Retaliation For A Bad D
Retaliation For A Bad D belongs to the following groups:
Pets Are Us ~ 2 per day, Short stories - Spherical Scriptings, Twisted Tales and WMGJosha was kneeling by his dog in the middle of the highway. Tears exited his eyes like raindrops from the heavens. There was a full moon and the reflection from the headlights of the vehicle that had ran over his dog was shining brightly from the dog’s eyes. The drunk driver that had caused the accident had jumped out of his car and taken off down the lonely road.
” Hey mister, come back! You ran over my dog and he is dying. You have to drive us to the nearess hospital, please, I urge you to help,” screamed Joshua. It was to no avail because the driver had stumbled further up ahead and fallen on the pavement of the highway. The liquor had already done the damage in his blood system and he was out cold.
The crying young lad lifted his everyday companion and placed him gently on the back seat of the running car. The keys were in the ignition and he knew a little bit about driving a car. He closed the door to the back seat and jumped into the driver’s side of the automobile. Joshua shifted the gear shift in reverse and pressed the accelerated to back up and avoid hitting the light pole that was already blocking the highway.
He could hear the moaning from his dog and when he braked to stop the car he noticed the blood that was dripping from the wounds and onto the floormats. He cried to his friend of twelve years, “Don’t die Roover, don’t die, please hang in there ! ”
Again he shifted into first gear this time and the car sped foward as his short legs and feet reached out to the press the gas petal. The tires spun as Joshua held onto the steering wheel even though he couldn’t see over the dashboard. Up ahead was the strung-up drunk driver regaining consiousness and eyeing the high beam lights illuminating on his clothes and coming from the vehicle with no driver in sight.
The man tried to roll out of way of his own on-coming car, but it was too late. The automobile was on top of him before he could get out of the way. Joshua felt something hit underneath the floor of the car, but he had no knowledge that it was the owner himself. He shouted out from the window, ” You bastard, I hope it was you I ran over.”
After a couple of miles of good luck driving the auto ran out of gas and came to a rolling stop. The boy jumped out and opened the back door and took his dieing dog out. Joshua ran the half mile that was left to the animal hospital. He placed the dog on a bed and shouted for the vet, ” Hey mister, I need help right away! “
From the back room came the veterinarian. He looked familar as he approached the dog owner and his pet. It was the drunk driver that had ran over his dog and he was holding a gigantic knife in his right hand as he spoke, ” I will take care of your dog, just like you took care of me !”
Copyright© 2008 Oscarelizondo
Sally Omar
Oscar, Excellent writing…sounds like a bad dream…Hugs, Sally xxxooo
suzee
Excellent story Oscar. Left me wanting more. Sx
oscarelizondo replied
I wanted to put more on it, but since I was trying to enter into a competition, it had to be shorten to 250 words. It took me three versions of it before I got it right. Now, I am having trouble tagging it to let it stay in the running. Thanks for taking time to read it, I plan to explore my options about extending just a little longer. However, I get so boring at times that people get tired of my writings, especially since I have so many stories. I have about two hundred stories and poems on this site, not including the ones I haven’t put in yet. I just like to write to pass the time away. It’s people like yourself that inspire me to continue. Many times I feel like an idiot because I feel that people tire of the same person writing so much and placing it here in this website. Maybe one of these day I’ll get the courage to write or add some more of my works. I totally respect the readers opinions about enough is enough. You have been so gracious with your comments and I really apreciate them, you have no knowledge how good it makes the soul even if there is only one person reading my works. It’s what I strife for, I just love doing it, and I wouldn’t know how to thank you enough for the time you spent reading it. Please except my apoligize if I over burden you with what I write, say, or opinions. You have a great day and hope to hear from you even if my work is boring, it’s okay. Your true opinions are welcomed no matter what they may be, I respect them sincerely, so don’ t be shy to comment on them. Well, see what I meant about over stating my welcome, you just relax and enjoy your day.
Natella2020
What a twisted ending, it caught me totally off guard! If you still want to enter this in the competition, all you need to do is edit it down to 250 words. You’ve got the raw basis of a really cool story, but some of your sentences are run-ons, and I think you could leave out some of the details about what was happening to add to the suspense. But that’s just my humble opinion. :o)
oscarelizondo
I love humble opinions because they tell the truth. I have never been afraid of the truth, so thank you so much. I did cut a lot from the origninal version, but in doing so the mistakes did come out as run ons. Great observation, I kept the orginal and I made cuts five different times until I did get it to 250 words and I hope it make it into the competition. I plan to expand more after the competition because I did have some friends that want to read up some more on it. I really appreciate you comments and truthful opinions. Thanks.