Formerly I was a sinner who knew not The Righteousness of my Lord Jesus Christ. Formerly I was a cutter who profaned the flesh of my Lord, as my body is not my own. How to tell of His Grace, and the Mercy He has had on me. I was a woman, a child who grew up in torments of demons. I don’t know if I was ever demon possessed, but I can tell you that demons harassed me in my sleep. I can write to you, that demons did try to possess me, as this is a most harrowing memory to me. I can testify to The Glory and Mercy and Love of Jesus Christ.
I was a child of divorce, a child who was enslaved to tormening thoughts and feelings. This brought me to the brink of a madness, a suicidal heart that my Lord Jesus has healed. The only way I knew then was to put cuts upon my body, to cause hurt to myself. The twisted words of satan convinced me that I would be healing myself with every scar that formed. (Or at least my heart told myself that.) I had a heart back then that was dead, I know now from sin, but there was a very real death inside of me then. I just didn’t feel alive. If ever there were such a thing as a zombie, it was I. I needed pain, the suffering of wounds that took the suffering inside away. I needed to punish myself, absolve myself of my worthlessness. But I know now, my Worth comes from my Lord Jesus and not myself. But the twisted words of the devil, made me believe it so profoundly as truth back then.
My Lord has told me, as He told the demon possessed man in Mark 5, the man from the Gadarenes, tell the world of My Glory, and tell of My Lovingkindness. So, I testify to you today, that Jesus Christ is the One who has healed me. He healed me for His Glory, for His Purposes, He separated me from the addictions of sin, to tell of His Love and His Mercy. He told me the way He told the adulteress, “Go and sin no more!” He has had compassion upon me, when the devil came to accuse me, and said, “Stone her! Stone that filthy little liar and whore, and cutter!” Stone that whore so bereaved. I have gotten her to cut herself, to destroy herself! She is not worthy of You! The demons spewed venom. "Give her to us!, they squeeled, dancing around me. She belongs to us, for the cutting. They did attempt to gain entrance into my mind, the squeezing I felt upon my mind, the chains, and the loss of my mind’s voice! I cried out to my Sweet Jesus. “JESUS!” JESUS!" Before I knew it, the vicious demons were freed from my mind, and the roughness of my mind, the sharp darts, the squeezing pressure was released. Tears flowed down my cheeks, amazed, and so grateful. The demonic assualt was ended. I sit at His Feet.
The cuttings were horrific and painful, afterwards, blood dripping down my arms, knees, thighs, and feet. The devil had lied to me. “How do you pay for a sin of the flesh? With the flesh!” I believed it back then. To cause myself harm was what I deserved. But I know now, I have a Loving Savior Jesus Christ who took the stripes for me, so I wouldn’t have to take them for myself. Satan, that old dragon twisted the Scriptures to make me believe that I had to punish myself. This was a deliberate scheme, a machination on satan’s part to destroy me. I was a shipwrecked soul, filled with scars. I cannot tell you how many tears and misery were attached to all of the wounds. But my Messiah Jesus forgave me, of the corruption of my flesh. He looks upon me as beautiful. I cannot tell you, how He has healed me, though I make a feeble attempt to try. Yes, there were men in the old days. I tried to find love in the wrong way. I did things I am not proud of. I was what all of us were. Fornicators and liars, haters of God, hater of myself. But there is a Glory, a Majesty in The Love of Jesus Christ, that just doesn’t say, “I told you so!” “There was no condemnation, of name calling, of calling me what I was.” There was only a Loving Hand that said, “Come!” He lifted me up out of the dark, deep pit I was born into. He lifted me to show me His Mercy Seat. He lifted me to show me the curse He became, so I wouldn’t have to die under the curse. He is Glorious!
I became a daughter of Jerusalem. I was clothed in the Robe of Christ’s Righteousness. When formerly I was under a death sentence. When formerly I was on death row, with the rest of the world. We are all tattooed with the numbers of the prisoner. The world is really a prison, and we are all waiting to die. He came to save us from death. He came to bring many sons and daughters to Glory! He came to break the power of sin! I am delivered from The Kingdom of darkness today! God did not leave me in the mire of the pigs. He is not going to clean me up tomorrow! HE is cleaning me up today. I am being cleansed daily, hourly, even by The Precious Blood of The Lamb, by The Blood of Jesus Christ! His Blood ran down that rugged Cross, down that instrument of torture to save the sinners, to save the sons and daughters of Adam and Eve. He came so that I may have life, and have it more abundantly! How well we know that Scripture, John 10:10, but do we actually believe it?
I was redeemed to testify of The Goodness of God. I was saved to tell you about The Gospel of Jesus Christ! I am living to tell you about The Mercy Seat. I am writing to tell you that the devil is a liar! God has healed me to tell you that the power of sin has been broken. We do not have to sin. The Resurrection Power of Christ is inside of us, to squelch the power of sin. The Holy Spirit speaks His Righteousness. The Holy Spirit gives us The Righteousness of Jesus Christ. We are formerly sinners, who lived for sin. But no more we are sinners saved by The Awesome Grace of God. Sinners redeemed by The Blood of Jesus Christ! We do not live for sin, we live for The Righteouness of Jesus Christ. If we sin, we have the Mercy Seat, we have an Advocator, we have The Blood of Jesus who gives us The Gift and The Power of Repentance. We do not have to stay under the power of sin.
I write this to you today. God saved me to testify of His Glory! He saved me from the power of darkness and death and sin. God is Good! He didn’t leave me to practice sin and then go to a church to cover it up. I am a Living Stone, a member of The Body of Jesus Christ. We are The Church! We are The Body of Jesus Christ! We are indwelt with The Holy Spirit! The Comforter has come! We are not religious! God did not raise up Jesus Christ from the dead to leave us in our sins!
Formerly I was a cutter and a sinner who practiced sin.
Every bit of Glory goes to my Father, God. Every bit goes to my Lord Jesus. Every bit goes to The Holy Spirit. None goes to me. He lifted me out of the pit, and saved me.
And you shall now The Truth, and The Truth, shall make you free."
Every bit of Glory goes to God. Every bit goes to my Lord Jesus. Every bit goes to The Holy Spirit. None goes to me. He lifted me out of the pit, and saved me.