It took me only thirty minutes to get out of bed,
but it was early, so I went back to sleep instead.
By eleven o’clock the alarm went off again,
and I put my slippers on before I could stand.
I went outside to look for the newspaper,
that’s when I noticed an odor of some smelly vapor.
Sure enough I looked under my slippers,
And they had the poo poo from my dogs dippers.
Cleaned them off with the water hose,
but the smell was still embedded in my nose.
Went back inside with my reading paper to the bathroom,
flooded the toilet and quickly found the wet broom.
The door bell rang so I went outside,
a policeman was waiting and I couldn’t hide.
He took me to jail for my unpaid parking tickets,
got locked up in a cell full of crickets.
My slippers odor soon got the attention of my cellmates,
got into a fight after many heated smelly debates.
They locked me up in a solitary confinement cell,
and those next to me started to gag from the smell.
They released me and sent me home walking,
people along the way noticed my slippers and started talking.
Soon the sanitary department came with bad news,
they told me to get rid of them and buy some shoes.
I tried going in a department store to buy another pair,
they kicked me out and screamed, “Don’t you dare!”
So I took off my slippers and put them in the dumpster,
a homeless man threw them out as he turned into a monster.
I went barefooted as I carried my slippers in my hand,
the sidewalk was hot so I walked and at times I ran.
Halfway home my boss stopped and offered me a ride,
nobody in his car wanted to sit by my side.
After two blocks my boss said he had to go another way,
So he dropped me off and said, "Don’t come to work today.
I continued walking until my girlfriend saw me on the street,
She stopped and said, “What’s that yellow stuff on your feet!”
She went away as a dog approached and lifted his hind leg,
that dog urinated my feet and only stopped when I begged.
The city people couldn’t believe my sorry bad luck,
I wanted to say something so I said, “What the _uck!”
A policeman escorted me as I walked behind his car,
As people cheered me on as though I was a famous movie star.
He led me to a car wash and pushed me in with his bumper,
I came out smelling like a rose and hungry for my supper.
I finally made it home only to find a sign on the door,
it read, “This house condemned because of a smelly floor.”
That day I lost my house, my girlfriend, my job, and myself esteem,
but I gained a car wash for my smelly slippers as I had them steamed.
Copyright © Oscarelizondo Tuesday January 20, 2009 10:04 AM
These smelly shoes really cost so much to a young man.