Solace
Pastels on Paper…
The moment we have is all that we have. we must live our lives in the omnipresent awareness that this is the case.
it is a tragedy that our lives are built of such structures so inviolable and FINITE.
... our only choice is to live
beautifully…
that these moments are full, that we live hard, live with passion and kindness.
it’s the metaphor running throguh all of my work…
we are doomed to live in linear time, and we have to die.
therefore… the moments that we can choose to form well…
become infinitely more precious.
the girls are holding each other in the face of the annihilation of the moment, and in the terrible sadness that it is gone, now, and gone and gone.
SOCIAL MECHANICS
The hell in the wall.
I’ve never been able to understand social mechanics. It seems that people will have an intense dislike for me and I can never work out why. I slip through the fabric of the social menagerie and seem to offend people every step I take. I am not cruel or vindictive. I don’t have that in my nature. I guess it might be that I get angry and lose my temper and wax lyrical in the face of stupidity, but I don’t do that very often. It remains an eternal mystery to me. People float in and out, sometimes they’re cruel, sometimes flippant, but always enigmatic, and I feel like I have (of course) a scream in my throat at the absoluteness of the lack of communication. We’re all fucked up, some of us have been crippled by life’s great turning wheels, and yet there is no solidarity. Someone will ask me a question and I feel like beginning my sentence by explaining that they might not be able to hear me because of the pane of glass between us; the separation of experience and memory and the inadequacy of the tools that we have for communicating with each other.
I don’t get it, I never have. Most people only exist for me as a collection of unexplained actions that happened to occur within my field of vision. And yet I am DESPERATE to communicate. It seems like my every action is driven by the need to explain, the need to bridge the loneliness and by so doing stifle the despair. Is that in itself an offensive thing? What is it about me that I need to change?
It exists everywhere in equal proportions, a universal silence under and inside the endless chatter. Shouting out our apathy and miscommunication. There is a world – consciousness, or at least world hegemony, and that is that we are universally alone.
Existing through books is not enough. I guess I’ve always known that. C.S. Lewis said that we read to know that we’re not alone. But it doesn’t really work like that; we read and find that we think or feel along similar lines to another person, yes, and so we are relieved. But this is a person that we will probably never meet, and certainly if we did we would be unlikely to be able to communicate with them at all, let alone on the level that they had communicated with us. It’s one way. I think that that’s why I am always giving my books to other people, – it touched me, can it touch you too? Are we alike? In this, if in nothing else?
I have this thing where I feel like my every action is unconditionally controlled. Not in the sense that I have absolute control, more that I MUST maintain it. It feels like my hands will fly up of their own accord, scattering everything in their flight. Or that my legs will kick out by themselves in the middle of a conversation with someone. Or sometimes like I must rigidly control the muscles in my face so as not to let them slip into what it feels like they naturally desire to do. If I let my masque slip, there will be a twitching grimace that will assert itself in a spasm that will gain control of my face. My features will collapse into the gargoyle that many seem to find in my traditional and bland features. I will be sibilance and palsy.
But time is so slow so slow to me now People seem to me to be moving in stutters of motion and talking in riddles, though that in itself is nothing new.
No, not anything new at all.When someone asks how it is that you are miserable, look at Johnny, he’s got cancer and both his parents have just died and have you smelled his breath? It’s tragic. How can you be sad, look at your life, you have everything? I have always thought, well, I’m sad for Johnny too now. And I’m guilty, that’s for sure. And I’m sad for the kid I taught when I was on teaching prac’ that was so wrapped up in autism she couldn’t even fucking see, and I’m sad for the old woman I saw all covered in makeup and perfume for NOONE and I’m sad for the aboriginal kid I saw today, who’s father’s shattered alcoholic face was buried in her sweet golden hair.
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brummieboy
Absolutely beautiful …...............
ozjami
Magnificent !!!
Jessica Tremp
oh Paul…will it help if i say that it touched me too?
Melissa Vowell
it’s not you who needs to change… and let me send you a book.
btw, the muffin arrived despite being thrown in the wrong direction ;)
arkstory
_ wow
GrayeaglePhotography
A fine work of passion. The work is very well done art.
Pat
Gregory Ewanowich
Beautiful piece Paul! You certainly have no communication problems when it comes to your art. This piece conveys exactly what you meant it to convey!
michael51
beautiful
hallucingenic
such a beautiful piece :) very nice work this looks wonderful!
Tony Anastasi
touched. very well done. congrats.
Janet Boyd Art
Very beautiful.
Globalphotos
Touching…........beautiful piece :)
jaycee
You see everything, that is evident, you absorb every droplet, every movement. What a gift yet it must feel like a cross to bare as well.
pauldrobertson
thank you all
VinA
Absolutely amazing artwork!!!
Belinda "Billy...
You write how I feel, I feel exactly the same every day, it can be struggle at art school where you have to move with people in a class day after day. But then I have bipolar disorder and that explains it all to me. Do you have it also? You write like you do. Anyway, I know how it feels and reading your words was good for me. It helped me to read it. I am not alone.
Jeff Burns
Absolutely Brilliant work
christophe
Beautiful work !
Vickie Fisher
You write as beautiful as your art…...love it. You are magnificent in every piece you do!
kdm2222
BRAVO…a true work of art
lupen52
We read because our thoughts are not pedestrain. Beautiful work. Take care.
