Tick Tock I'll save the planet tomorrow

Tick tock, I’ll save the planet tomorrow

I am green, therefore I am.
My credentials are impeccable; second to none in the closed, environmentally aware community I now call home.

Tick, tock, I’ll save the planet tomorrow

Look at my recycling bins; orange, blue, green and yellow; ranks of soldiers lined up in anticipation of forthcoming action.
I wonder how many fluorocarbons went into their manufacture.

Tick, tock, I’ll save the planet tomorrow

The butterflies love that lobelia; the colour is so subtle and pure.
Griff tells me it is the best he has seen it for years.
Probably down to the special spray he uses, the one that kills everything that flies apart from butterflies.

Tick, tock, I’ll save the planet tomorrow.

The SUV went last week, the nanny has it now.
It must be at least fifteen minutes to the school gates, and Silvana (such a treasure) has to get Milo to toddler Pilates by 9.15.
Ptomely and I used the hybrid Lexus for the first time last week, it positively purrs along.
It’s not that fast, but it gives everyone a chance to see who is driving it.
Tick, tock, I’ll save the planet tomorrow.

Dr. Hildegard assures me the botox injections are totally organic, no poisons in my system thank you very much.
Ptomely says I look so serene since I started them.
Milo and Persephone asked why Mummy didn’t smile at the school play.

Tick, tock, I’ll save the planet tomorrow.

Twentieth wedding anniversary next week, we’ve booked a long haul flight rather than take a short one, they concentrate the ghastly pollution so much more.
We’re off to the Antarctic to see the terrible consequences of this awful global warming.
A ride in a sweet little skidoo to look at the melting icecaps, perhaps we’ll see David Attenborough there.
On the way back, we are having a “buying the eternity ring” stop over in Dubai.
Ptomely has promised the diamonds will be ethically mined, so I can wear my two carats with a clear conscience.
I’d hate to think some poor African suffered for my jewellery collection to be enlarged.

Tick, tock, I’ll save the planet tomorrow.

I was coming out of the Organic Market yesterday afternoon and happened to come across Millie Litherland, an old school pal from St Paul’s.
My God, she looked appalling; Oxfam clothes, dirty nails and an old string shopping bag dangling off her bicycle handlebars.
After the usual pleasantries I asked if she always did her shopping in the market; its just so artisan and chic.
Oh no she said, can’t afford it on a widow’s pension, I grow my own.
I’ve just been browsing through the rails at my dressmakers she laughed, the house of Oxfam.
I looked down at perfect, nearly nude, biodegradable nail extensions, rather than look straight at her.
The hem on my wife of Bono’s ethically correct, save the world, mouth wateringly expensive jeans, commanded my attention fully.

Tick, tock, those who need must rely on those who want.

Tick Tock I'll save the planet tomorrow by 


A dig at those who pay lip service to the protection of the planet

Comments

  • Alison Pearce
    Alison Pearceabout 7 years ago

    Great piece!

  • georgia7
    georgia7about 7 years ago

    so true – perhaps you should send this to Cosmopolitan magazine > that market could really use the wake up call! ;)

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