Ex-girlfriend; my hand.
Ex-girlfriend ; my hand
40×23cms
It’s pretty small, but I love it, I do. It defines how it was and how I felt.
I don’t want to sell it, but I made a deal with myself a long time ago about THAT, I guess I would, and it is in a cool frame as well. Money is just a symbol but we NEED symbols.
I did it on the train to university when I was in second year, around 1998, I think. I love this piece. It is definitively unusual. I invented the face though it looks like one of my ex girlfriends, Sarah Mennie. I should track her down, though I believe she lives in Adelaide now. She was the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. Anywhere. She was an alcoholic, and more mad than I was.
There was something utterly gentle about her, and she loved me so hard, so deeply.
I remember when I was coming down from a manic drinking bender and I was having an intense anxiety attack (two of the LEAST descriptive words in the english language – when you are having an anxiety attack you are convinced you are dying. It is one of the most horrible things that I have ever gone through, an unstoppable avalnache of fear – anyway:) -
And she held me so tightly and started crying too. I know she loved me, perhaps more than anyone else in my life. I didn’t catch her beauty in this piece, but there is something of her in the eyes, some doomed gentleness.
Ah well. I cheated on her. I was manic and 21. I was a bastard. I am sorry, yes. Sorrowful, yes. Oh, Sarah, I still think of you. I hope you are ok, I hope that you have lived. That you have stopped drinking. That you are happy.
“Nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands.” T.S. Eliot.
Another quote from me this time:
“I have to wait. Just a few weeks, a few million seconds, if that’s enough.
It’s moving slow but heavy (radius and inertia and depth) like an oil tanker or a tectonic plate. Hurts too much. I’m too tired.
I lost the keys. I thought I had them for a while but they turned out to be the wrong ones. I was wrong again.
I have no will.
Come on, give me the crook of your arm to cry on.
I’ll tell you about the menagerie of moons and press your hand between my hands and wish wish wish.”
annacuypers
I love this painting, and the honest and emotional text with it.
It’s a powerful image. Well done Paul !
anaisnais
An interesting composition, love the detail and your description sort of adds to the picture.
Tom Godfrey
Amazing paintings – the brush one and the one with words. Phew!
ozjami
Beautiful work Paul,delicate work and a emotion…well done mate !
Suzanne German
Hey Paul….I read this just now…I think I read the end part before. Each time it has the same impact. When you described anxiety attack and how Sarah wept with you, it squeezed my heart.
Take care Paul
Suzanne x
Conrad Stryker
Very compelling stuff.
deegarra
you have fantastic photographic skills and editing skills just as good.. great work.
Woodie
Beautiful piece of artwork and proses!
pwinslow
This is so beautiful and sad. What a great blessing you felt so loved, and I hope she’s well and happy, too.
mysteryfaith
Very moving.. nice work.. I do hope things are getting better for you.
Love.. what a thing it is.. it can be so great.. and at the same time.. well.. a broken heart.. these feelings can’t be explained..
ltruskett
It’s a beautiful image. Sad and yes, painful for you. I hope you are feeling better. I know about anxiety – never really leaves you alone – at least not for long. Take care.
Shanina Conway
It’s wonderful expression Paul, and there is so much beauty and gentleness in her eyes…
chamo
theres nothing like lost love and newly found love for inspiration and of course the love yet to be found one can only be faithful to ones own heart and hope that we dont hurt ourself’s or others to much in doing so. keep on arting
hennie
with ya paul
burstlive
full of expression, love it…
a little piece of advice: try and ask a professional photographer or take a dslr camera to take photos of your art (the colors will show better)
Stacey Hatton
There’s something fascinating about this piece. The cigarette makes it look like she’s smoking, but since it’s a man’s hand… unusual.
Suzanne German
...had another look paul…if ever a joining of male and female …all sorts of energies in this piece..it is really loaded isn’t it? i agree with you – we need symbols and we need money!
great art!
pauldrobertson
it is my hand reaching out to toucvh her face… never thought of it as hers before. interesting perspective. thanks to one and all
Jen Whyte
It looks like you’ve added some part of your own soul to this incredible work of art … it is hauntingly beautiful!