“Nicole. Nicole are you alright?” Somebody shouted
“Hum, what. What time is it. I replied with my eyes half open.
I looked up and saw my brother Gavin standing over my bed.
“Its almost 2 o’clock. I was just starting to get worried.” He said almost as if he really cared.
“Oh, sorry. I couldn’t sleep last night.”
It wasn’t a total lie.
“Come on get ready we are going to hang out at the dumster.” He said
The dumster was a local teen hang out spot. It wasn’t a dumster. But thats what we called it.
“Alright Alright, I am coming.” I said rolling out of bed, almost on to my brothers feet.
Gavin left my room, I listened for his foot steps to go stairs so I could go back to sleep.
He stepped down a couple steps, then he stopped.
“Nicole hurry up.” He yelled.
He wasn’t going to leave me alone, I could tell. I got a towel of my dresser and got in the shower. The warm water felt nice. Like i was in paradise. I got out of the shower and pulled my wet hair back into a tight pony tail. I searched in my room for a T-Shirt, which was impossiable because my room was a huge mess. I found a pair of blue jeans on the floor, that I wore a couple days ago, but they would do. I found a Lamb of God T-shirt in my pile of clean clothes. I thought for a moment. Where were my shoes.
“Gavin have you seen my blue journeys.” I yelled down the stairs.
I hand’t really seen them for the past couple of days.
“I think they are in my room.” He yelled up the stairs. “Hurry up already.”
I walked into my brothers room, his room was messier than mine. There they were my blue Journeys. What where they doing in his room? I walked down stairs and found my mom plastering the cake with topping.
“Hi mom.” I said, hoping I wouldn’t get intergated.
“Honey, did you just wake up, I think you need you beauty sleep. All those video games aren’t good for you.” She said with her tone, that tone that made me know she didn’t approve of me as her daughter. “Oh, don’t forget about that party this weekend.”
Great just what I wanted to do, go to some old people party with only two weeks of summer left.
I walked into the living room, hoping I could get away from her. I felt sorry from always trying to stay away from her but I hated her.
“You ready yet,.” I said walking into the living room. Finding Justin and Gavin on the couch.
Justin was my brother’s best friend since they were like five.
The both let of a little laugh and looked at each other
“Are we ready yet, we have been waiting for you for almost thirty minutes princess.” Justin said
“Excuse me. Well come on lets go.”I said hoping I wouldn’t have to face mom again.
“Sorry , we gotta wait for Brandon. He driving us.” Gavin said like he didn’t have any sympthy.
“Why not just walk.” I said feeling water drops hitting the back of my extended neck.
“I am going to bring my guitar so we can jam” Gavin said staring into the tv.
I went and sat down next to Justin and grazed into his eyes witch were also pondering the tv.
“Is this Trivium.”I asked not reconizing the song.
“Yea, Its there new song Down from the sky.” Justin answered me looking into my eyes.
“It is good.”
“Yea.” Justin said turing toward the TV. “I think its the best song on the Shogun album.”
A couple minutes later a car door slammed and I could hear someone walking up the creaking steps. A couple seconds later the door bell rang giving me chills. Gavin pushed hisself of the couch grabbing the remote.
He started walking towards the door. He stopped in front of the tv and pressed the off button on the remote and threw the remote on the couch almost hitting me.
“Hea I brought my guitar too, I thought we could work on that song.” Brandon said.
“Yea thats cool.” Gavin answered looking at Justin, who was there singer, well screamer.
“Nicole.” Brandon said sending the hairs on my back to stand up. " Are you coming"
“Yea, Is that alright?” I asked already knowing the answer.
“Oh, yea. Of course.” He answered trying not to make eye contact.
Gavin said something in Brandons ear. I didn’t hear what he said, probaily something smart.
I stood up and followed Gavin out the door, just as my mom started to walk into the living room.
