Searching Past Ezra

mstrace
Author: mstrace
Word Count: 263
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Searching Past Ezra

I’ve been gone so long. I am trying to find my way back.

I keep looking for words
words to erase never
thick words
a mouthful
of intense vowels
fattening my cheeks
ready to be spit out
like bullets
on a page
I keep looking for the words
to crawl up
inside
my organs
cling to me like
somebodys idea of love

words, words and more words
spun into
existence
tasted on lips
feeling them the way
knuckles slide
between fingers
and skin moves
over skin
words that do more
than moan in pain
dark words
that do their own conjuring
trap their own magic
fight to be seen
deeper than ezra
farther than space

I keep looking for the words
the ones
to change my life
make it all happen
at the swirl of a pen
words that can
bring to me my big man
at dusk
my answer to the God question
at dawn
words that leave me
panting
screaming
squeezing my eyes shut
as tears fall
at the glorious
fucking brilliant
beauty of them

I wrote these words down once
I did
ones I thought were good enough
the right words
the words that make manifest
a destiny
yes
while sobbing
dear god, yes
those words
I locked them away
long ago
blew the dust off them
last night

and they still aren’t good enough.

I keep looking for the words

the exact combination
of sound on tongue
words that smell like tears and sun
Where are they?
How far do I have to go to find these words?

How fierce will my heart fight to hide them?

(c) 2009 mstrace

  • Lisa  Jewell

    Lisa Jewell

    Absolutely brilliant….shivery in fact….your words clung tightly to my head and heart…

    I’m really missed you.

    xxx

  • mstrace replied

    ahhhh, the brilliant miss lisag – how I miss you too.

    xxxooo

  • deliriousgirl

    deliriousgirl

    Ohhhh damn!

    Meeeee tooooo. Perpetually searching for those words.

    ps you make me sob uncontrollably into my keyboard once again. . .

  • mstrace replied

    delirious – where, oh where, for art thou?!
    I have been searching for you throughout the universe
    I miss you terribly and deliriously

    ((ginormous hugs from across the country))

  • Erika .

    Erika .

    I keep looking for the words

    the exact combination
    of sound on tongue
    words that smell like tears and sun
    Where are they?
    How far do I have to go to find these words?...I think you found them ms. trace..,It’s so nice to read your poetry again! xxxx

  • mstrace replied

    erika, what a wonderful comment. thank you SO much! :)

  • oneperfectkiss

    oneperfectkiss

    i’m so glad you’re back….you string your words together in a very special way! xx

  • mstrace replied

    and a special thank you right back at ya, perfectkiss!

  • jim marshal

    jim marshal

    Intense, passionate writing… nice work and good to read you again.

  • mstrace replied

    Thank you Jim!!

  • Mel Brackstone

    Mel Brackstone

    Oh don’t hide them Trace, please don’t hide them!

  • mstrace replied

    ah Mel, I’m soooooo gonna try

  • BiographyofRed8

    BiographyofRed8

    brilliantly written with intense moments, a longing a reaching for those words..

  • mstrace replied

    wow, thank you so much red8!!!

  • KathO

    KathO

    Your words are more than good enough! I love ALL your writing & it always brightens my day when I see your name appear. X

  • mstrace replied

    ((giddy)) Kath, you just made my day! :)

  • bellmusker

    bellmusker

    a mouthful
    of intense vowels
    fattening my cheeks
    ready to be spit out

    Damn I love this imagery….we both share a lust for language that keeps us up at night, and sometimes you might feel the words are taking their sweet time, but my girl, when they produce pieces like this, the magic falls into place and makes people swoon. So, so wonderful to have you back! x

  • mstrace replied

    my bubble days come in fits and starts now, but I’m grateful to be here at all! and I miss the bella bella bella, more than you know. thank you for reading my piece, my lovely, the writing has been a struggle of late…but I’ll be at your doorstep before you know it…

  • butchart

    butchart

    reading your “words” makes me want to go deeper, slough off the pretense, and find the flwing stream of purity of conscious…... you deliver all that and more….... thank you for always making me want to be a better writer…........ peace and light…......b

  • mstrace replied

    oh damn, that is indeed a high compliment…coming from you!

  • deliriousgirl

    deliriousgirl

    You are just simply the best.

    i’m still lurking about where and when you’d least expect me

  • mstrace replied

    darlink, you alone can stalk me at your leisure…

  • tracyxkeema

    tracyxkeema

    brilliant writing x

  • mstrace replied

    why thank you tracy!! xoxox

  • Sticky Flower

    Sticky Flower

    you are so fucking beautifully intense in your expression.Every time I read your words or comments,whichever end of the emotional scale they’re at, I feel like somebody is gripping my heart and speaking right up in my face, and I LOVE that about you.MWAH! XO :-D

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