My best non-human friend died yesterday. In his youth, Toto was 10lbs of little black energy. He was our magic dog. One of the cutest dogs to ever live. He looked like Gizmo the gremlin had married Yoda and produced offspring. What breeds were in Toto’s genetics became a party game at our house for years. The closest we could get was Papillion/Poodle cross. Not your usual stray in Albuquerque, but his ears were so large that he looked like he could hang glide on a windy day. His groomers would always say that if they knew what he was, they could sell 100 of him everyday.
We had just moved into our new house in Albuquerque about 3 months before he showed up. Having promised our 3 year old daughter a dog after the move, we were dragging out feet about dog hunting. She was holding out for a black lab. Great dogs, but not what we wanted for our first dip into dog ownership.
Very early one morning my husband heard a noise in our back yard. Being a bit groggy, he said “I think there’s a big black rat in the backyard!” Later as he left for work (I was still asleep. He goes to work really early.), he said “There’s the cutest little black dog in the yard. If you see him, you’re going to want to keep him.” It was love at first site. He was a matted, shaggy, dirty mess. We looked for his owners for about 1 day. We were all in love by then, even our daughter. She took one look at him and said, “I want this dog. He’s better.” There was a bit of a skirmish over the name. Leslie wanted to call him Rachel. I wanted James as a tribute to James Herriott. My husband suggested Toto as a compromise. Not much of one since I’m from Kansas, and “The Wizard of Oz” is my favorite book.
We’ve added and lost other dogs and a few cats over the years, but Toto endured. We would have had him 19 years this April. He was living with us in our home longer than our daughter did. She can barely remember a time before Toto. I know that he wasn’t exactly cut down in his prime, but the loss is devastating. We’re not exactly out of pets either as we still have 2 other dogs and 3 cats at home, but Toto was one of a kind.
I called my daughter yesterday morning and left a message on her cell phone. She knew it was important as I rarely call her during the day. She checked the message in French class and burst into tears. Her French teacher and the girl who sits next to her in class both asked at once if she was canceling class and work to be at home with us. Not necessary, but I bless both of those people for their sensitivity.
paul romanowski, 11 months ago
SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS….CARRY ON….DOGS GO TO STRAIGHT TO DOG HEAVEN…
BE SURE OF THAT…
Patricia L. Ba..., 11 months ago
Thanks, Paul.
Deborah Bowness, 11 months ago
Sorry to hear about Toto Patricia.
Patricia L. Ba..., 11 months ago
Thanks, Deborah.
tdierikx, 11 months ago
Toto is waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge – he’s got some very good company with my old girl Woosie who passed 3 years ago. The years go by but the pain of her loss doesn’t get any easier… I’m actually crying right now…
Patricia L. Ba..., 11 months ago
How true. My niece lost her old Bassets a couple of years ago. Her 6 year old son still talks about Annie and Toby at the Rainbow Bridge. Thanks for the thought, tdierikx.
Lucindawind, 11 months ago
Im so sorry for you loss… I know how it feels 3 times now and its very painful …remember the good times …..hes over the Rainbow Bridge waiting for you now
Patricia L. Ba..., 11 months ago
Thanks so much.
SnowDog, 11 months ago
Toto I am sure will be heading over the rainbow ! I have outlived many of my dogs and I know how you feel. The one I have now Tanner is the smartest dog I know. He is my best friend in the world.
Patricia L. Ba..., 11 months ago
Thanks, Snowdog.
Michelle422, 11 months ago
Patricia, I can so relate to that. I was given a Burmese kitten from my sister as a Christmas present. I always loved the look of the Burmese cat and she knew it but she waited about 5 or 6 years before presenting me with this wonderful bundle of love. He was my baby and I loved him and when he died about 12 years later I was devastated. I went into mourning for 12 months. People would not use the word “cat” within my hearing. I know my family wanted for me to have a new cat and I finally did adopt another Burmese. He is such a treasure and I love him but he is somewhat different to my first baby.
Perhaps I should mention here that I do have human type babies as well.
Sorry about the loss of your special non-human friend. Best wishes, Michelle.
Patricia L. Ba..., 11 months ago
I remember how it was to love my first cat, too. I know what you mean. Thank you so much for your kind thoughts.
paul romanowski, 11 months ago
THANKS A LOT FOR COMMENTS…..DID YOU COME TO TERMS YET…
Tiffany Dryburgh, 11 months ago
I’m so sorry. I know what it’s like to lose a beloved pet, I have lost a number of elderly puss cats. While it is a comfort to know they lived a long and happy life it still hurts that their long life is such a short time in our lives. If you get my drift?!
Patricia L. Ba..., 11 months ago
Thanks guys. I just woke up and it seemed strange that Toto wasn’t asleep on my feet. Dogs and cats have such short lives. Makes it harder for us than for them, I imagine. My husband and I agreed years ago only to take in strays. Never to buy a pe.t when so many need rescued. So we have the comfort that we give good lives to animals that probably wouldn’t survive without us.
