It's Just Not Cricket!

Author: Miri
Word Count: 229
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It's Just Not Cricket!

For Star Twister 14 Box

It's Just Not Cricket! belongs to the following groups:

Short stories - Spherical Scriptings, Twisted Tales and WMG

Fred grinned as Norm stepped up to bat. The annual septegenarian cricket match was off to a great start with Lark’s Retirement Home already bowling out three of Bayview Independent Living’s players.

Fred was determined to win by a bigger margin this time. Last year they had just scraped through after losing their star player to a broken hip. Mind you, his cane had snapped in a suspiciously neat line, and Norm had been seen with a Stanley knife earlier that day.

Fred supposed it was only fair, as the year before, the only runs managed by the Bayview team were the messy ones from the cucumber sandwiches laced with laxatives.

But no jokes this year. This year they’d win or lose with sportsmanship and embrace the spirit of cricket. After all, they’d promised their wives.

Doris watched fondly as Fred polished the ball, streaking red across his groin. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Evie with her fingers crossed looking at Norm.

Abruptly Fred’s hand stilled and a peculiar look passed over this face. He started shifting his hips trying to relieve the sudden confines of his box. At the same time Norm dropped his bat and dug into his trousers, frantically rubbing his crotch.

Doris and Evie nodded to each other. Viagra and itching powder, that would teach them!

becteri

OH MY GOD! lol I love the twist! Great Job!
Miri replied

thanks very much, it made me giggle!
jcmontgomery

ROFLMAO. Bows down to Bex’s cleverness.
Well done!
Miri replied

hahaha! thanks very much, glad it made you laugh, oh the images in my head this morning LOL!
MuscularTeeth

hahahahaha ! classic.
Miri replied

thankyou! glad it made you laugh…it made me giggle to write it!!
MuscularTeeth

i LOOOVE when your laughing madly while creating something. ive done that once in a while and its truly magical.
mrcool

LMAO !! oh god” I pitty the next team that plays against them !!! :) Viagra & itching powder LOL the poor guys wouldn’t know what to grab first LOL. RIPPER Mirri !!
Miri replied

thanks Mr Cool! it really made me giggle, the images in my head this morning!!
Damian

LOL, cool work :)
The lengths they’d gone to for the cricket!
Miri replied

haha thanks! yes, don’t really understand it myself!
mrcool

it beats the shit out of BODY LINE LOL.
Miri replied

i had to look that up! not really knowing much about cricket (i know, heinous crime saying that in Oz!) but yes it does!!
Bob Fox

Very funny!
Miri replied

thankyou, i have images of 70 yr old’s bits now & they need to leave my head LOL!!
Bob Fox

I don’t know— you’ve got some humorous insights— maybe do a series based on each week’s prompts. Could be really funny!
Miri replied

thanks very much, that’s really nice of you to say…this group is great because i never knew i could write like this until i tried…that’s what i love about RB! trying new stuff!!
Debbie Irwin

OMG that is hilarious! Good show :)
Miri replied

thanks Debbie, glad it made you giggle! you wouldn’t believe the images in my head this morning!
Alison Pearce

LOL!!! Fantastic!
Miri replied

thanks Alison, glad it made you laugh, it still makes me smile thinking of aging cricketers with itchy bits!!
Maximus

Bloody marvellous. :)
Miri replied

thanks very much! appreciate you dropping by with kind comments!
filfil

Yup, that’s some real sportsmanship there. Totally unexpected twist!
Miri replied

thanks very much, i now need to get old men’s boxes out of my head LOL!
Cathryn Swanson

Haha, good one Miri :0
Miri replied

thanks Chanel, glad it made you giggle :-)!
anya

Great story Miri. I like the added virtue of the finger crossing by one of the wives.
Miri replied

thanks Anya, glad you liked it! was fun to write!
Alix Purcell

Well done Bex! Sooo funny. Never saw it coming and about died reading it… those women are witches :) – A
Miri replied

thanks Alix, glad it worked & made you giggle! they are evil aren’t they ;-)
Zolton

Ha ha. Good one, Miri. Ha ha ha! Cucumber sandwiches?
Miri replied

thanks Zolton! glad it made you giggle!
Cucumber sandwiches are a sort of posh English thing for cricket matches & cream teas!!!
Zolton

Well I usually eat cucumbers in tortillas, so that sounds great! Not, however, with the laxatives. That can be left out. Ha ha.
Miri replied

without the laxatives!
Zolton

Thank you! Sounds delicious. This guy is a little concerned though. I don’t think he like cream cheese!
Miri replied

hahaha!! do you know i think that they are actually eaten in Japan!!