Knox Leader Before Coffee
Local paedophile to go to Commonwealth Games
Local squash referee denied appeal
Building of local sports facility puts out fire in garbage truck
Local garbage collector runs over budget
Local high school student to accompany national youth choir at railway station
Local government to employ two more police officers for tour of Europe
Local grandmother still dangerous despite improvements
Local pedestrian crossing founds motor neurone disease support group
Local cricket club wins $80,000 for hospital equipment
Local volunteers raised sporting gear in competition
Swine flu drugs fined for assaulting local customer
Shop owner to be manufactured locally; more staff needed
Local car lane to be turned into musical
Local actress to perform in bus lane; drivers outraged
Local government funds 800g lemon
Local lemon tree produces pergola at childcare centre
Today, they gave us the theme of newspapers, possibly because a month of daily poetry-writing has picked our imaginations as bare as a bird’s bum in March.
I usually avoid newspapers as they tend to make me feel as bummed as a bear’s march in bird.
But, my commitment to NaPoWriMo being as much as a bard’s bum in bed, for the first (and last) time ever, I opened up our local paper and actually took a squiz at what I’d been ignoring for years.
Here is what I’d imagine the contents of the old Knox Leader would look like if… well… one were feeling as blurred as a bum’s barking mayor.