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After I've shredded Christ's Precious Flesh

After I’ve shredded Christ’s precious flesh
Then I hear satan’s laughter
My legs were the battlefield of the ages
The scratches were against my Lord
with every drag of the razor
the skin I should have valued
has died on me
But He died for me
I didn’t need to bleed
I didn’t have to tear at my sins
like that

After I’ve shredded Christ’s precious flesh
sixty demons have been run off
when I’ve cried “Abba”
His tears wash out my wounds
what is the reason for this flood
of violence that has no reason
but instinctual mourning
that goes back to the Baal
worshippers, ripping at their
bodies to get the attention
of some demon
then Elijah cried out
to the Almighty,

After I’ve shredded Christ’s precious flesh
thousands of needles stab at me
and the legs the Lord meant
for spreading the gospel
is swaddled in bloody
I should have praised
with Paul and Silas in the jail
cell in the darkness of that

After I’ve shredded Christ’s precious flesh
why would I take the whip to His back again
and open Him up
simply for a demonic urge
I needed to take up the sword
of the Word
battled those same devils
that mocked my Christ
so long ago,

After I’ve shredded Christ’s precious flesh
the cuts have scarred Jesus again
and I look upon the damaged tissue
an expression of fallen mankind
which knows not what it does
without the Good Shepherd
to lead him in the paths of
and God takes the wounded
lamb upon His shoulders

After I’ve shredded Christ’s precious flesh


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After I've shredded Christ's Precious Flesh by 

“But He was wounded for our
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisment for our peace was upon
And by His Stripes we are healed.”
(Isaiah 53:5)

I often wonder after the hundreds of times I had cut my body over the years what I should have done knowing that all I had to do was turn to Christ to prevent my suffering. I suffer from a mental illness, and often the depression fuels my cutting. I have to let the Lord Jesus Christ rule my life, and become master over my urges to cut.

I am a servant of The Lord Jesus Christ. He is my Saviour and Lord. I am also a Christian mother who loves The Lord Jesus Christ. My writings are for His Glory. i belong to Him, and it is for Him, that i live. I honor the life God has created.

Exalt The Lord our God,
And worship at His footstool-
He is Holy!
(Psalm 99:5)
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  • EllEssDee
    EllEssDeeover 4 years ago

    Powerful words coming from a truly brave heart.I take my hat off to you for having the courage to put these words into the ether.You do yourself a great service by standing up and being counted in this way,by bringing into the light things that could just grow in the darkness.I have so much respect for you in the way that you have tried to look into the whys and wherefores of your problem and I hope and pray that each time you bring these things to the foot of the cross you are able to leave them there and claim the forgiveness that is freely offered to you.We are not told that we have to never sin again when we repent but that we have to want to never sin in that way again.I have never had a problem in this sphere of life but I have my own problems and have experienced my own dark roads.When I fall I have learnt to pick my self up as soon as I can and go to the cross for forgiveness.It can be a long learning process that brings freedom but it is always worth the journey.I wish you well on your journey and look forward to the time that I can meet you in heaven with both of us in our new perfect bodies.Lee.

  • Lee,
    You enourgage my heart. Thank-you so much for your words of inspiration. You are a wonderful human being Lee. You are a blessing to me, and I am sure to all who know you.

    – Matty B. Duran

  • Ushna Sardar
    Ushna Sardarover 4 years ago

  • Thank-you very much for the honour of your feature. TO GOD BE ALL THE GLORY!!!! matty

    – Matty B. Duran

  • Maree Cardinale
    Maree Cardinaleover 3 years ago

    This is a powerful and honest poem.
    I’m so glad for you that you no longer live out this kind of hellish ritual.
    As a work of art this is amazing work!
    Maree x

  • Thank-you Maree. I have been blessed and healed by my Lord Jesus. I can take no credit that I have stopped cutting. It took years, but I finally just surrendered all to Jesus. Thank-you very much for your kind comments. May The Lord Jesus Christ bless you and keep you safe. In Jesus, my Lord matty

    – Matty B. Duran

  • Charldia
    Charldiaalmost 3 years ago

    Wonderful and powerful

  • Thank-you for your generous comment Charldia! May God bless you! TO THE LORD JESUS CHRIST BE ALL THE GLORY NOW AND FOREVER!!

    – Matty B. Duran

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