The First Day of the End of My Life

A thick, dark all-encompassing cloud of despair has descended on my mind, an impenetrable fog of confusion and unfounded pain permeates my thoughts, all I have held to be true and right, all the logical explanations and ethical standards which I have built my structure of self around has come crumbling down around me, leaving me standing atop a pile of disillusionment and contradiction.

The foundations of my identity and perspective have been shook to their core and as the dust of its destruction clears I can see nothing but desolation and chaos. My world has disappeared in an instant, in a moment and all that I have held to be truth and just, pure and good, has deserted me. The staff of righteousness which I have held so firmly has vanished from my hands and my moral compass spins uncontrollably in all directions.

Which direction do I turn to, which voices do I listen to, how will I find my way out of this place. My closest companions have become nothing more than muffled voices and blurred visions. The distance between us is ever increasing at such a rate that soon they will be nothing more than a distant memory, a vague collection of sounds and images.

Like a lifeless ghost I wander around trying to focus my eyes and clarify the sounds but I cannot. Truth evades me and contentment and peace are nothing but empty promises. My efforts in vain and my confusion and pain turn to rage, my fear and uncertainty becomes anger, my love turns to hate, my hate eats away at my soul and my soul begins to die. Death becomes the goal of my life and I become the living dead. Shall I live like the dead and continue my existence or shall I die to finally realise the truth of life and receive the answers to my paralysing questions, answers which escape me and the search for which has left me alone and cold in a desolate yet strangely familiar place.

The First Day of the End of My Life

MrBarista

Brisbane, Australia

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Artist's Description

Am I losing my sanity or finally awaking from comatose…

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