You Could Have Been My Lightning in a Bottle

I reaped beneath your lightning
I paid the price
I live with the silt and sin
I am the wicked stepsister to frothy
my creamy skin has brown edges
because I baked too long
beneath your sun

I awake at night
a tangle of sheets and sweat
your taste a droplet
of longing
your skin, a leather chain
a remnant
around my throat
choking me on the emptiness
where you stood
where we laid

I touch myself
everywhere
in places shattered
vivid with gifts of juice and ink and sex
and you
my deadly malatov cocktail
you were such a cunning thing
you licked and split
and destroyed
and I can’t stand the fact that you
just left
without a word, or a nod
or a fuck you too
with your all-terrain wheels
in silent commotion.
You’re a metal replica
with plastic details
stored on the shelf in my gut
twisting and hitching
my voice into moans
trickster
devil
lust-God.

It’s good that you’re gone!
fuck you.
I cannot get clean from the want of you
and it pisses me off!
my skin a rampant nest of
vibration, slick with the song
of what could have been
but you’ll never know
never
the length of beauty that lives within
the folds of my want.

Idiot.
Your tongue could have run
a course down the center of me
Your fingers could have
soothed the bruising in my mind
Your mouth could have tasted
darkness and light
with me naked
against a wall
your own personal piece
of abstract art
But no.
No.
I’ll never be beautiful like that…for you.

You could have pumped all your
ragged
bleeding
dark
electric
combustion
straight into me
as hard as you wanted
as fast as you could
but you chickened out
bowed out
got gone!
and now you’re done
the explosion
of my words and
my prose
my longing
and my voice
too much noise for your wasted
in-love-with-yourself walk.

All that thunder
and lightning
and succubus storm
I threw your way
has passed
goodbye fool
goodbye
good luck in your search
for truth and love
just remember
what you gave up
what you couldn’t even taste

cuz I’m just this shy of brilliance
on the edge of seduction
filled to the bursting with lust
and abandon
thighs twitching, voice hitching
for a darker beast than you.
As for you,
well, you’ll never be enough to catch
just one
solitary
beat
of this girls languid bedroom heart.

© 2008 mstrace

You Could Have Been My Lightning in a Bottle by 


Dedicated to Tall Man…wherever he is, wherever he went. Idiot. Fool. You lose.

I take comfort in the fact that he will never read this.


Comments

  • eon .
    eon .over 6 years ago

    Lucky is the Love that Finds you Next. ( or that you find ) Terrific Expression in how you write " – )) Respect Steve

  • thank you hook man, your comments are always appreciated. i’m so glad you enjoy my writing!

    – mstrace

  • Lisa  Jewell
    Lisa Jewellover 6 years ago

    Oh Trace,

    This amazing piece of writing will hopefully expunge the unworthy from your mind and heart…

    I wish I could do more…….

    Much love and Care for you…xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • LisaG…yes, as I wrote in one earlier piece…men are “wretched jackoff beasts” and this one certainly was – why do we as woman always have to fall for the ones we shouldn’t even give a 2nd glance??

    (big sigh)

    xoxoxoxoxox

    – mstrace

  • Outdoors2
    Outdoors2over 6 years ago

    No.
    I’ll never be beautiful like that…for you.

    Tell ‘im Trace fuckin idjit!
    One hot strong piece of you here m’dear!

  • (standing wide, arms akimbo)

    <<harumph!>> Yep, idjit by every stretch of the imagination sir lion. His loss, not mine!

    – mstrace

  • Ash180470
    Ash180470over 6 years ago

    There’s a lesson in here for all of us I think: revenge is a dish best served …. ON THE NET. Shake it out and get on with the next one. Maybe he won’t be so tall. Ax

  • Ash…you always slay me with your comments…shake it out and get on with the next one

    damn fracking straight.

    shit though, I do like ’em tall.

    – mstrace

  • PJ Ryan
    PJ Ryanover 6 years ago

    my darling sista, this; from start to finish is an incredible collection of emotive writing, such a strong piece. There are so many lines in this that just whipped me around the head and caught my heart in it’s lassoo.

  • okay Nicole, no you’ve got me all…verklempt (sp?).

    whipped me around the head and caught my heart in its lasso

    you are so incredibly fucking fine…ya know that?

    – mstrace

  • Mel Brackstone
    Mel Brackstoneover 6 years ago

    oh mannnnnnnnnnnnnn…….Trace this is so painful to read! I read it and read it again….you evoke such passion!!!!

  • Mel Brackstone
    Mel Brackstoneover 6 years ago

    I opened up the tabs for new work, all in a row. This story of yours was first, and left me shattered, This was second, and left me sad, and this made me laugh, thinking that Tall man had better lock his doors if you ever find him!!!

  • oh geez, Mel…I followed your links in your same train of thought. You are so deft at this stuff. Its a tunnel straight down the line of emotion. That last image was too perfect!!

    – mstrace

  • Mel Brackstone
    Mel Brackstoneover 6 years ago

    I keep coming back to this….I’d LOVE to be able to recreate this sort of passion in a photograph…..

  • Mel, if you ever decided to recreate this sort of passion in a photograph, I might as well admit mee-self to the nearest emergency room. I’m not sure my heart could take it. But my mind should would FRACKING TRY!

    – mstrace

  • bellmusker
    bellmuskerover 6 years ago

    That darker beast, babe…you said it.

    As you always, always do….so beautifully x

  • bell…I think if you and S&P can find a place in the world to hold hands – then dangit, someday I can too! he’s just…

    lurking
    around
    the
    next
    corner

    listen beautiful…get thyself to America fast please please purdy please, will ya?

    – mstrace

  • butchart
    butchartover 6 years ago

    i don’t think we really know or taste the true essence of passion until this stranger.. this instigator of lust and need and anger… has careened through our lives… leaving us breathless and disheveled ..wondering what the fuck just happened………….. beautiful writing….full to the brim with an emotional six pack……….b

  • butchart, this comment…simply took my breathe away. thank you.

    – mstrace

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