Mugsy
Beautiful….words and art!
fipty
Haven’t looked at all your work yet, but I’m gonna hit the “back” button and look for a self portrait – Have you thought about publishing one?
Good words…
Michelle Avery
God your stuff is amazing. This one is sensual but so innocent at the same time.
nudemuse
This is very beautiful and moving at the same time.
Weshon Hornsby
This is a stunning piece. Great composition, style and technique…
Natalie Foss
Really lovely, a strong and moving image (and words).
Trace Lowe
Excellent work!
pauldrobertson
thank you all :)
Dutton
Beautiful.
Jaeda DeWalt
Paul,
This is graceful, soft, serene . . .
There is a beautiful sense of intimacy and warmth.
One person comforting another, a sense of sisterhood.
Made all the more interesting by the person with their back turned . . .
The one left out, the one who can’t make the connection.
B E A U T I F U L
everyoneisinsideyouallofcreationisinsideyouweareallone
pauldrobertson replied
the person with their back turned is actually a mirror, but you can’t tell. hadn’t thought of that before really. interesting. i think that i like the pece far more with this slant as i hadn’t seen that you can’t see that its a mirror before :)
thank you for all your comments on my works. paul
dimarie
lovely
they look so sad tho
red addiction
This is truly amazing!!
NCOFFEY2008
tremendous. beautiful. full of emotion.
neogolas
Beautiful work.
C.C. Arshagra
I totally agree with the third person factor making the painting ten times more powerful, confusing, complex, bold, and tender than if without the back of a guy in it. This is the third time I’ve come to visit this painting just because of this perspective. But a poem from it is not here yet. I shall return to this. Oh I got to say it again! I totally see the third person as a male. And I will not change my feelings about viewing it that way even as you now say it’s a mirror reflection of the comforter’s back. Nope, uh-uh. It’s a male. And the deed … Oh totally three naked people, two female and one male. Make that a thousand times more powerful an image.
KEITH R. WILL...
absolutely beautiful
Frank Stillitano
Exquisite use of complementary colour and composition.
pauldrobertson replied
thank you, and for all your comments frank. much appreciated
Suzanne German
Paul the lighting seems to be ‘shimmering’ and ‘surging’ out of this painting – it’s quite simply stunning! (simply…er probably not)....and the next one you’ve posted…..again….the lighting is truly ethereal – lovely lovely work – hope these two paintings are going to be right at the front of your next exhibition – they are magnificant!
....suzanne :)
Jacqueline Baker
This is such a beautiful image and i wonder if after reading your text if this is symbolic of that elusive desired moment of connection for you, to touch another’s soul and be touched back.
I love what you wrote but it touched a raw pain in my heart and i am sitting here with tears streaming down my face
You wrote:
Someone will ask me a question and I feel like beginning my sentence by explaining that they might not be able to hear me because of the pane of glass between us; the separation of experience and memory and the inadequacy of the tools that we have for communicating with each other.
I don’t get it, I never have. Most people only exist for me as a collection of unexplained actions that happened to occur within my field of vision. And yet I am DESPERATE to communicate. It seems like my every action is driven by the need to explain, the need to bridge the loneliness and by so doing stifle the despair. Is that in itself an offensive thing? What is it about me that I need to change?’
I CANNOT believe you wrote this, it is as though you are directly looking into my soul that is exactly how i feel, i was crying and weeping and wailing the other day to a friend that i cannot connect with anyone it is all so shallow it is as though there is a glass wall in between me and the world and yet i am so desperate to connect to the point of violence. It seems that i am destined to be alone behind this glass wall i wish i could find that one person who understands me, the real me not the happy masque i have to show. I have to go coz i’m spilling my guts and feel too embarrassed to continue.
Thanks
Tony Ryan
Once again Paul I can so relate to what you say. I believe that in general humanity is so lacking in transparency and communication. We seem to hold our hurt and hide from it instead of being open about it. I truly believe society would be far better off if we embraced our deep feelings and discussed them for clarity rather than just compound the confusion with fronts of strength that hide the pain inside.
Irene Walters
Beautiful work…both the literary…and the pastels. Irene
pauldrobertson replied
thank you very much for your kindness in commenting. it means more than i can say paul
Ariane
I see you touching many hearts here on the bubble with the strength of your communications and I see people responding with the same.
kissifer1
beautiful, touching and inspiring!
KellyThomas
chilling insightful writing. you can really ‘see’. Love your writing, such an insight in to your soul, true communication.
Michael T
Luv it
EnPassant
Hi Paul
Most of us are lucky if we make two or three genuine friends in our lifetime. I think we should treasure these people with whom we really ‘connect’. As for those people who seem to take an unexplainable dislike to you without any apparent reason – that’s their problem. Life is too short to waste your energy worrying about them. – As a friend of mine sometimes says “Let’s rise above it !”
Cheryl DeLong
I know exactly how you feel so you are not alone.
Terry Hinkle
Beautiful!
joanna77 29 days ago
painting portrays much emotion and experience, also your writing. touching and beautiful.
ArcadiaTempest 18 days ago
Beautiful emotive art….the colours in this are so stunning….It really is even just on my screen incredible to take in…