Delusion - desperation

she was scared stiff
description of her inner vision
her eyes possessed by dark
the shadows lengthened as the sun went down.
the colours spread in the part of the sky
She has convinced herself that she is possessed by the lost
She stressed the need for constant vigilance

she was trembling
walking on the sandy shore
silence reigned
For a while, chaos and confusion reigned.
odyssey of chaos
a personal pain that goes beyond description
A deep sense of despair overwhelmed her
depiction of the failing shadows
this incident coloured her whole life

She didn’t let him judgement be coloured by her personal feelings
she closed her eyes tightly in a vain attempt to hold back the tears
she knocked loudly in the vain hope that someone might answer
but all in vain the dreamland was far from her throne a long way was her destiny
she though,her emptiness was all her fortune
her headless soul is uttered a cry of despair
the depths of despair
under her endless wrath
To her immense relief, she didn’t notice her mistake
A fear was lurking just below the surface of her mind

was she ever growing to the stars?
She prayed silently
she was entering into the eternal dawn?

she was lurking in the faceless eyes
The dreams were sailing cast a shadow on the eye’s ocean
Dreams in silent memory
her eyes reveal hidden depths
she had seen all her dreams turn to ashes
dream were cremated
black volcanic ash
The mind was reduced to ashes in the fighting
Colour flooded her face when she thought of what had happened
her face was drained of colour
She wanted her ashes to be scattered at sea
she wore, sackcloth and ashes
her faded memories scarred asked herself
Is Everything lost?
she felt herself to failed catastrophically
The shadows lengthened as the sun went down
she knew, she can’t spend all her life chasing shadows.
The rain poured down
and she felt the chamber of her mind
full of picture all he left
A constant darkness coating her
she found her life very obscure
for some obscure reason, She failed to turn up
an overwhelming sense of loss
obscuring all her days
she had the almost overwhelming desire to tell him the truth
he’s gone
A shadow fell across her face, obscuring her expression
She was so much in love with him
and they fell in love with each other
All her friends could hear wedding bells
She looked beautiful on her wedding day
they thought she had married beneath her
they were madly in love
their love grew with the years.
And now all of his love faded
she still hoped to salvage something from the wreck of their marriage
She spread her arms and the child ran towards her
she desperately wanted a child
’’You like children a lot.’‘
’’Yeah, I do.’‘
’’And you don’t want them!”’‘
’’No’’
She looked at him in amazement.
’’But I would love to have them’‘
’’I know.’‘
’’you have had children?’‘
’’ No, I don’t want to have them’‘
’’Why not?’‘Her voice fell to a whisper
’’Just No’‘
’’But why?’‘she took a deep breath, desperately trying to keep calm
’’Why you want kids then?’’ He threw the question back at her
’’cause I think the children are in desperate need of love and attention.’‘
I got used to his long silences
’’And I know one thing the child serves as a bridge between ancient love and relation.’‘
’’because you are thinking.” He met her gaze
she silently heard with much of what he had said
she found herself in conflict with him over their future relationships
’’Children are a way of building bridges between love.’‘
a moment’s stunned silence
’’Well, time to love you and leave you.’‘
His face was deep in shadow, turned away from her
there is a conspiracy of silence about what is happening
there was absolute silence
and his footsteps echoed in the silence

She waited in vain for him to return
All her efforts were in vain
and one day someone told her, ’’Did you hear he’s dumped his girlfriend?’‘
she said,’‘No.’‘tear was falling
What manner of man could do such a terrible thing? His manner was friendly
’’How can you live in this dump?’‘

the change of season, it undermines her core
her confidence in the life has been seriously undermined by her recent defeats
Recent changes have undermined her’ morale
she was trying to reach the end
he has gone, she still felt empty
she hadn’t any clairvoyance
her life seemed empty without him
the book of her life fell open at a page of illustrations
words that were empty of meaning
her heart was broken
and it can’t be cured
soul was empty
and was falling down
Such night
the torments of the damned
never ends
Clairvoyants weeping silently
The life had fallen silent
Despair blind her
her mind sheered away from images she did not wish to dwell on
she heard sounds of a desperate struggle in the next room of her heart
a desperate bid for alive
she cannot see him, no more…
she knew, the path grew steeper as we climbed higher
she only agreed out of sheer desperation
Doubts that had been submerged in her mind suddenly resurfaced
desperation here with the branch just clinging there with the water rushing past
The consecution is lying in her hand

she clung to the edge in a desperate attempt to save herself
she was fighting a desperate battle to save the little hope’s life
she took a deep breath, desperately trying to keep calm
the patient is depressed and worried by unnecessary fears
Let her, by way of illustration
illustration of desperation
melancholia
she had one last hope to cling on to
survivors clinging to a raft
salvation
she tugged the door open
floating
Rubbish of all sorts is washed up on the shore
she was the branch that was holding ground with desperation
Was the branch real or just a hallucination?
she knew the hidden drifts in that part of the ocean
and it were used to shore up all sort of debris on the sandy beach
she was asking to herself what brought her to that shore?

she set off along the cliff path
she couldn’t catch drift of life?
Did he catch her drift?
that we can hope to grow beyond our own meager lifetime
she has war between heart and mind
war from the glorification of the conflict through to the desperation that it brought

conflict between body and soul
inner conflict
life bad behaviour was just an isolated incident
One particular incident sticks in her mind
had feared from separation to desperation
Oh, could you tell her what made her fell that way?
The demonstration passed off without incident
she tore the page out roughly, leaving a ragged edge in the book of life

There was no denying the fact that quicker action could have
saved her
she was eternally ride into the shadows of that water, creating her dimensions and tears from her tideless seas
The beast within, the warm breath of her inner demons
she didn’t go getting delusions of grandeur
she was so desperate for love she would has done anything
she was suffering from paranoid delusions and hallucinations
Love can be nothing but a delusion
corrosion of the last delusion
she was desperate for alive
the depth of the love
she was in the depths of despair
There were no solution
she feels to has retreated into a world of fear and delusion
there was a constant streaming
she felt, he was the source of the life
and he left behind
she can’t hold of him again
he will not come to rescue her
Now
it is just, a desperate battle
in her heart and mind
desperation to desperation

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Tags:

chaos, children, cure, darkness, delusion, desperation, love, mishaal, shadow, sky, vision and writing