An insidious infestation has claimed large tracts of the lawns in Holland’s public parks. The unprecedented early-February spring weather has allowed these plants to emerge from the soil where they’ve been hiding. They grow even faster than the grass, and quickly display annoying blossoms that frequently draw people’s attention away from more important things. Tests are currently being conducted to determine toxic component which causes people to succumb (see victim collapsed in bushes) mysteriously as they try to enjoy the spring grass. Early evidence suggests that women are particularly suseptible as they are drawn toward the blossoms by the OTASP syndrom (Oh They Are So Pretty). One suggestion to irradicate the infestation involves the import of very large antlered ungulates from the forests of North America… this has not been confirmed.