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Illusion of self-sufficiency
All I seek is facts.
Actual, authentic,
truthful accuracy.
I do not want to choose,
to lose myself amid
fears, nostalgia,
desires, yearnings.
I wish to learn,
request more than require,
aspire more than covet.
Fantasy to inspire whimsy,
rather than capricious
flights of fancy.
I do not want to choose
delusion over reality,
neither artifice nor trickery,
rather than daydream.
But my veneer wears thin,
my guise and outfit
are lacking, deficient,
As your absence
shreds all illusion
of self-sufficiency.
Illusion of self-sufficiency by msdebbie
Inspired by Hilary Mantel Wolf Hall – “It is the absence of facts that frightens people: the gap you open, into which they pour their fears, fantasies, desires.”
This is a v3 edit. Latest feedback included from my dear friend Sonia. Original formatting below.
Your absence;
the lack;
a deficiency.
When all I seek is
factual, actual,
authentic, truthful
accuracy.
I do not want
to choose,
to lose myself
amid fears,
desires, yearnings.
I wish to learn,
request more
than require,
aspire more
than covet,
so fantasies
inspire whimsy,
rather than
capricious flights
of fancy.
I do not want
to choose
delusion over
reality, neither
artifice nor
trickery,
rather than
daydream.
But my veneer
wears thin,
my guise
and outfit
are lacking,
deficient,
as your absence
shreds all illusion
of self-sufficiency.
I’ll defer to Anna Quindlen, of The New York Times: “People who are knowledgeable about poetry sometimes discuss it in that knowing, rather hateful way in which oenophiles talk about wine: robust, delicate, muscular. This has nothing to do with how most of us experience it, the heart coming around the corner and unexpectedly running into the mind. Of all the words that have stuck to the ribs of my soul, poetry has been the most filling.”
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Comments
Deb,
so beautifully written….this fell so wonderfully into me. xoxo
Oh Lisa – so glad! Like you, have not been writing much of late, so appreciate the kind comment xxx
– msdebbie
perseverance and focus! Well expressed.
Clarity is something I think about a lot lately – perseverance and focus are always desirable too! Thanks :D
– msdebbie
Miss Debbie, oh how true, to be true to ourselves – but it aint always easy. And when we fail, and we manage to recognize it, its o.k., too. Its a timely reminder to pick ourselves up and to be who we really are meant to be. Lovely write & lovely to see you Deb .Pace.
Hahaha Carmen – methinks you mean Peace, but I take something special from Pace regardless! The slow drawl I imagine with such rampant punctuation is a part of the reminder/message you sensed too. Ah, pacing and timing. Topics I can get right into!!!
– msdebbie
It is far easier to just state the truth than to leave the option of someone else to fill in the blanks with their own take on the situation. I think when we know where we stand we have something to work with. When we are guessing we run the risk of failing to get it right. Fear
Very cool comment Donna, totally get this! Fear is always the enemy.
– msdebbie
Fantastic work Debbie!
Thank you Leon! Been too busy to write lately, came together swiftly based on a conversation with some book club friends!
– msdebbie
Click on the banner to go straight to the permanent feature gallery.
Congratulations,
Anna, Sybille and Jenifer xox
Thanks so much Anna, Sybille and Jenifer and Team Panther for the privilege of a feature. I love so many of the love poems and images selected – really appreciate being part of them!
– msdebbie
Thanks Holly and LLD for the privilege of a feature xxx
– msdebbie
Thanks Red and AOE for the privilege of a feature xxx
– msdebbie
The quest becomes easier as life seasons the soul. It is a something that will come naturally as long as we seek it out.
Yes Donna – I agree completely! Thanks for reading xxx
– msdebbie
it’s so true isn’t it !? grief is a great leveler…we are inter-dependent all the way, however we kid ourselves…without others to mirror who we are, do we really exist at all ?…xxx
Ah, my philosophical friend! I have been absolutely levelled by grief, no doubt about it. Interdependency beats co-dependency hands down I say!
– msdebbie