I sat in the back of the car behind Gavin and next to Justin. I looked up at the drivers seat and right into Brandons Blonde curly hair. He was so cute. His blue eyes sparkled. He looked into the front mirror back at me. I turned my head. Hoping he didn’t know I was starting at him. I only ever had two boyfriends in my life. The first was a complete loser. I am not sure what happened to him. The other one, I still kinda had feeling fors. He moved to California last year. We dated for 9months. I meant him from my brother when I was 13 he was 15. Two months after meeting at my brothers 16th birthday party we started to date.
Brandon pulled up to the dumster. The dumster was an abandoned parking lot behind a a abandoned building. It was almost in the middle of nowwhere. Bellfonte was in the middle of Nowwhere. It was beautiful, don’t get me wrong, but it was boring. With only about 6,000 residents, things could get boring. Bellfonte was better than most of the other places I had been to. I have only been to a couple cities other than Bellfonte. I lived in Altoona intil I was nine, my dad got a job offer in Bellfonte, so we moved. I have been to state college, harrisburg, Hershey and a couple other places for school trips and stuff. I sat down on the ground by the building and watched as the guys dragged out the guitar equipment. It was quiet today only us four and a couple kissing at the end of the parking lot. The dumster was usally filled with people. I looked up from the ground to see Brandon walking towards me.
“Hea Nicole.” He said sitting next to me “Can I talk to you about something”
I thought for a second. What could he want to talk about that he couldn’t just come out and say. He was normally so sure of him self. Kinda like my brother, only Gavin confindence sometimes bugged the hell out of me.
“Sure” I said kicking a rock
“Well you know what can we talk about it over breakfast or something, just the two of us.” He said looking towards the ground, kicking a rock with his foot.
“Yea, of course.” Was this his way of asking me on a date.
“Alright tommarrow at McDonalds, I’ll pick you up.” He said finally looking at me.
“No its cool, I will walk. Can we eat lunch though 11:30. There is no way I will get there before that.” I said thinking deep about what I just said. Often what I said came out wrong.
“Yea, of course.” He said " While I guess I will see you then. Are you sure you don’t want a ride."
“I am sure. Yeah but I will see you then,”
I liked to walk places. It gave me time to think, think deeply. I didn’t get much time of that any more.
I watched as Gavin, Justin and Brandon got all the equipment ready. Gavin went to go plug his eletric guitar in when he realized there was no plug. What a loser.
“Shit, I forgot the power cord at home.” He said " I guess we can just practice with-out the extra sound"
“Sure that shouldn’t be too bad. " Brandon said.
They had the guitars out and the fake microphone out. When they starting pulling the drum stuff out when I realized Jake wasn’t here. Jake was the drummer. He was kind of stupid and in love with him self. He was cool, but I would never like him like most the girls around school did. Of course the girls at my school, and most likely most schools are kind of stupid and immature.
“Hea wheres Jake” I said, wondering if they were going to have me “pretend” to play the drums again.
“Over there” Justin said pointing the finger to to couple still kissing.
Of course. Why woudn’t it be. Jake had a different girl like every week.
“Jake.” Gavin yelled. Jake turned around from ontop of the girl with blonde hair and pink stripes and and pushed him self from the ground and started walking over to meet Gavin. The girl with pink hair, looked stunned. Like “Did he really just walk away from me like without even saying by.” She got up and shook of her clothes and started to walk over also. Only she didn’t stop and Gavin and them, she kept walking intil she got to me.
“Hi, I am Natasha.” The girl with blonde and pink hair, now I knew as Natasha said looking down at me. SHe had a streecthing voice, that was so loud it gave me a instant head ack. Why, honestly, was Jake even with this girl. She had some huge pimples and she just didn’t look like his type. I did like her hair however.
“Are you alright.” She said when I didn’t answer her.
“Oh, I am sorry, I am Nicole.”
“So which one are you dating.” She said sitting down
“What.” I said with a little laugh. “None, Gavin is my brother.”
“Oh, so so sorry.” She said getting on my nerves already. " I love Jake, and he said he loves me. I hope he will ask me to marry him."
I just wanted to laugh. Honestly the longest they could have been dating was a week. Was this girl high or something.
Moments passed and then you could hear guitar strikes. She got up and started dancing. Wow.
