My menagerie

Anne van Alkemade
Author: Anne van Alkemade
Word Count: 264
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My menagerie

I’m still on the pets theme. But who is what is anyone’s guess at times.

My menagerie belongs to the following groups:

Riginals

My chicken thinks she’s a cat
Not strange as it may sound
But it is rather funny to see
How she chases her tail all around.

Chooky really likes cat food
And she jumps over the fence
Pounces on tumbling dust bunnies
And for comfort she has pussy sense.

There is a flip to this story
My cat thinks she is a white hen
I’d not mind it really too much though
‘Cept finding her ‘eggs’ in the pen.

My dog Roger thinks he’s a person
He likes to eat people food
No muck straight out of a tin
Where his belly’s concerned he is shrewd.

I reckon with opposable thumbs
He’d open his own pack of chips
Cut up some freshly peeled carrots
And peel the lid of the dips.

But Roger still hasn’t a clue
When it comes to cleaning his mess
Where he goes when there are dirty dishes
Is a mystery, it’s anyone’s guess.

Sigh …

… my budgie thinks he’s a goldfish
Acts like he has dorsal fins
Lies on his front in his dish
Blows bubbles and then he just spins.

And I had to buy a new mirror
To hang in the goldfish tank
You see it’s no fun submerged
When you’re alone, to be perfectly frank.

Yes, Frank thought he was a budgie
Even his scales weren’t belied
That he couldn’t whistle and swing
Out of water, that’s why he died.

As confusing as this all appears
I’m cool with it ‘cause you see
I know I’m basically strange
And they’re all little people to me.

  • Matsumoto

    Matsumoto

    Oh, thank you very much for sorting that out. I was having such a time w/ my cat!!!
    She says I owe her money. She’s got a gun…

  • Anne van Alkemade replied

    freaky cat!!!!!

  • georgiegirl

    georgiegirl

    ha ha ha :D Love the ending!! Cracked me up! Brilliant poem. Reckon its one of your very best! Loved it lots and lots!!!

  • Anne van Alkemade replied

    Hey thanks GG. :o)

  • OWLGIRL69

    OWLGIRL69

    I love this Anne and can relate very well to it considering my cat thinks its a dog LOL! XOXO

  • Anne van Alkemade replied

    pets never think they are what they are, do they Tash. :o)

  • roybarry

    roybarry

    HA!!!!!!!!!

    Another great effort for the illustrated childrens book!!

  • Anne van Alkemade replied

    hmmmm, a drawing of the dead goldfish?

  • roybarry

    roybarry

    Kids need to learn sometime…......

    better a fish than a grandparent.

  • Anne van Alkemade replied

    So true. 3 weeks after her demise, Robyn noticed black fish was no longer in the tank! I told her blacky is now with the angels along with Kirra (her cat), Winnie (Craig’s dog), Rusty (Mum and Dad’s dog) and Frosty (our pre-Kirra cat) and two chooks. It’s getting rather crowded over there with the Angels. Robyn keeps asking if we can go visit.

  • ArcadiaTempest

    ArcadiaTempest

    LOL …we had a goldfish that committed suicide a few months back….found the smallest opening in the lid of the fish tank and went exploring to find that fish and no water are not a good mix for longevity!
    We have chooks that sit on our laps….not purring yet. A cat who knows he is a cat….thank goodness but he thinks he can chase huge dogs…so he has a rather inflated sense of himself….maybe he sees a tiger in the mirror. Your old macdonald had a pet farm sure put the grins in the right place for me today….. This was utterly delightful!!! :))))XX

  • Anne van Alkemade replied

    It’s funny AT, but I must say I’m surprised at how many people relate. Shouldn’t really though. Most pets think they’re people. LOL.

  • filfil

    filfil

    You know, I haven’t been here a while, Anne, but reading your poem reminds me why I always enjoy coming back.

  • Anne van Alkemade replied

    I’m glad you enjoyed it filfil. :o) Welcome back.

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