Ghost inside me

to the part of me that died
there are days I want to crawl into
that hole with you
when I lay in bed looking up
wondering “Why Lord?”
and I sit winded up,
that razor so fixed in my
grasp
in a thousand scratches,
“I’ll let you go.”

to the part that chose
to exit quietly
out of the wound
I hide
I say, “It won’t be much
longer.”

I’m making out a will,
getting things all
straightened out
saying my “good-byes,”
and no more “hellos”

to the part of that flesh
lopped off from gangrene
I still search for you
I know you still
you will always be
apart of me
others tell me God
wants me healed
but He walks by,
as I lay, my eyes
looking up in prayers
to Him
“A little while longer He says.”

to the part of me that can’t get up
I let you lay in bed,
the ghost in me
that haunts me
and makes negative remarks
all the time,
sneers when people try and cheer
me up with their lies,
well, the ghost says, “They are lies.”
I made a quiet requiem in my
heart for you

sleep tight,
we will soon embrace,
when Emma’s grown up
a bit more,
then we will reunite
the zombie that stands
behind the razor fence
with black circles dancing
wreath like around
gloomy gazes
with my friends
in striped pajamas
now hidden away in
history books

“I’ll come collect you
liberate you
and cut you loose
from your pain
That’s something God
says to me.”

copyright2010misfit1965

Ghost inside me

Matty B. Duran

Fresno, United States

  • Artist
    Notes

Artist's Description

A thought.

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