Minotaur Testicle Soup

Marc Grossberg

Hayward, United States

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  • Comments 7

Artist's Description

A true history, as written by Nuk the Peculiar Kobold

I’m sure you’ve wondered
what great god blundered
and made minotaurs kings of their halls
But don’t take it mirthless
they ain’t really worthless
You can make a nice soup of their balls

The ambassador came forth
to challenge the north
He bellowed, he raged, he thundered
but didn’t know what to do
when his jewels went to stew
and that’s when he realized he’d blundered

The herd off the shore
thought of honor no more
Fired from what they thought safe distance
But the sea got their bones
and our soup got their stones
which we swallowed down with persistence

Two dozen or so
set out blow by blow
the Minotaur Empire assaulted
Burned the ships and their crew
burned their damn port down too
Our soup that night was well salted

The Emperor’s heir
had not a care
no animal could do him harm
till a stab in the back
took his life and his pack
made a soup that was royal in charm

The treatment is Pax’s case
sealed the doom of the minotaur race
Let’s just say that her vengeance sufficed
The Emperor’s incision
was made with precision
the meat in our soup finely diced

The Emperor’s command
prepared its last stand
but their brains were all turned to goop
Their horns and their pride
are simmering inside
and adding their spice to our soup

So minotaur, tote ‘em
and empty your scrotum
into the bubbling pot
From the time of your birth
that’s all you’ve been worth
to make a soup, tasty and hot!

Artwork Comments

  • annieannie
  • Marc Grossberg
  • rajahbah
  • PhoenixArt
  • CDeblin
  • Marc Grossberg
  • zoequixote
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