Maybe I need cement

You’ve laid out a rock-and-a-hard-place situation, Wendy. When the meltdown happens, one of the defining features of the depression is that there is NO faith that things will come together, that “things will work well for you”. The state of feeling helpless and hopeless is a vicious cycle… very vicious. I have had to put my faith in others: I look to Thea’s example, knowing that she did this battle about 10 years ago and has become a stronger person than she ever was; and in people like Julie who has helped gazillions of others through situations like mine, and assure me that there IS a better life ahead, even if I can’t see or feel it. I’m still near the starting point of this recovery, trying to re-create some of those pieces… I’m certainly not at the point of being able to hold them together.
Thanks tons for you comment. I certainly appreciate your understanding. There’s a huge majority out there who do not understand.
Ted

If it was all up to me, it wouldn’t happen, Sheena. I need the help of others for several reasons: I had no direction, so to have people to point me the right way has been critical. I have had to rely on others because I was reduced to being unemployable due to the syndrome of anxiety, apathy, many reduced brain functions, and self-fulfilling state of being helpless and hopeless. This was definitely a time to reach out, and I have found some wonderful people who have taken my hand for this time of need. Meeting new fun friends like you is part of the process. Thanks for being you :)

You make it sound like it’s an easy task to “bury all and start with a smooth slate”. I’m in the middle of the process, and there’s a lot of confusion, uncertainty, doubts, frustration, anxiety, upheaval, instability… I’m sure there’s more words I should include, but I’m sure you can see a pattern in that bunch. It’s not an enjoyable time, and it goes on for a long time. Thanks to people like you, I’ve had cyber friends like you to enjoy art with :)

Thanks Ann. I try to avoid being caught with deep thoughts… the world of humor is way more fun :)

Well, Jaybe, you make it sound easy, but from where I’m standing I know it’s not. I can only hope that some day I will be in your situation looking back at the low points. The fact that so many people have picked themselves up after being down and out, as you apparently have done, is one of very few things that is some assurance to me that things DO get better. Thanks for the input.
Ted

Thanks, Joanne… I’m glad you understand, though I’m not glad that you are a victim of depression. It’s an ugly affliction.