Just yesterday I was his Baby.
“He sent me kisses on my phone.”
Such sweet sentiments all day long while I worked.
Now my own phone seems to have forgotten me.
Over … done … all gone!
So quickly we went from loving embraces to empty dreams.
Words that were once so hopeful and endearing now seems like the roar of distance thunder, barely audible and oh so gloomy.
How quickly the excitement fades.
What was once anticipation of his arrival is now the realization that he will never come. That the waiting will never end.
That it is truly over.
No fond farewell. No kiss goodbye.
You don’t think you will miss him. When it all goes bad, what is there to miss?
Perhaps in some glint of my eye, I saw what could have been, what might have been, what I have always wanted.
So I cling to it for a bit because it feels so good.
It is hard to let go of those dreams.
How sad that I could not dream awake.
But here it is.
The truth … I did give it my all. I held back nothing.
I am proud that I did not bend.
I felt it all. The joy, the happiness, the excitement, the pain, the distrust, the wounds that we both inflected.
And I realize that I will do it again. I will not be jaded.
When possibilities come again I will grab it and take it for all its worth.
I will LIVE … AND LOVE … and be hurt if I must.
But I will not be afraid or fearful.
Yes, I allow myself to be hurt … but only for awhile.
Soon I will rise up again and grab my phone …
and text …
“I cannot wait to kiss you”
because it will be true … because I am not afraid to feel again.
Love comes … and goes … and comes again.