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The Last Sunrise Pt.1

The first time he had ever shot up he had been with her. Down on the docks at the edge of the lake, silver moonlight reflecting softly off the calm water. Nothing to be heard but the sound of their own voices and the low thump the waves made when they bumped the dock. Her head was on his shoulder when he shot the dope into his vein. To this day he still wasn’t sure if the fire running through him had been from the drug or the fact that she had been so close to him.
Her eyes would drift shut before springing open again, his tunneled vision took in every detail of her face, every movement she made. When her blue eyes focused for a few seconds before beginning to close again, it was like two lights shining into a dark abyss. Maybe it was at that.
“John”? She asked. “What the hell is the point of all this?”
“I’m glad you asked me something easy”, he replied. “The point of all what? Life? Existence?”
“All of the above”, she answered. “And I need concrete responses, not some bullshit philsophical junk either.”
“Right.” His head floated with the wind for a moment. “Well, I guess the point of living is to die, at least for people like us”, he threw the needle into the water.
“Maybe we’re dying to live”, she told him as her eyes drifted shut again.
“I thought we weren’t getting philosophical?”
“It’s not philosophy, just an observation”, she said. “Hey light me a smoke okay?”
He dug into his pocket, lit up a cigarette.
“Fine”, he said as he passed her the smoke, “then you give me an observation about the point of existence.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not Mary?”
“Because John, the only observation about existence that would be valid and not philosophical would be God’s. And I am not God.”
The wind blew her hair when she spoke, just a little so one bang fluttered off her forehead. Her eyes blazed open.
“Your God to me”, he told her. “At least right here in this moment.”
“That’s sweet,” she told him. She wrapped her leg over his, her other foot kicked at the surface of the water disrupting the reflection of the moon. “Bet you didn’t know God was a dope fiend.”
The cigarette went limp in her hand, before falling between her fingers to the water. She was snoring softly a few moments later.
He sat that way all night with her body pressed against his on the dock, watching the moon until it disappeared. The sun rose, illuminating the soft white skin of her face. She opened her eyes for just a split second when those fiery hues were at their brightest. He thought he saw a look of contempt on her face and he was sure the sun’s light paled just a bit to those blazing blue eyes.

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The Last Sunrise Pt.1 by 


This is the first part after Prelude which I wrote a few days before. This probably seems like something completely different but its the same story. I wanted to experiment with jumping around a bit and see how it fits the narrative of a fairly long story. Comments would be appreciated, positive and negative.

Tags

love, sun, drugs

Comments

  • jcmontgomery
    jcmontgomeryalmost 6 years ago

    As much as we may look at life in a linear fashion, it never seems to happen that way in our minds and in our lifes…at least sometimes that’s how I feel…getting yanked this way and that, between that rock and that hard place I’ve found myself between.

    The idea of writing something like this is to write. Really. Tweaking, editing, figuring out what goes where can happen later. The important thing is to not lose the moment, the thought – to keep it alive. Then later, re-reading it could trigger you to think of more, change it, or get rid of it depending on where you want your story to go and/or how you want it to turn out.

    You share the journey in a way with your characters. Don’t be surprised though if they take you somewhere that you least expected.

    This is a great start Matt.

  • It has been a looong time since I have written anything as involving as this, not to mention posting something that other people can read after just the first draft, but I believe you are right about the idea of this. The point of it is just to write, I can change whatever I want later if I choose. I also agree with you about the linear fashion, my mind jumps everywhere, I find myself wondering if anyone has a linear mind? Thanks for commenting so quickly JC, I always value your input. And even though its been a long time, I still remember the first time my characters basically just started acting on their own I soon came to realize that while some writers may plot out events in a story I will never be one of them…

    – mtda

  • ABeebe
    ABeebealmost 6 years ago

    Wow. Coming from someone who values the written word like the very breath in my lungs…that was constructed very nicely. I can’t wait to have the next taste.

  • Dwayne Boyd
    Dwayne Boydalmost 6 years ago

    This is thought prevoking. I agree with JC. Get the idea out there and tweak it later. Sometimes thes stories develop in ways you’d never expect. Give it a chance to unfold.

  • Thanks Dwayne, I appreciate the kind words.

    – mtda

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