Hate is a Strong Word

Author: Tony Ryan
Word Count: 503
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Hate is a Strong Word

I have a massive fear of violence. I cannot understand why humanity has lived with violence and do all I can to understand why it happens. This piece is about passive agression and how I believe it has a great influence on physical violence. This is not to suggest in any way that I support physical violence. Just to suggest that perhaps the physical is the symptom rather than the cause.

Hate is a Strong Word belongs to the following groups:

Core [C.O.R.E], Creative Inspirations - [2pw], Friends of RedBubble, Live, Love, Dream: , Melbourne & Victoria, Sydney and The Healing Journey

My Mum stimulates much of my writing with our conversations. One thing that she doesn’t like owning up to is hate. She has experienced much pain in her life emotionally and in my opinion has felt hate many times in her life especially when feeling rejected. However when I mention this she replies with ‘Hate is a Strong word’. She then admits to perhaps disliking someone but never to hating.

When my Mum was a young girl her father was found to be playing up on his wife. At the time my Mum adored her father and this really shattered her. My grandfather was a deeply passionate man and also highly respected in his community. However in those days [around 1940] you couldn’t do much worse than be found out playing up on your wife especially when you were a well respected doctor and media identity.

My mother went from thinking of her father as God to feeling him to be dirty. Further she stored the incident as a rejection of her. At that age she had little capacity to go deep in analysis and so stored this enormous hurt based on heavy society conditioning. From there she felt guilt for not having love and respect for her father and this fuelled much self and father hatred.

Through Mum’s adult life she would find herself become very cold when certain situations pushed on her stored pain. This of course pushed people away from her and created my father and myself to reject her. These days Mum is now very aware of how her energy has self sabotaged her relationships but can still fall into the trap of not embracing her darkest feelings of hatred when they do arise.

Hate is such a strong word and a deeply powerful emotion. However in my opinion powerful hatred is only sourced from people who have a deep capacity to feel. Love is also a very powerful emotion and in my opinion more powerful than hate. However for a sensitive person to really reach the zenith of their love potential they must fully acknowledge and embrace their negative emotions including hatred.

On a society level we have little evidence of powerful love but much evidence of powerful hate and violence. This permeates on so many levels with victims and perpetrators sharing similar levels of hatred. I cannot stand violence and fear it so much. However to my mind the only way I can truly protect myself from violence is to cleanse myself of any fear, hate or insecurity within my own system. Only then can I be sure that I am not projecting out what may come back to me as physical violence.

Society has many physically agressive people. However for every physicaly agressive person I wonder if there are as many passive agressives. People like my Mum who have been hurt and rejected by life and loved ones but are not admitting to or even aware of the agression they have stored within.

frenchblue

this is a very powerful piece of writing Tony! what you have said is very true and often not acknowledged by most people. Hate & Love are born from the same place and there is no room for them both to live there. Only when we are forced to face our inner fears and reasons as to why we have given birth to that hate are we really able to liberate ourselves from it!! keep up these powerful words! cheers! cm
Tony Ryan replied

Thanks cm. I believe that we have been born for the joy of experience rather than to struggle with relationship. However because many seem to follow the later much anger brews beneath the surface. Then when the anger becomes physical the frustrations and hate become transparent. This is where I believe we must endeavour to own the hate for cure rather than judge it and push it out of our consciousness.
oliver berlin

Hey Tony,
this is very perceptive & close to the bone for me.
Hate & fear are HUGE engines for peoples’ way of being internally & externally.
My experience is that in mutates & distorts all kinds of other internal balancing mechanisms & can be very, very dangerous.
Why are we humans conceived so?
Sigh…
Tony Ryan replied

Thanks for your comments Oliver. I have a strong belief that humans will change for the better and very soon.
crackedpot

Yes Tony, the passive aggressives are numerous and not always easy to recognise at first, as it comes in many guises. The effects however, are the same. I’m always concerned with people who want only to look at the bright and shiny sides of life….for then the shadow looms larger. Anger is another emotion that is given expression underground, finally erupting in catastrophic ways.
Tony Ryan replied

Think I have passive agressive tendancies at times. If I am feeling weak in a certain situation I get a strong reaction to myself. Sometimes even now this can touch on self hatred. I think though with me when I get to this stage it is very transparent that I am agressive towards myself and therefor is not being transferred to other people.
Tony Ryan replied

Also meant to say I very much share your feelings about the people who pedestal the bright and shiny sides of life. Think that in at least an unconscious sense they are using such pedestals as anti depressants to avoid their pain. Also concure re the underground anger. On a world level this simmering anger seems to result in massive disasters that then wake individuals up for a brief period of time.
Lynette1

So powerful and so true x
Tony Ryan replied

Thanks for your feedback Lynette.
Ushna Sardar

Powerful tony!
Tony Ryan replied

Thanks Ushna.
msdebbie

Hate is a strong word, but it is important to own what we feel, and always much better to vent, express, etc than store within and create such toxicity to ourselves and others. I consider this very insightful writing Tony – really interesting piece xoxo Deb xoxo
Tony Ryan replied

Thanks Deb, appreciate your feedback and interest. On a personal level when I do lose control and/or vent my anger I then honour the emotion/ reaction by writing deeply as to what caused my outburst. This way I believe that my anger becomes a positive.