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ET's Mistake

Nadya Johnson

Joined January 2009

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Artist's Description

*Space Truckin’! *
In which we learn why aliens are really visiting the Earth, and where they hang out when they get here.

Short Story
(1.410 views)
Featured in DARK GIFTS
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After the brawl, there were several versions of the story. Merk, the Coordinator, claimed the guest from Stymx 9 “may have made an inappropriate remark” to Caroline McGrew but added that he’d been too far away to hear it clearly, especially over “Space Truckin” which was playing on the jukebox at the time. “These tourists ~ they dig Deep Purple, don’tcha know. That and cherry flavored vodka. Oh, and hot dogs. Yeah, they love that stuff.”

Gorff, the barkeep from J’Rada claimed he heard it but he said he saw no huge offense in the remark ~ to wit, Hey, there! What’s a pretty little thing like you doing in a joint like this? “If she’s that over-sensitive,” he said, “she’s in the wrong business, pal! Runs a bar! On top of that, she runs these tours for Tri-Galactic, Inc. Clients from a thousand systems… bound to have some rotten apples in the lot from time to time, okay? She shoulda blew it off.”

Millie Maxwell, owner of the bar, accused Gorff of lying through his teeth. She insisted the remark was “Hey, hot mama! I know Klingon! And tonight I’m gonna Kling-on you.” She added, “That was just the start. The rest of it, I won’t repeat. Worst pick-up lines in the Universe! I warned him more than once but he would not shut up.”

Either way, seconds after that the fight broke out. There were thirty-seven members in the tour-group ~ most of them became involved ~ fists flew, and so did chairs and bottles. In the end the bar was trashed, the visitor from Stymx 9 was tele-ported home (in traction), and his visa was revoked, thus preventing him from touring Earth again at any future point. It was generally conceded that he probably wouldn’t under-estimate human women anymore (not that he would have the chance).

Hearing all the noise, neighbors called the cops; but as usual, they found only Caroline and Millie in the joint, along with several regulars – all Human – hunched along the bar intent on CNN. There was no indication of a bar-brawl, nor were any aliens in sight, nor was there a whiff of smoke (of any sort). There couldn’t be . The Tourist Section was a separate room in an intermediate dimension. You could cross the space-time interface but only if you had the Tri-Galactic app; and they did not.

“Something going on in here?” they asked. “We had another call about some kind of rowe.”

“Well, look around. You can see nothing’s going on,” Millie told the cops. “These days, nothing ever happens here. I don’t know how we even stay in business, half the time. Nooooo problems, guys. One big nothing! Just another quiet night at Paddy’s Corner Bar & Grill.”

(The lesson: Be careful where you drink! There could be some Strange Creatures at the bar!)

Must be true according to this song!


(SPACE TRUCKIN’ ~ Deep Purple)


Merk (Tour Coordinator) is from Monster by Karmastock

Gorff, the barkeep (demon) from Monsters and masks by lisaolson9293

Millie (left) ~ composite (Face by from faestock)

Misbehaving alien ~ composite brush from king of my castle xn3ctz with custom face

Caroline (redhead) ~ from Velvet Bob 7 ~ falln stock

Light effects, smoke, etc., custom brushes and effects in CS2

Artwork Comments

  • Sherri     Nicholas
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