For my Mum

My Mum
So softly softly spoken
A serene calm married to fiery red
Her deepest desires never awoken
Until children left home and he was dead

I am not my mother
Should I even bother
With such a virulent statement?
A toxic repudiation of her contentment?

I do not like my mother
Those teenage words I said
Little did I understand their significance
And years later, how they fill me with dread

I will not be my mother
Why not, some ask? To my reply
Because she wants more for each of her children
And I’m encouraged to soar high

Would I like to be my mother?
No, but this isn’t intended as an insult.
She has loved and raised three girls,
Lost her soulmate at 42, all without complaint.

Is my mother a saint?
Again, I reiterate, NO! Of course not!
But she has tackled adversity with grace
And my admiration of her is not a regret.

I must not become my mother
Fortunately, I live in a different time.
One where an accidental but loved pregnancy
Is not treated like a heinous crime.

I will not be my mother
Is a statement of purpose and intent.
She, like all mothers of the world,
Wants so much more for me than she had herself
And I embrace that journey of wish-fulfillment.

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My Mum had her first Christmas today without her own Mother. Tomorrow we are all coming together in Ballarat, but it has been making me think this week of the sometimes difficult way we react and respond to one of the most critical relationships we can ever have in our lives xoxo

Tags

poem, mother, love, daughter, mum

I’ll defer to Anna Quindlen, of The New York Times: “People who are knowledgeable about poetry sometimes discuss it in that knowing, rather hateful way in which oenophiles talk about wine: robust, delicate, muscular. This has nothing to do with how most of us experience it, the heart coming around the corner and unexpectedly running into the mind. Of all the words that have stuck to the ribs of my soul, poetry has been the most filling.”

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Comments

  • Trenchtownrock
    Trenchtownrockover 4 years ago

    Wonderful write for your mom my friend…I can feel the love, devotion and reality in your words…terrific piece my friend.

  • Thank you my sweet friend! I appreciate your kind comment very much xoxox

    – msdebbie

  • Fuego1
    Fuego1over 4 years ago

    Really good writing. Expressive and real.

  • Thanks very much PDF; such a kind comment xoxo

    – msdebbie

  • Anthea  Slade
    Anthea Sladeover 4 years ago

    So beautiful and deeply felt and expressed Debbie. Very real and beautiful dedication to your Mother msdebbie. I hope you have a marvelous and beautiful 2010. Thank you for your friendship and support in 2009 my friend.

  • Thank you Anthea! I also wish you a wonderful 2010 – and so look forward to all the marvelous and beautiful things which will be gained in the year to come. The friendship and encouragement of RB has made me look forward to next year in ways I haven’t for some time – your support has definitely been a part of that too, gorgeous girl xoxo

    – msdebbie

  • Arcadia Tempest
    Arcadia Tempestover 4 years ago

    We all say ’ stuff ’ to our parents along the way….I think it is part of the deal…we know we can vent but still be loved.
    Your love for her stands out….and that is really so wonderful for you and your ma xxx

  • Thank you KarenSue, oh yes, love her I do! Appreciate your kind comment so much my friend xoxo

    – msdebbie

  • masqueone
    masqueoneover 4 years ago

    Well said deb…I cannot relate to the life my mother had as a young woman. It seems like a different world, the pain and adversity she has gone through is untouchable to me…THAT is her greatest achievement. I am forever grateful. It has been my aim to protect my children from my childhood.:)) xxx

  • That is an excellent goal – good to protect children from past pain methinks. I am sure with your tender heart you are doing a good job of that too my friend xoxo

    – msdebbie

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