HI EVERYBODY!!

Technically…

I’ve won eighteen awards in the real not-on-line world, one of them international and including the WA premier’s award from Geoff Gallup. He also opened my biggest exhibition in 2004.

I have a BA in fine arts, but learned to paint anyway.

Presently I have chronic neuropathic pain. It just started happening in about 2008. I still spend a great deal of every day in a great deal of pain. Because it is caused by a lesion 7 × 5 × 4 cm in my brain, it is very hard to get painkillers that will do anything.

I have had to learn that it is impossible to paint when you are in pain. I tried for a very long time not to believe that.

It broke my heart.

From late 2011 to the present, I have been writing my first novel.

It is the best thing that I have done.

pauldrobertson@hotmail.com

  • Age: 42
  • Joined: March 2007

Journal

HISTORY OF MADNESS FINAL

They whispered in my ears and I listened. They kept me awake and sometimes it would sound exactly as if dogs were barking by my ear, and my name hissed over and over to me as I began to doubt. Never acquiesced never ever gave in and began to believe in the hardness of breathy hallucination only that I was worth nothing a fever of trickery swimming through think stinking mud holding pain like it’s…
Posted about 7 years – 6 comments

HISTORY RANT 4 - MANIAAAAAAA

“WHATEVER THY HAND FINDETH TO DO, DO IT WITH THY MIGHT. FOR THERE IS NO WISDOM, NOR WORK, NOR DEVICE, IN THE GRAVE; WITHER THOUGH GOEST.” / bible, ecclesiastes. / the text is one of the two quotes that i live by. the other, from the more respectable source of mr emerson, is about my work… yes. and my life also i guess. yes. / “TRUST THYSELF. EVERY HEART VIBRATES TO THAT IRON STRING.” / i went thr…
Posted about 7 years – Leave a comment

HISTORY OF MADNESS

PART THREE. I should add before i paste MORE of my history rant, that my life is NOT like this any more. on december the 20th it will be the anniversary of 10 years without a drop of alcohol; though the bipolar got WORSE after i was straight. which i thought was just fucking UNFAIR. / Since then… well in the last year i have gone on dexamphetamine sulphate (known as dexadeine in the US;) a…
Posted about 7 years – 9 comments

SKETCHING MADNESS.

THE NEXT BIT. please write back if you can. it is hard to… do. to post this. / I started drinking one afternoon was sure I didn’t go out or see anyone but woke up in a pair of dirty women’s underwear. / I was at a palatial house with a goddess and threw up in her spa. Don’t know her name I don’t think I did even then. / Winters were the worst always lost and drunk and cold alway…
Posted about 7 years – 1 comments