I take a deep breath, hold it, hold it, longer…..release…Ahhhhhhh.
I try to imagine all the worry and slurry that infects me during the day is released in that breath. I pretend threads of negative energy knot up in my lungs and are spewed out with that breath. I do it before work every morning as I know there will be people who will replace it much quicker than I can breathe it out. But at least I keep my head just higher than the black ocean that engulfs me. Mind you it’s not always bad, it’s sometimes worse. I’ve noticed I don’t do it the mornings I don’t work.
I’m a sales person.
I see the side of humanity that wants it cheaper, better, faster. I see the Jones’s come in every day buying something just so they can keep ahead of the people who want to keep ahead of them. I hear things like, “I can’t believe the state of the world today, what’s the best deal you can do me on a 50″ plasma TV?” or “I can’t believe the lack of service these days, what’s the best deal you can do me on a 50″ plasma TV?” or “I can’t believe how expensive these are, what’s the best deal you can do me on a 50″ plasma TV?”. I think how can you complain about these things then buy a 50″ plasma TV? It was a sharp kind of thought, now it’s a blunt, numb kind of thought. I add it to the ball of dark twine in my lungs.
I sell TV’s
I see the staff whom have fallen to the wants and demands of the well-off needy after years and years of service on the unneeded much wanted material front line. A kind of cloudiness in their eyes and shadow over their soul, many times unaware that they’ve said good morning to me three times in the first hour of work. Just a reflex action as another us passes by. And then I see the others, newer employees still with enough life in them to struggle against the invisible force of consumerism, each day making a stand, winning or loosing a small war before either leaving knowing there is no hope or staying and becoming a “have a good day now” zombie. Or like me struggling as I seem to be, branding truth as my weapon and slaying as many of the Jones’s I can.
My sales are above average.