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NaPoWriMo #29

Knox Leader Before Coffee

Local paedophile to go to Commonwealth Games
Local squash referee denied appeal

Building of local sports facility puts out fire in garbage truck
Local garbage collector runs over budget

Local high school student to accompany national youth choir at railway station
Local government to employ two more police officers for tour of Europe

Local grandmother still dangerous despite improvements
Local pedestrian crossing founds motor neurone disease support group

Local cricket club wins $80,000 for hospital equipment
Local volunteers raised sporting gear in competition

Swine flu drugs fined for assaulting local customer
Shop owner to be manufactured locally; more staff needed

Local car lane to be turned into musical
Local actress to perform in bus lane; drivers outraged

Local government funds 800g lemon
Local lemon tree produces pergola at childcare centre

Currently unavailable for purchase



Today, they gave us the theme of newspapers, possibly because a month of daily poetry-writing has picked our imaginations as bare as a bird’s bum in March.

I usually avoid newspapers as they tend to make me feel as bummed as a bear’s march in bird.

But, my commitment to NaPoWriMo being as much as a bard’s bum in bed, for the first (and last) time ever, I opened up our local paper and actually took a squiz at what I’d been ignoring for years.

Here is what I’d imagine the contents of the old Knox Leader would look like if… well… one were feeling as blurred as a bum’s barking mayor.

Tags

high, paper, coffee, news, newspaper, local, stoned, knox, napowrimo

Comments

  • Zefira
    Zefiraover 4 years ago

    gotta love the local papers. great work

  • msdebbie
    msdebbieover 4 years ago

    I do love the Knox Leader!Very amusingly penned Nebsy xoxo

  • ukto47
    ukto47almost 4 years ago

    hahha yes thats great very funky meanings and juxtaposition..good stuff!

  • Fiona Lokot
    Fiona Lokotover 1 year ago

    Ah, the Knox Leader! I’m pretty sure remember reading some of those news articles! Particularly the garbage truck fire… I like the “dangerous grandmother” line.

    Intriguing concept for a poem.

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