A journal is an outpouring of one’s thoughts, as well as a place for self-discovery. It may be that writing puts things in a fixed perspective, or that a penned word is more lasting than a fleeting memory. Either way, a journal is the most personal possession anyone can have. If you, or any of your henchmen, discovered this journal, I would surely be doomed to a tragic and drawn-out death.
Thus, I’ve decided to address you in this journal, and tell you the story of demise, either yours or mine. If I am to be killed, I will make sure to thoroughly earn it.
No dates will be written atop my pages. As you try to measure the span of many lives in days, I will disregard those numbers as a mark of my rebellion. Though your shallow mind refuses to see it, the measure of a life is not in its length but in its merit.
Interestingly enough, you are unaware of my real name. Amber, you once addressed me, for the golden hue of my eyes. My name is Amirah, princess of my father’s heart. He had hoped to mold me into a woman of greatness, and I am relieved that, for once, I was able to heed his words and be patient. May the venom of my honeyed eyes be your eternal anguish.
_______
I have a companion in this infernal cage. Several, in fact, but one has caught my attention. She sits apart from the others, glaring at the dust on the wall, but her expression is passionate and her head covered. A kindred spirit. Her name is Nabilah, the noble one.
There are seven others in here, all adults. I recognized three of them from my own town. They are siblings: Ali, Faris, and Mahir. Though they would be no help in plotting, I knew them to be solid, reliable men. Masterminds in their own track.
I plan to recruit Nabilah soon. Until my source reports back to me, however, I must hold my silence. The others know not of this journal. I keep it hidden in the folds of my garment and work nightly by the glow of the snoring guard’s torch.
Soon.
_______
Abdullah, the old black man, was taken away forcibly by the guards. They returned him in a bloody mess and threw him back into the cell. Nabilah rushed to his aid, yelling and fighting, but they pushed her aside, ripping off her head cover in the process. This act spurred Ali’s fury, who punched the guard’s eye heavily. I barely blinked before the glint of a sword sliced through his flesh.
If you knew the extent of my anger, Asad, you would have feared the light of day. But as the others collapsed in shock, I had to remain vigilant and hidden. Nabilah sits in her corner, her head wrapped roughly in a makeshift veil I had torn from my clothing. The men keep their eyes averted, tending to Baba Abdullah and mourning the loss of their brother.
I will talk to her tonight.
_______
The war commences. From the thundering voices overhead, I can discern the preparation for battle. Fortunately, I chose to begin before now. Everything is in place. Nonetheless, you haven’t need to worry for a while. If the plan succeeds, you will not be killed immediately.
An army of eight is behind me; I have convinced the others to support the cause. They proved eager to join, fueled by the bloodstains on the floor where Ali was martyred.
Asad you are called, but Aswad would better suit the blackness of your being.
_______
It is evident that you are threatened. The small band of rebels has held on longer than you expected, and I can see you feeding on every grain of loyalty thrown your way.
You’ve strengthened our guard from two to six, or so you think. Even as I write this, I can hear Salim’s fingernails tapping on the metal bars.
The signal. Someone approaches.
Later that same night
Though you have locked me in this dusty hole, I feel that I am your captor. You cannot imagine my glee when your craven face appeared behind the bars. Looking in on us? I see your paranoia has flourished, and not without cause.
May God grant Salim a wondrous bounty. You lapped up his act of faithfulness as if it were the drink of youth. Indeed, it is your failure to reward loyalty that has earned you your most dangerous enemies. Dangerous in their knowledge of you and your trust in them.
I wonder, Asad, are you a good husband?
________
Today, Salim and I were wed. We stole our moment when your two guards were asleep. Faris and Mahir were witnesses.
Nabilah and Sindhura weep joyously. They are so emotional, but I embrace them just the same. I also remind them to leave the celebrations until our escape.
I must remember to leave a record of each of us for your pleasure. Perhaps next time.
______
Nabilah Jaber—an unmarried youth, imprisoned under the false charge of fornication. Daughter of Jaber Muhammad, out-spoken lieutenant of Abd-Alaziz Salman (leader of the revolution).
