I found myself wondering around the garden of a dilapidated mansion with an empty swimming pool overgrown with plants and weeds, a scene straight out of “Sunset Boulevard”, where Norma Desmond and Max buried their celebrity chimp. I walked up to the entrance like I was on a tightrope over hell and spotted a ghostly figure of a girl in a tutu with a magnificent headdress. She stretched up to ring the doorbell just like Alice when she was two inches tall. However the door creaked open of its own accord to let her in and then swung behind her with a disconcerting, definitive clang.
The mansion was cluttered with bric a brac, antiques, antiquated books and a giant painting depicting “The Battle Of Hastings” hanging precariously from the wall. I caught sight of the girl again and began to pursue her through the long corridors with multiple doors on either side. The girl was playing a game of hide and seek, you could see her skin had that sugar-almond, one hundred per cent max factor look and wore what I assumed was a wig due to the unnatural precision of her ringlets.
Each room was a Pantages, a Alhambrah or a Majestic, the gilded cinema palaces of Hollywood’s golden age. I grew tired of the relentless chase for the girl and began to explore the mesmerising interiors. There was a planetarium, a bowling alley in a basement and turrets with Islamic décor much like the interior of a Genie’s bottle padded with a pin-cushioned upholstery and abstract design covering the walls.
I let my feet do all the thinking and followed them down to a spiral staircase to a network of caves and catacombs. One of the caves led to a bedroom which must have been the bedroom belonging to the girl. As I opened the door, the girl appeared startled not by my presence but the appearance of two hoodwinked figures in black coats swaying from side to side. The girl escapes under her bed but the hoodwinked figures pulled her out using a protracted broom and began to torture her. Then it was my turn. I could not turn back, the door had gone and my feet felt they had been nailed to the floor.
One of the figures pushed me onto the bed and tore off my dress and began to fondle me while the other identical figure made magical gestures. The other took his turn at violating me. He then produced a rather large heavy sword and began to insert it. The pain was so excruciating…..so excruciating that I died and went to Heaven.
But “Heaven” was back at the old mansion again and as I looked down at my hands….they were little.
Not everything seems what it seems….