone…”

Today I have gone for a run which really, really hurt, and cleaned a house. Well my house. I cleaned it to a degree of cleanliness heretofore unknown in houses of Paul, which still requires that there be paint on the fucking walls that I can’t get off and fuck the mopping I dunno where the fucking thing is anyway. There is probably some mopping secret that only clean women and gay guys know that I am unaware of. Detection of a note of wry bitterness may have entered the convolution of syntax, well fuck me perhaps it has perhaps I am perhaps acceptance is not a practice that right now I feel I can indulge in or even remotely poke with a long curved slimy stick. Fuck acceptance and fuck fighting I am settling for bitterness for today. Bitterness makes sense and makes for burned coffee and eat a lemon it’s great eat two do lines of lemon peel shove entire lemons up your nose live in a room of lemons squeeze them carefully and softly into each eye, go to the unemployment office and wring out each individual there into a bucket then drink the fucking thing. Let it dry in the weak sunlight, scrape it up and mix it with saline then shoot the fucker into your arm with a syringe.
Mind switch. Telethon appeal. I WANT to give money to TV STATIONS oh why can’t it be easier for me to give money to tv stations? And the CHURCH! I want to give money to support the propagation of the inappropriate arcane.
I think I have finally figured out why church architecture stopped developing in the 15th century. They thought it would provide an appropriate and succinct, deeply ironic (oh irony! In the face of happiness! Oh yes my favourite flavour, why is there no irony ice cream?) metaphor for the freezing of morality despite the incipient development of humanism. Nice one pope innocent whatever ix. There was one nice one who had all the birds in the Vatican killed because the noise really pissed him off. Well I say GOOD MOVE MOTHERFUCKER. More power to you. Go on go further oh but of course you did I had forgotten, lessee, how about the genocide of the Cathars, or oh yeah the crusades, that provides a nice little parallel – by the time they finally got to Jerusalem, both sides recorded the streets being ankle deep in blood.
Or that the first crusade due to some whacky hermit, was actually composed of children and peasants and didn’t even make it past Constantinople before all dying. The second one was more impressive with illiterate knights actually eating an entire town. The cool thing about this was not only did they boil the fuckers up after (or as a means to) slaughtering them, and ATE them. They were actually Eastern orthodox Christians… oops. Well they couldn’t read the signs and must have got confused by the fact that they were no longer in France so therefore they must be evil and god should smite them or since he TENDS NOT TO APPEAR, particularly after the 4th c bc or so, it was up to them to boil the kiddies in a pot. All this at the pope’s behest. Oh, the one we have now must be raking his old nails down his face not to be able to do such things these days. Though more recently they did get to ignore everything the nazis got up to, and I am sure they are pretty happy about this killing of the infidel by our friends in delusion land with the guns. America America you suck so much America. Kiss my ass. I will build a bomb and explode it under my copies of life magazine now renamed fantasies r us. Or spastic approach to news or perhaps autistic reporting by a midget tied to a pony in lederhosen.
Ok I lifted that last part from south park but u get my point.

Gah sigh someone find me a point as pointy one that I can use to disembowel a mormen or two.

Journal Comments

  • Lee Pike