Ali, Faris, and Mahir, three brothers—Ali is the eldest and brightest, he was studying under the greatest minds of natural philosophy before he was captured (and now, killed). Faris comes next, and lives up to his name. He is a skilled horseman and archer, and has plans to succeed his father as the town blacksmith. Mahir is a free spirit, known for his adventures and strange discoveries. Still a teenager, he has yet to make plans for his future, but I will suggest that he follow in the footsteps of Ibn Battuta. The three were imprisoned for assaulting a group of your deputies who tried to burn down the library.
Baba Abdullah—an old, Egyptian sheikh, known for his firm stance for justice and against oppression. He oversaw my marriage.
Sindhura—a Hindu woman, paid servant of Emir Marwan Ismail. Suspected of passing the Emir’s secrets to the leaders of the revolution. The Emir did not kill her in hopes that the real culprit (which was Sindhura) would be caught, and she would be his bride.
Audrey and Richelle—neighbors and seamstresses, both widows (though not very old), both Christian. Arrested when they refused to give up their homes to the soldiers.
Until next time.
______
Audrey is gravely ill. I believe we must escape earlier than planned. Salim cannot propose quarantine without arousing suspicion, and your appointed guards laugh at our pleas.
So it begins. May God give us strength.
______
You have sent your advisor with the message of an emergency meeting of the generals. The horses are ready at the gate; Faris and Mahir have left to partake in the siege.
Richelle and Nabilah have taken ill as well. Salim’s companions carried the three of them out to be cared for. Only Sindhura, Baba Abdullah, and I remain in the prison, awaiting the all-clear. I plan to bury my journal in a corner of this cell as a monument to our triumphs.
Salim’s footsteps approach, and he is accompanied by Maymunah, who will lead the rest of us to safety. I relish the vision of your wrath as you read her name. Perhaps you should have been better to her, but I doubt you could understand the web of deceit that returns to cling to you.
I can see Salim’s eyes frequenting my corner. My husband worries for me; he is aware of my fiery nature. But I did not plot this backlash to hand it to someone else. I will watch from a corner and see the revolution through.
Father, you were right. Patience and faith have been steadfast friends in this journey. May God rest your soul and reunite us in Paradise.
Signed: Amirah Abdul-Hamid Salman
_______
I had been held captive in this hole for two days before discovering this journal, and it has been most illuminating. They speak of a public trial, in which I will be held accountable for all past crimes. I laugh in the face of their absurd noble banter.
Aswad, she called me? The golden-eyed witch. Well, I shall bear the name well. Loyalty is for those who are foolish enough to trust. I, on the other hand, know that the prudent always seek to gain.
I await the day of my trial with a violent hunger. Perhaps I may teach them the meaning of justice…..
jcmontgomery, 3 months ago
I like the style and tone. The reader is able to move along nicely and while offering a bit of information, enough is held back leaving us wanting to know more. Good work!
IAmSam, 3 months ago
I like this story. Amirah is a good character, patient and strong, waiting for just the right moments to do what has to be done. The journal format is fitting for the story, and I like the way she leaves it behind for Aswad to read. It shows that she is confident in what she and the rebels are planning and doing, confident that her patience and faith will prevail against him. She obviously put her trust in the right idea and people . .
Questions:
Is Maymunah Aswad’s wife? Is Amirah wearing a “head covering” too? And is Amirah’s father related to Abd-Alaziz Salman, leader of the revolution?
Mechellerene, 3 months ago
I’m halfway done!! Gread so far! I have to go, but I’ll be back latter! :)
Natella2020 in reply to jcmontgomery’s comment, 3 months ago
Thanks JC, glad it kept you through to the end.
Natella2020 in reply to IAmSam’s comment, 3 months ago
Very sharp eye! I was wondering if anyone was going to catch these tidbits. Yes to all three of your questions, Abd-Alaziz is her uncle.
