Three hours ago I was attacked by five masked,armed robbers in my garage who threatened to shoot me if I didn’t obey their commands. They set about choking and gagging me and tried to force me to close the garage door and lead them into the house. With a bucketload of luck and their stupidity I managed to outwit and outsmart them. Had they managed to get into our home heaven knows what would have happened to my wife and my family. It is not nice being held from behind and have a gun shoved into your face with their mates shouting, ‘Kill him, kill him’!
To add to their confusion, I started shouting at them and fed them such a load of bull#$*t that they panicked and ran off. I chased them but they escaped. Got the getaway car’s registration number but it was false.
I WILL FIND THEM!
Now I have a sprained neck, some contusions and cut face…………………. But I am alive!
THIS IS (SOUTH) AFRICA