The Sunday Roast

Author: Miri
Word Count: 215
previous browse writing next

The Sunday Roast

For Star Twisters 19, prompt is Bird

The Sunday Roast belongs to the following groups:

Twisted Tales

She ran her fingers over clammy bumpy skin. It felt as dead as it looked. Sighing she reached for the jar. She hated Sundays, hated the big family roast, hated that she was forced to eat a dead animal, hated the inevitable arguments with her parents and squabbles with her brothers.

She dipped her fingers in her mother’s special goo, and with a slight grimace, started to smooth it over the little plucked bumps. Her mother always said this was the most important bit.

Moisture is everything, young lady, and don’t you forget it!

Finishing up quickly, she washed her hands and caught a glimpse of her reflection.

Not too bad…nice smile…no spots….a bit thin but curves are starting to show..

Next came the stuffing. She piled it in. It had to be tight and solid. She couldn’t have it falling out. Satisfied, she deftly finished trussing and snipping, and then glanced at the clock. Just gone one pm. She’d give it till quarter past.

She sat down on the edge of the bath, idly fingering her new hair style and wondered what she’d get roasted for first. Being late for lunch? Or for tarting herself up with her mother’s epilator and new push up bra?

PJ Ryan

LOL!

you clever girl – this is fabulous !!
Miri replied

hahaha glad you like it!! thanks so much, i think i write these to make myself giggle!!
Matthew Dalton

Ah that’s great! You made me laugh – partly from relief! I’m afraid I feared much worse.

“Roasted” Hehe.
Miri replied

thanks very much, i think i write these to make myself giggle, i find serious ones so difficult!!

so do tell – what did you think was going to happen? that’s interesting….
jcmontgomery

I love how you twisted the entire story, not just the end. This is great!
Miri replied

thanks very much, i was giggling quietly to myself as i thought of a teenager like a chicken!!
MillicentMorrow

hahahahaha so clever…the stuffing, couldn’t have it falling out. Very, very clever.
Miri replied

thanks so much, it did make me giggle which is always a good thing in the afternoon!!
Maximus

Oh you touch my memory of fear & dread at what I’d get hit for. sorry :)
Miri replied

oh i’m sorry, that’s completley unintentional! it’s just a bit of fun really. thanks for having a read :-)
Matthew Dalton

My first thought was that it would be a human roast.

They were going to have a nice leg of leg!
Miri replied

hahahaha!!! now that’s brilliant…i obviously wasn’t quite evil enough this week!!!
Matthew Dalton

Frankly I think the body count is already sufficient this week!
Alison Pearce

Fabulous twist Bex!! Great take on the challenge!
Miri replied

thanks very much Alison, a dead chicken was the first thing that came to mind for some reason!!
dirtman

Oh, very clever! And well written too; I think you got a lot of characterisation into very few words. (I confess I thought it was going to turn out to be Roast Mum too…maybe it’s a boy thing.)
Miri replied

hahaha thanks very much! do you know, nothing like that crossed my mind…isn’t it funny what people see!!
anya

I think I guessed it when you started talking about plucked skin! Love it! The trussing with the bra is sublime, and exactly how it feels…
Miri replied

yeah, that was the hard bit, i did wonder if ‘plucked’ gave too much away (maybe to women!), thanks very much!
lightsmith

LOL. I didn’t pick it…... ‘Next came the stuffing. She piled it in. It had to be tight and solid’ ... brilliant.
Miri replied

hahaha thanks very much! well it can’t fall out can it LOL!!!
Cathryn Swanson

Yes, very good Miri.
No it can’t fall out!!haha. (I have a poem about that, hehe)
Miri replied

thanks very much Chanel, fortunately i’ve never really experienced the joys of padding, far too much of the natural stuff ;-)!!
Debbie Irwin

Wonderful and unexpected! I love it!!
Miri replied

thanks very much Debbie, it did make me giggle!
Banalheed

You see, I’m a bloke…I had to read a few times to get what was going on. But that doesn’t change the fact it’s extremely well executed and, as expected, well written.
Miri replied

hahaha well try waxing your chest & see how you feel!! thanks very much :-)
Holly Ringland

bex! this made me roar with glee… so clever and fabulous twist. well done you.
Miri replied

thanks very much, it’s nice to make people smile :-)
Flic Manning

This is very cool – I enjoyed reading this.
Miri replied

thanks very much Flic! appreciate it!