A Mo-n-day landed on the 18th day of June in TWOZEROZEROSEVEN
May 22 – June 21
You could be involved in some sort of conflict. I say ‘could be’ because the days nearly over and whatever was going to happen to you today probably already has happened. This could expose me as a sham… which would be bad for business. Were you involved in a conflict? Was I right? Is this microphone even on???
Jan 21 – Feb 19
Emotion may interrupt your normally calm façade. This could interfere with the robot you are building in the basement. There is nothing worse than a blubbery robot engineer. Harden up… the future is depending on you!
Feb 20 – Mar 20
You may feel a little on edge today. Perhaps even a little paranoid. That’s right, they’re on to you. They know everything. Forensic science is the real winner here. Plus you dropped your wallet with all your information in it at the crime scene when you jumped the counter like a little girl. Do not pass go and all that good stuff….
Mar 21 – Apr 20
You are in real danger of confusing love with lust today. Do not let your views get distorted. Instead muster as much prescription medication, yours or otherwise, and play the old ‘if it looks like candy than it must be candy’ game. While you’re waiting for the big rush, see how much straight spirits you can neck before the big one. After you’re sure you won’t confuse lust with love, go operate some heavy machinery. Go on, you know you can do it.
Apr 21 – May 21
The moon is greatly affecting you today, making it hard to concentrate on the immediate things at hand. Find yourself an Aquarian, most likely he’ll work at a service station late at night after spending the day looking for discarded car parts, and see if he can add a ‘moon destroying’ laser to the robot he is building. Be careful though, apparently he’s a little blubbery today.
Jun 22 – Jul 22
Remember all those years ago when you had that really good week when everything just seemed to fall into place?? That was because you were in a Saturn Pattern with the planets. It even rhymes so you know its true.. Saturn Pattern. Unfortunately that kind of thing only happens once every 150 years, so that week that seemed like it was the best week of your life… actually was. Sucks to be you.
Jul 23 – Aug 23
Today all you seem to want to do is ponder the smaller things in life and reconnect with your spiritual side. This will probably lead to a day of daydreaming. Which is a shame because being a Leo, you’re most likely a bus driver or in charge of a military weapon system where constant concentration is paramount. Lousy hippie.
GOLD-plated/once carried/Hussein/eye-catching/permanent/ubiquitous/golden gun…
NAMED the man/Victoria/motorcyclemotorcycle/opened fire/despite the efforts/taxi by her hair/hot wounds/at the heart/Barcode/block away/No.1 investigation…
PRISONERS/intimate relationship violence/cannabis-cannabis/relatively stable/figures showed/detainees had grown…
*The Birthdays – TODAY ONLY *
Live girls! Partially conscious!!
Paul McCartney 1942
Isabella Rossellini 1952
Tom Bailey (The Thompson Twins) 1957
Nathan Morris (Boyz II Men) 1971
*WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING…..
Nothing interesting happened today in History….
Napoleon lost a fight then built a bridge…
Two Yankees had a glove fight…
Someone made a new stamp…
A mobster nicknamed Lucky went to jail for the rest of his life…
Walt Disney bought something off of the internet.. probably from eBay… the company I mean.. not the actual Walt.. which would be weird…
Someone else made another stamp…
See… I told you…
1967 – The Jimi Hendrix Experience made its debut performance at the Monterey Pop Festival in California.
1977 – Johnny Rotten (Sex Pistols) was slashed on his face and hands by some kids armed with knives.
1987 – A woman sued Motley Crue for $5,000 claiming that she lost her hearing because a concert was too loud.
1998 – David Cassidy began selling a two-CD set exclusively on the cable TV shopping network QVC.