earth moving toward me
blood draining from me
steel pushing in me
fear coming over me
pins and needles filling me
cold taking over me
noise flying arround me
hands pulling at me
and still no god helping me
and all thats left are
prayers being said for me
lest we forget
JenniferB
don’t delete this, it’s a very good poem Nick, but what a mind-switch! From what we were previously discussing a mere few minutes before you wrote this… How the hell could you have been thinking about sex and god almost simultaneously??? Unless of course you envisioned me being the demon you needed rescuing from? lol
cold taking over me
noise flying arround me
hands pulling at me
and still no god helping me
very expressive lines, you should write more.
Nick Milton
jennifer,im like a kid being told i did well,its shit,but how i feel,
god and sex????im a sex god (is that ok)
deliriousgirl
Fantastic!!!
Nick Milton
come on girls your teasing, even i know its crap.
JenniferB
It’s not crap!!! I don’t think it’s fantastic either, I think you do have talent though, albeit, bottled up, constipated talent, ;
) If you’d loosen up a little and just say what you really wanted to say, then you’d create a fantastic poem, this one however, is good, verging on very good, in my, arrogant, humble, whore of an opinion. ;)Nick Milton
your lovely,you and delirious ,love the “dont think its fantastic” bit, dont really like poetry though,and your right,i dont get it out do I?
x
JenniferB
i dont get it out do I?
some of it you do… the rest… Maybe I could give you a little hand with? ;-)
Nick Milton
youd need little hands to make it bigger.
oh you mean the poem.