Quest

Quest

The Quest Beyond the inner world…

Runaway by: Nicole Ryan

“I’m not going there again,” He said
back to the mirror
there was a man
and he always looked out from those eyes
pretending to be mine
pretending to care
pretending to be there
but he wasn’t.

He never was
he was always less

best; if we don’t consider
how I got here
I have to live with it
you don’t.

Yes, it’s dark here
no matter what time of day
and that’s why I like it
I come here
I brighten my world
with colour
silence
and just the slow trickle
of the water
reminds me of my blood
it reminds me that i’m still alive.

I can hear my heartbeat
and it’s steady
no thumping
jumping
walloping
or whacking
against walls
and doorways
and down that shitty staircase
that he loved best
he would push and push
and yell at me some more
and dig his dirty index finger
into my chest
you’re an asshole
you’re a loser
you’ll amount to nothing
you’re just like your father
and your mother’s a whore
of course
he was always right.

So I spray these walls
I create light out of the darkness
I leave my name
a symbol
and a dream
I roll cigarettes
and I smoke
just like he did
and I fight the constant urge
to kill that fucker
for killing my life
and my desire
to kill that pain
with a bang
with a pill
with a slice
and I take all of the pieces
marching around inside of my head
and I paint a picture of his face
I highlight it
design it
and own it
with an underline
and a capital word that says DEAD
and I promise myself
and the angel up on the bridge
that I will live
and I will come here again tomorrow
so that I don’t visit him
and end it all forever

no matter much he deserves it
I will always runaway.

© ryan

Quest belongs to the following groups:

Complex Simplicity of Art, Altered by Design, Architectural Photography, Art and Stories Made For Children, Art Inspired by Dreams, Art Students and Beginners, Back In Black, Childhood, Dilapidated Buildings, Graphic Editing 101, Green!, Kairos - Capturing the Decisive Moment, Light and Reflection, Live, Love, Dream, Myths, Legends, and Fairy Tales, PixElations - The Art of Photoshop, Practising the Dark Arts, Rusty, Crusty and Falling to Bits, Sci Fi , Selective Coloring, Silhouettes , Spiritual Art, Technical Photography, The Digital Interface, The Eyes Have It, Vibrant and Vivid Color and Video Montage Group