Psyche funnies...
These just go to show that we Psychiatrists are the sensible ones …lolol
we must be the smart ones we don’t let out Bloopers get out…lolol
“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.”
“A psychiatrist has to be a person who commits himself to making a person better. Nothing should be too menial for a psychiatrist to do.”
“A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free”
“My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.”
“I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.”
Have you heard Broadmoor’s answering machine? It says: “Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you have paranoid delusions, we know who you are and what you want; just stay on the line until we can trace your call. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressed, it doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will listen to your message.”
“Freud: if it’s not one thing, it’s your mother.” – Robin Williams.
“I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.” – Anonymous (American).
“Neurotic” means he’s not as sensible as I am, and “psychotic” means he’s even worse than my brother-in-law. – Karl Menninger. A somewhat humorous psychology quotation.
“Anyone who would go to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.” – Samuel Goldwyn. Isn’t this psychology quotation a little redundant?
Jodie Elchah
I love the Broadmoor’s answering machine =one. My babies are rolling on the ground with me, thank you for the laugh tonight..Jodie
Pagly2
You are very welcome…glad you enjoyed them…..lol more tomorrrow…..lol
Faith Puleston
Brilliant. I once translated stuff for a psychiatrist who was very direct and very amusing. He maintained that the reaon anyone became an analyst was that they needed analysing themselves and had this inner need to understand something in this world, and who better than themselves? That is the first thing analysts do, of course. They analyse themselves. He said that was when he realised he was basically a nut case. But, he said, it takes one to know one. So though you don’t have to be crazy to be a psychiatrist, it helps…. What’s for lunch?
Pagly2 replied
ohh I became a Psychiatrist to spite my father…lolol he refused to allow me to take up Nursing..so i got into Uni where i got my degree in Economics which PLEASED him then went on to med School and then into Psychiatry which REALLY annoyed him…lol and yes you dont have to be mad to live here but it sure helps…..and i retired several years ago as a Consultant…lolwell I think I did…lolol
hilarydougill
I can relate to these, absolutely wondrous!!!!
Pagly2 replied
ohh Hilary I am sure you have heard more than this…lol as I have….but they never fail to make us laugh…..lol
more tomorrow..then I must get back to writing…lol and YOU as well..lol on second thoughts EVERYONE should…lol
lianne
Ahhh another great little wakeup laugh, dear Trisha – this gems can come from every field but must admit the answering machine one had me in complete stitches! Love it!
Pagly2 replied
I liked that one too…......lolol ...tomorrows are better though…lolol
so put the cup down before you start reading…lol
hugs…xoxox
cheetaah
“My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.”lololololololololololololololollololololololol can’t stop laughing…..lololololololololollololololololooloollolololololololol
cheetaah
I’m calling my husband to read it to him lolololololololollololololollolol oooooooh my God I can’t stop it lolololololollololololol
cheetaah
“I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.” lololololololollolololollolollllllllllllllololollolololollololol ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh
I can’t stop laughing heeeeeeeeeeeeelp
Pagly2 replied
ohh Cheetaah…. at least your happy again and thats GOT to be GOOD…so glad you like them…...its so good to hear all the laughter…..such good medicine…......Thank you…BIG HUGS…xoxox
Pagly2 replied
ohh Cheetaah…. at least your happy again and thats GOT to be GOOD…so glad you like them…...its so good to hear all the laughter…..such good medicine…......Thank you…BIG HUGS…xoxox
lianne
too cute – I shall take your advice if only to keep the coffee from going up my nose!!! And look forward to it as well!
Pagly2 replied
Good…......dont want you burning yourself then haveing to explain to your Doc how it happened…lolol
Nite Dear Vabi…xox
Faith Puleston
Psychiatrists don’t retire. They just fade away!!!!!!!!!!!! Your father’s motives would probably make a PhD thesis! I met “my” psychiatrist on the parking area opposite our little Town Hall recently He said he’d survived an aneurysm and was now trying to give up smoking! I used to dictate his lectures (translated into English) onto cassette and he would practise them on the way to conferences. He used to tell me to liven the texts up a bit and put some good jokes in….....
Pagly2 replied
ohh trust me my Fathers motives were completely selfish…and yes probably would have made good reading for some..lol
People expect jokes from us at lectures…lol EXCEPT the Women Psych’s we were expected to be Serious….???? nothing has changed…..lol
adgray
lol not everyone has met you yet! lololololol :o)
Not everyone has met me yet and I’m scared when the one who sees the real me does :o) .... I mean I often feel like I’m only pretending and you’ll all tell me the truth eventually …. or isn’t that how we’re meant to feel? ..... :o)
Funny yes :o)
Pagly2 replied
OHH ME TO ME TOO ..lol maybe thats why I am single BUT !!!
that could change…??? lolol