Tony Ryan

Following is another possible entry to the book I would like to publish about relationships.

I believe many of us are dependant upon externals for our happiness. We look for so many things to make us happy but how many of these things are heart felt desires? I believe that we have been brainwashed by society with regards to what will make us happy. As a result we become very single minded about certain people or external things we need in our lives.

This is none more evident than when we think of soul mates. Personally I do believe in them but believe that in most cases they will only work once each individual has connected to their own soul first. If either partner is not secure their soul mate is likely to become their sole purpose for living.

This is the ugly side of romantic relationship. One or both partners become so dependant upon the other for their existence and happiness. The end result is a strangulation of life. Fear of loss being so great that the person feels scared to be truly free. I know how this feels as I have been there regularly. In fact the deeper one’s capacity to feel the greater the fear of loss.

This example with soul mates permeates all sorts of human relationship in my opinion. Many parents place enormous dependency upon their kids for their own happiness. Their kids become so important to their own sense of self that these kids become sole points of interest in the parent’s life. Hence once again the parent’s energy strangles the child’s freedom and their own.

Some others do this with status or wealth or their own appearances. They place something as a major priority in their lives and become ignorant to other people and activities that surround them. By placing sole importance on one or limited aspects of life they cut themselves off from so much experience and wisdom and freedom and strength.

I believe our souls know exactly what people and experiences we need to achieve and maintain joy and peace. The trick is to be open and courageous enough to do what it takes to hear our souls. However these days so many of us seem so controlled by childhood fears that are long forgotten that we listen more to our peers than to our own souls.

The thing is society and peers are far from pure and divine. If we are to listen to these controlling forces we are going to be encouraged to be selective and judge mental. To target selected activity and people over looking at each person and activity with an open mind. The thing is the more we think and live like this the further separated we become from our soul and from any meaningful relationship with our soul mate.

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