“So why are they even playing out here.” She asked. I wished it was just in my head.
“Becasue they have no where else to play.” I said. It wasn’t tottaly a lie. I mean ever since my dad died when I was 12 my mom didn’t approve of Gavin playing. She didn’t even buy a guitar, he had to earn it. He wasn’t aloud to play at or around the house either. That was just one of the things that my mom changed about her since my dad died. Jake house is way to small to play in. Brandons parents where in there 50s and couldn’t handle all the noise. I wasn’t sure about Justine place. I think he was just too ashamed of his parents to bring any one there. They also got a aduience here, so they knew if people liked there music or not.
“Oh sorry, why not.” She said
Gavin was supose to go to college in a couple weeks. He wanted to go to this music college in Florida, him and Brandon were going to go together. But a couple months ago when he got his acceptance letter he told me he wasn’t going because he couldn’t leave me here with mom. All alone. He said he would wait till I graduated high school to go. Even if we didn’t go to the same college, at least I could get away from mom, and he would know I was alright. I felt bad for him, that was all he thought about for four years, but I did thank him and love him. I wish there was some way he could go though.
“Who writes there songs.” Natasha asked. me screaming.
“Well they work together, I wrote like 6 of there songs. I don’t write the music behind it, but I write the words.” I said starting to wonder who this girl was. I had never seen her before. She looked Jakes age. I knew almost everyone in this stupid town.
“Oh, so cool. What are they about.” She said deciding not to shut up. “Girly things, crushes and boys.”
“Not really.” I said “There about things that mean something. Why would I write about girly things.”
She rolled her eyes like I just kinda offendered her or something. She didn’t talk to me much after that. She just kept dancing and dancing. Maybe she use to be a dancer.
After about another half an hour it got kind of boring, when no one was showing up. They loaded up all the equpiment and we had to all fit into Brandons five seater truck. Even Jake and Natasha came. I sat behind Brandon this time, Natasha sat next to me, Jake sat next to her. Brandon drove the truck and Justin sat in the front. Gavin sat in the way back with the equpiment. We stopped at Jakes house and dropped him and Natasha off. Gavin came up and sat next to me.
“Who is she any?” I questioned, hoping they would feel the same way.
“Natasha, Oh, she just moved here like two weeks ago. She is kinda wierd but Jake says she easy.” Justin answered me
" I heard her mom was on cocain when she was pregant with her." Gavin added in.
I laughed. It was funny. And it made since. I knew it wasn’t true though.
When we got to my house. Which always seemed to be the same. A white, middle sized house.
“Hea are we going to the dumster tomarrow.” Brandon asked looking at Gavin.
“Yea we could if it was cool with all of you.” Gavin said
“Yea, so just leave all the equipment in the car and I will pick you and Justin here tomarrow at 1:00 P.M.” Brandon said looking at me as if for approval.
“Yea cool dude I call Jake and tell him.” Gavin said walking towards the house.
I turned around and looked up and down the house I called home. It wasn’t home though. Not since dad died.
“Come on Nicole, you loser.” Gavin said hitting me on the back.
Justin trailed behind me.
I sat there on the couch with my feet up on the table, all nice and comftable when my mom walked in to the living room.
“Young Lady, get you shoes off my nice and neat coffee table.” My mom said
the coffee table wasn’t even clean, it was clutterred with junk, like her lighter and cigerrettes. and her coffee cups. that have been stacked up from two days ago. " You too Gavin"
“Mom. I love you and I am sorry.” Gavin said, with a look in his eyes, I knew he wanted her to go away.
“How would you dad feel if you said words like that.” Mom said turning around and walking towards the table.
Me and Gavin looked at each other and let out a small laugh. I could always count on my brother to feel the same way I did. Just one of the reason I loved him so much.
“So sis, what were you and Brandon talking about early.” Gavin said staring into the TV.
Could Gavin know that Brandon was going to ask me out. Is that what he said walking out of the door early. Did he tell Brandon that I like him or something
“I don’t know he asked me out to Breakfast at McDonalds tomarrow.” I said.