WanderingAuthor, 3 months ago
You draw the reader along wonderfully in this. And the ending leaves room to wonder just what will happen next. A good story, and with a little polishing, I dare say it could become a great one.
Natella2020 in reply to Mechellerene’s comment, 3 months ago
Thanks Mechellerene! I’m glad you are enjoying it enough to return. Hope your day is a good one.
Natella2020 in reply to WanderingAuthor’s comment, 3 months ago
Thanks, WA, I always respect and enjoy your feedback. What did you have in mind by means of polishing?
Dwayne Boyd, 3 months ago
I felt as if the whole powderkeg was gonna blow. A great storm aproaches. I hear the thunder.
When the lightning strikes, it’s going to strike fast and hot.
Debbie King, 3 months ago
An absolute joy to read! I was taken to the cell, worrying about her before realising her victory through him finding the journal. I truly enjoyed this view into her life!
WanderingAuthor, 3 months ago
While what was happening was clear enough to make a good story, I think it could benefit from a little tightening up; a sharper idea of exactly how all the various individuals, the revolution, and “Aswad” interact. I don’t mind working a bit to figure out what is happening in a story; the average reader isn’t happy to do the same. So maintaining the suspense while, in due time, making the revelations easier to follow, would make this a story most publications would die for. (This is so especially as the end nears, although the ending itself is perfect, leaving further suspense as to the final outcome.)
Summayyah Sadi..., 3 months ago
Oh my gosh Natella, its hard to believe you are not an accomplished author with bestsellers knocking in millions!
This is one of the best reads I have had here ever. I love the way you command the readers attention and draw out the suspence. I also love the characterisation, it is deliberate and concise, It requires the reader to pay attention in order to see the strings join at the right places.
Some of the smilitudes and metaphors used are so original and deep it just blows me away.
Part of the appeal of this story is that touch, that allows you a glimpse and indeed a feel of the culture and belief system of the characters in the story.
And the ending is just perfect!
Natella you should build this, we could be looking at a fantastic book here!
Summayyah Sadi..., 3 months ago
And Oh Natella, you could look at a more ‘befitting’ title that is reminiscent of the style, the feel of the tsory or one of the many messages in the story! But you know this is just me and my passion for getting the ‘right’ titles…for me that is like a hidden treasure, like the chocolate coating around a delicious centre…Just a thought.
Jen Wahl, 3 months ago
Excellent read, Natella. One of my favorite books is ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’... your story was reminiscent of that. Strong female characters, an unbroken will, and, using any of our abilities to show our defiance (even if it is only through our eyes).
If you chose to expand on this, I would love to read more.
Natella2020 in reply to Dwayne Boyd’s comment, 3 months ago
Thanks so much Dwayne, your own comment is descriptive and and enjoyable.
Natella2020 in reply to WanderingAuthor’s comment, 3 months ago
Good thoughts, WA, I’ll get to work right away!
Natella2020 in reply to Summayyah Sadiq-Ojibara’s comment, 3 months ago
Jazaki Allahu Khairan, Summayyah, for your encouraging comment. You completely read my mind with that title. I was just waiting for Wandering Author to reply before I began the editing process.
Natella2020 in reply to Jen Wahl’s comment, 3 months ago
I’ll check out the library and see if they have The Handmaid’s Tale. Thanks for your nice comment, I plan to tighten it up a bit, actually, and possibly add more details.
liesbeth, 2 months ago
i’m gonna print this and then read it in my yard… let you know later..
liesbeth, 2 months ago
Interesting work Natella..had to go back and forth though a few times to understand it all-who’s who- at some parts i just miss out because this is not my native language, but i liked it. Making me think is something i like (not allways but then there are other kinds of stories to be read too)
Even had to look up if Aswad meant black …smile.. Great writing.
Natella2020 in reply to liesbeth’s comment, 2 months ago
You know, when I read your interview with Terri, the first thing that came to mind was that you expressed yourself beautifully considering English isn’t your first language. Thanks for the nice comment and for taking the time to read.