The First Time
Prehistoric dating and sensuality…
The First Time belongs to the following groups:
Blue Room, The Community of Erotic Submission (approval required) and The Sensual WordYou are a young, hungry and frightened female wearing animal skins and traveling over a dry rocky landscape 0n foot alone. It has been weeks since your people were scattered after an attack from another large group of aggressive humans. You speak no known language. You have only basic survival skills, foraging, scavenging and thieving. It is an early fall morning, but getting warmer as you search for water, food and some kind of shelter before the weather or an enemy tribe catches you alone and defenseless. You are worried, but unafraid as you move quietly and warily down to a stream, a few valleys away from the land you are familiar with. You eat some berries and the occasional lizard while make your way along the walls of the canyon, keeping your eye out for dangerous beasts or humans. You peek over the rocks, and sneak through the foliage as you finally make it to the waters edge. You cup your hands and drink for a long while…
It is getting closer to the time of shivering, you decide to go downstream, treading water and fail at fishing with your bare hands, as you make your way from pool to pool. As the cliff walls close in you approach a tall waterfall, and from a rock precipice, you see below, a group of men at it’s base. You freeze, as you are already too close. Sure enough, another set of human eyes have spotted you. He too is a young male on the other bank of the river and he holds a long straight stick, with a sharp stone point tied onto the tip. You have seen this “weapon” before when it was used against your family. It scares you but the boy does not raise the spear in a threatening manner, he instead holds a finger to his mouth and points upstream with the stick. He wears what appears to be an animal skin bag with what must be nuts and seeds inside it. That is your first hope; your second wish is that he is friendly as well.
You can’t easily go down the waterfall, nor climb up the cliff, so in your first display of submission, you go upstream, with the boy in tandem, keeping his eye on you and the spear used only as a walking stick. You reach a pool and there he crosses over to your side of the water. He lays the spear down, and then holds out a handful of edible seeds with a welcoming gesture. You decide you are in no danger from him, and accept the offering of food. You eat it slowly, while the boy too, eats a portion of his food. You are thinking what is next, and the boy is a few thoughts ahead of you on that score. He belongs to a gathering of nomads, and there are older, stronger men who may or may not accept this new visitor the way he would like her to be. His first instincts are to get to know this new girl before he decides what to do. It is mid day now and very hot. The boy undresses and jumps in the refreshing water and turns and gestures for her to join him. She does the same and jumps in the water, they soon are giggling and teasing each other with splashes of water. For the first time she feels something she has never felt within her now lost family. She feels drawn to him in a different way than a child is to her father. She wants to be near this male, touch him and experience contact with him. There is nothing telling her not to do this. He is as attracted to her, as she is to him. The virgins meet in the center of the pool and explore each other’s bodies with their hands, fingers and then their lips.
The excitement of touching each other in this way escalates to what can only be called wild expression. She is overwhelmed with wanting to be fulfilled, and he too, only feels like releasing his desire for her, by driving his now very erect member into her. Soon their bodies are entwined, and slippery folds repeatedly surround firm flesh, again and again. Passion encourages them both as the water’s waves only slow them down a little. He carries her to the sandy shoreline and lays her down on her back, and they never lose a beat. A short lifetime of desire is compressed into one pulsating moment, and soon she feels a very satisfying explosion within her center, for him, an exciting rush of fluid shoots from his erection into her depths. Their hearts pumping furiously, until he is spent, eventually they rest, and reason replaces the carnal flood overflowing from their souls. They lie for only a short while, before they separate and then gather their belongings. She follows the boy upstream, and they traverse an adjoining ridge and descend into the next canyon. The couple is now on their own.
Patricia Anne ...
OOOOO HOT in here! This is written very well and I reallt enjoy the whole idea. Very cool little segment :) xoxox
Tina Longwell
Your writing is back with a flurry of passion my friend! Good to see you back and this is fabulous!!
Mark Ramstead replied
Thank you Tina…
Mark Ramstead
What are you referring to? I could fix anything you suggest?
Mark Ramstead
I usually have a friend proof read these before i submit… I did not think of you though… I just fix it and continue on…
whoseenme
i can see where you are coming from. beautiful writing, if only i felt like that for the boy.
JaneSolomon
great read Mark….i can only wonder at how often it must have been just like that too. xx
Arletta
(sigh) Well, start with this: You peak over the rocks Unless this is about a mountain climber getting a natural high, or a drug addict smoking crack, there was no peaking over the rocks. There was peeking.
Most of the rest involves sentences that might be better made into one longer one, rather than several shorter ones, missing commas, and such as that.
The part I was wondering about is the transition from it being in first person to being in third person. It’s odd, and usually not done, and would often get you thrown out of an editors office; however, it sort of works, with this story.
Mark Ramstead replied
I have fixed that misspelling and will look at the sentence structure. The first person and third person deal was conscious on my part as these people do not have words we use, or concepts we share yet. However they recognize feelings as they begin to have them. The idea is how to describe prehistoric sexual encounter, and it could be done many ways. If I do it again, I would surely do it another way just because I myself don’t know “the” way. I sent you the story, send it back and let me see what you do with it if you have time to do so. : )
Arletta
You can send it, if you like; I could definitely do things with it. However, I won’t do anything with it, unless you promise that, whatever I do, you’ll only view it as a suggestion of possibility.
As to the first person/third person, like I said, for this story it works. So, I am not including that as anything amongst the polishing. It’s a very sad fact of life that, among editors, most of them will never accept that sort of thing, because it is not proper writing.
Well, in most cases they are correct, because it doesn’t work. Sometimes, they are just being stick-in-the-mud prudes and need to be challenged. So, if you went as far as trying to get this published and they would not accept it, you might have to stick to your guns and go for self publishing.
Mark Ramstead replied
I sent it to you last night??? Do you check your email? This forum is as published as I will ever get.
Mark Ramstead replied
I promise… xox
Arletta
I didn’t get it. And, yes, I check my mail, usually several times a day. I seem to remember we had this happen before, and I had to send you an email and you attach things to the reply. Which makes me think that, maybe, for some reason or another, my address is entered wrong in your contact list.
I don’t know how it could be, when I used to get everything from you, but, that’s all I can think of. I’ll send you an email.
Mark Ramstead
Send me something and i will return it…
Emmahleee
This is very good, i enjoyed it. The idea as you mentioned it to me, is very creative and different. It makes you wonder about the experiences they had back then..
Mark Ramstead replied
I wonder how thoughts form when language is not there to frame them… Thank you Emmahlee, you got me writing again…
flipteez
Mmmmm must get me sum animal skins :-P XXXXXXX Great Read X
Mark Ramstead replied
Remember your/our first time? LOL
flipteez
Lmao l have a poem called 2 special people do it for the first time & YEP just as primal in a sleeping bag by a lake under the stars you’ll have to read it if ya wanna know more but one things for sure l am soooooooooooooo glad my first time was WAY Cool :-P & with alot more practise we got good at it eventually XXXXXXXXX