Gavin gave a little smile. Justin turned to me and looked at me disapointed or something.
“You love him, don’t you.” Gavin said laughing in my face " Nicole loves Brandon, Nicole loves Brandon"
“I do not love Brandon.. Not at all.” That was a lie. Sort of. I mean I didn’t love him, but yes I liked him a lot. I really wasn’t interested in boys. There were a couple though.
“So what time you going.” He asked coming back to earth.
“11:20 I have to be there, i am walking so I will leave about 10:50 and so I will wake up and get ready around 10:00. :” I said, hoping not to be too planed out and seem like a loser. " Sound good."
“Yes, of course, Private.”Gavin said jokinly “So you are going to get up at 10 for Brandon, wow, you must really love him.”
“Haha, funny.” I said trying not to bluff "Well I am going to go to bed so I can get up at o-ten hundred. Captain.
Gavin let out a laugh “See you loser”
I walked into my room, searching for my alarm clock, I had not had to use it since June 5. Which was the last day of school. After a couple minutes of I realized I was not going to find it and I needed to clean my room soon. I went into Gavin room and got his blue metalica alarm clock and plugged it in my room. I decided to set it for 9:45 just in case I pushed the snooze button a couple times.
I crawled into bed, my nice cozy bed. I watched the clock. Time sure was going slow. I started staring at the wallpaper on the wall. I looked at the alarm clock. 10:00. Wow, only about 12 hours.
“Hea loser, Loser wake up.”Gavin said.
“What time is it, I said looking at the alarm clock. It was only 1 am. “What do you want”
“Hea I see you took my alarm clock, I need it..”Gavin said.
“I need it too.” I said half asleep.
“Alright, well I will sleep on the floor, I will set the alarm clock to 6 am and then put it back to 9:45 after I get up.” Gavin said in a debating matter.
“Why do you need up at 6 any way.” I said
“Tom , is coming. " Gavin answered.
“Alright fine, please don’t forget to put the time back.” I said trying to go back to sleep.
Gavin laid on the floor next to me. Tom was “the supplier” as Gavin liked to put it.
“Gavin, are you still up.” I said not being able to go back to sleep.
“Yea, I am.” He said in a sootheing way.
“Do you think we will ever get out of here” I asked
“Of, course we will.” He turned to look at me. “If not because of my amazing guitar skills then because of your amazing brain. Nicole you are going places.” He thought for a second.“I promise we are going to get as far away as possiable.”
“Alright, thanks. Good night Gavin.” I said feeling better.
“Good night loser.” Gavin said.
“Blindly descending into the arms of sorrow.” I heard Gavin singing along with the alarm clock.
“Gavin whats with the song.”I asked.
“Oh sorry.” He shut the alarm clock off. " You can go back to sleep now, if you like."
“No thanks, theres no point.” I said rolling of the bed.
“Oh, ok good morning loser.” Gavin said, starting to sing again.
“Is Tom, here yet.” I asked. Wanting to see Tom. Tom was my dads best friend. But ever since my dad died. The only reason he came up here was to supply Gavin and his friends.
“Not yet, I just talked to him, he said he would be here in ten minutes.” Gavin said “And yes you can come and say hi.”
I had been asking about Tom a lot. But any time he came I would always be somewhere. A couple minutes passed of just me and my brother sitting on my bed.
“Alright lets go he should be here any minute” Gavin said standing up. “Oh and be quite are neighbor cop hears anything or sees anything he might come and check on us like that day of the party.”
“Ye-yea.” I stuttered.
We stood out there on the porch for about 15 minutes. Wow, Tom was wrong. A red car pulled up in front of our house. It almost hit my moms raggy old car. My brother started walking down the stairs. A man about 5’11 got out of the passanger seat. I didn’t recongize him. It wasn’t the Tom, I had known. He had long hair and skinnier, he was just different. But he still had that glow about him like he was you best friend.
“Nicole.” Tom yelled." Is that you Nicole. Come here and give me a hug."
I walked down and past my brother and gave this man, who was so much like my dad it was crazy, a deep long hug.