Tiffany Dryburgh, 11 months ago
That’s lovely, Patricia. I have a thing for the siamese miaow so we have always had one because the house would be too quiet without that giant voice around. However, we have always just come by all our other cats. We have 3 at the moment, 1 elderly siamese gent and 2 stray female moggies. The 2 girls were found under the houses of friends of friends on separate occaisions and found their way into our family. And I agree, there is nothing nicer than knowing you prevented yet another death and/or yet another unwanted litter.
Patricia L. Ba..., 11 months ago
You get it Tiffany. We really thought about getting Toto’s DNA done. You can get it done really inexpensively these days. Just to answer our questions about his heritage, but we resisted because of the temptation to try to reproduce him. Not a good idea on many levels. Now, we won’t be tempted to make unneeded litters of dogs Very cute dogs but unnecessary. We have a Bassett Hound that was a stray, too. He’s another magic dog. He’s stupid and obnoxious from neglect as a puppy, but we love him. My mother in law was in the hospital about to die from heart trouble. Dave and I came home to get some rest and take care of the pets. We took our other dogs for a short walk, when a Bassett Hound ran up to us out of the dark and followed us home. We named him Sid VanHalen. He was 22 lbs UNDERWEIGHT! and had 75 ticks on him. I won’t got into the whole story, but our dogs seem to show up when we need them the most. I’m sure another magic animal will show up in time. Sorry to run on about all of this. It’s my grief therapy.
Starr1949, 11 months ago
I know the loss I know it well. I even walk outside and I hear a noise as if someone is rustling the leaves by my feet. As if I can feel a breeze and I look down expecting to be rushed into by a young pitbull. It wasn`t my own. Yet, it was more mine than it was it`s owners. I love taking photos. She loved accompanying me. She was a ham for the camera. Everytime I went out in the yard she followed me. She`s sit wait and pose. Or she`d get up on a wood pile and stop and look back. She would go in the wooded area and peer at me through the leaves. She was my buddy. My daily companion. I cried more than the neighbors that owned her. I took the photos and made a cd story with music as a tribute to her life. It made me sad to lose her. However, I gave the neighbor who owned her a copy. I kept a copy for myself. I know if there is a heaven for animals she is in it. It`s been several years but I still miss Sierra very much. More than I did my own dog of 13 years. I loved Susie too. A small boston bull terrier. However, I knew she was up there in years and expected it. I also knew the pup next door wasn`t going to be here long, because we live along side this busy road., and they let her run free. I asked them to tie her up or watch her. Only because I knew and loved her. The didn`t comply. When they did tie her a few times. She wanted to be with me. I could see it in the way she acted when I walked about. I`m sorry for your loss. A pet may be a pet but it can be loved as much as a human. Sometimes more so. I hope your pain eases and all the good memories of the time you shared stay and make you smile. We are all here on borrowed time. Best wishes always. Starr
Patricia L. Ba..., 11 months ago
Thanks so much. All of the understanding that I’ve been getting from my RB friends makes is so much better. Sometimes we just make some sort of cosmic connection with animals. Can’t explain it. It just happens.
jegustavsen, 11 months ago
We lost our black lab, Joy a little over a year ago. It was one of the most heart wrenching experiences. She was my son’s dog, but she was my friend, who taught me more about loyalty, forgiveness and love then I have ever learned from a human…I miss her. My daughter immediately thought it would be best to get another lab. I didn’t want anymore dogs/pets b/c my children were older and moving away. I work full time and wouldn’t have time to train another dog, but I had nothing to say about it and b/f I knew it I came home and there was another black lab on our door step. He was a young male black lab…my son named him Marley. Marley is not my Joy, but he has made his way into my heart, and after chewing up many a pair of favorite shoes, sandles, tools and materials in the garage…he is our Marley, our dear sweet, crazy Marley, who teaches and reminds me to relax and be silly and take one biscut at a time. I will post a picture of him in my bubble…my thoughts are with you Patricia.
Patricia L. Ba..., 11 months ago
Thanks so much. We all love all of our pets. It’s just that some are especially magic. Probably shouldn’t admit this on the internet, but I put Toto’s ashed under our bed. They’re under the spot where he slept on my feet every night.
Jen Cannella, 11 months ago
I am so sorry for your loss Patricia!
Patricia L. Ba..., 11 months ago
Thanks, niffer. Glad to see you back!
Di Edwards, 11 months ago
Patricia, my heart goes out to you. Even though Toto has left you in physical form he will be watching over you in spiritual form and will make sure that he has a hand in the choosing of your next dog, you can be sure of that.
My old boy Sparky passed 5 1/2 years ago and I miss him to this day. His ashes sit on a stand on my bedside chest of drawers and every night I continue our bedtime ritual and put my lip balm on and then kiss my finger before placing it gently on the box.
They take a piece of our hearts with them when they go racing across the Rainbow bridge.
Patricia L. Ba..., 11 months ago
They do. I just telling my husband last night how I felt like a piece of me was missing.