“How have you been holding up kid.” Tom asked.“I haven’t seen you in ages, is this brother of yours taking care of you.”
Tom, was the closest thing to my dad. He knew my dad like the back of his hand.
“Alright but you know, my mom and everthing it gets hard.” I answered looking into his deep blue eyes.“Yes, my brother does.”
I knew he knew what I meant. How without my dad it was hard. At least I still had my brother who looked just like my dad, only with brown hair, instead of blonde. Me and my dad were so close. I cried my self to sleep for weeks after he died. My brother tried to be a tough ass never cried at all at the funeral or in public at all. I did however catch him crying the night before the funeral. He cried for hours. I sat out side of his room, and listened. My mom cryed all the time. But after a month she changed. She wasn’t on pills or drugs but it was like she was on every drug invented. The police caught her at the grocie store the one day. They thought she was on cocain or something but she was clean.
“I have missed .” Tom said. “I really think we should have coffee or something, maybe You, Gavin, your mom and I”
As soon as he said your mom, I looked up at him. He smiled in a knowing sense.
Tom looked at my brother. “Does she smoke.”
Gavin laughed. “No, this loser is too good girl.”
“Good, you stay away from it. I don’t want you too get into that stuff. Tom said serious. " Gavin how many bags."
" 5 dimes." Gavin answered
“And just so you know I won’t be in town for the rest of this week and next.” Tom said. “Do you have enough for two weeks.”
“Yea, if not I will get that crapy stuff off of Arin for once.” Gavin said.
“Well it was nice seeing you again Nicole. and Gavin see you later dude, take good care of her, you hear me.” Tom asked
“Yes of course. Always.” Gavin hugged me.
“By tom.” I said.
Me and Gavin turned around and walked towards the house. I some how felt a little better than I did last night. I felt like I had just seen my dad again. I turned around and waved to the car leaving the block.
“Hea Nicole. can we sit out here for a while.” Gavin asked me.
“Yea sure.” I said taking a seat with Gavin.
“You know dad would be proud of you right.” Gavin said to me. Looking me straight in the eyes.
My eyes filled with tears. I loved talking about dad, but I hated cring.
“Yea I do. But you know dad would be proud of you too.” I said trying to comfort Gavin, although sometimes I needed it too.
“Nicole. Honestly you were his pride and Joy. Dad loved us with everything we had. But I am a screw up. Honestly that guitar is going to take me almost nowwhere.” I almost failed school. If it wasn’t for my guitar skills I would have never got accepted to that music school. Not like I am going any way. But Nicole you have everything. You are a straight A student, and have some mad writing skills. I just want you to know that mom loves us too. Its just that she is really upset and doesnt know how to handle dads death so she went crazy. " Gavin said
That was it tears every where. They were pouring down my face.
“Yea " I said trying to hold back the tears.
“And just so you know I love you and I will always and forever love you little sis.” Gavin said.
" I love you too Gavin." I said hugging him.
We just sat there for about ten minutes. I was crying and he was hugging me. He stood up and walked down the stairs to be almost eye level with me.
“Its almost 7, wanna go get some McDonalds breakfast. On me of course.” Gavin smiled brightly said flashing 50 dollars in my face.
“Yes sounds good” I said standing to my feet.
“Alright first I have to go put these bags away and you need to go clean up, I can’t be taking a ball baby to a public place.” Gavin said.
That was Gavin, he was so sincery but he had to joke about everything, because I guess that was the way he was. I loved that about him, though.
“Come on loser, lets go.” Gavin said slapping my back and walking towards the house.
I walked up stairs and got in the shower, not washing my hair. I felt so much better even though I had just cryed up a storm. I got out and put a towel around me and running down to the laundry room to get some clean clothes. I got dressed and walked into the Kitchen where I found my mom sleeping on the table slobbering everything.I laughed. I couldn’t help it. I walked around the house intil I found my brother, who was on his bed sleeping. I thought about waking him up, but he looked so peachful so I walked down stairs and in to my living room where i sat on the couch and watched some TV.