onetothrefofivsisnineten... onetothrefofivsisnineten...

monsters used to creep out from under my bed every night
and i used to count
onetothrefofivsisnineten…
onetothrefofivsisnineten…

again and again
and again until i fell asleep and couldn’t see them anymore
i knew they’d moved to my neighbor lisa’s room
because she’s older and didn’t turn her lights out
until i fell asleep

sweet potatoes almost ready in mom’s oven
i could smell their skin lightly browned and crispy
i’d turn my day dream off
and used to count
onetothrefofivsisnineten…
onetothrefofivsisnineten…

again and again
and again until the (((( ding )))) from the oven
i swear i used to think brown sugar and teriyaki sauce
came from mom’s sweet potatoes

that same mom’s oven
i blew it up when i was eighteen
and of course i counted as fastest as i could
onetothrefofivsisnineten…
onetothrefofivsisnineten…

as i was driven to the emergency room
with second degree burn on my entire face
and pretended the smell of my hair burnt
was that of mom’s sweet potatoes

every evening
as i hunched at the sink with soap
lathered up two inches thick over my face
i used to count
onetothrefofivsisnineten…
onetothrefofivsisnineten…

over and over and over
i’d looked up at the mirror
through the thick of the lather
surely i used to see her… it…
standing there behind me
just to scare me
and i counted even faster
faster than ever

i also counted
onetothrefofivsisnineten…
onetothrefofivsisnineten…

when i sat over a nacho plate
fancy with salsa and cheese and jalapeño slices
facing gorgeous peter of the twins
whom every girl dreamed to date
he stared into my eyes with no word to say
i wonder now what he was thinking
i stared at his mouth chewing jalapeño slices
thinking wow~ those gorgeous lips
and wondering what square footage
the empty space behind that beautiful face’d be
i wonder now if i chewed as fast as i counted

i used to count
because i made myself believe
that if i counted fast enough
the time would catch up to the beat of my count
and the seconds would go by faster
the segment of the events would be over sooner

that was then
i stopped counting as i became older
i thought

the other day i found you in my memories
the segment that is filled with autumn and winter
and i counted
onetothrfonineten…
onetothrfonineten…

repeat
skipped five through eight entirely
repeat
repeat

and repeated

then i realized that counting stopped working
may be it never worked
may be it never will

  • cathrinedp

    cathrinedp

    I count too!!! I so can relate to this Mimi. And like you, as I grew older, my counting became less and less :-p Wonderfully written xxx

  • mimi yoon replied

    so you have a mild case of ocd as well, cat?
    that’s so sweet… i think it’s cute as long as is not serious… and i’m glad i’m not all alone… i never counted beyond ten though with unpleasant situations… 1 through 10 then repeated over and over as fast as i can ;P
    thank you cat… so much… xxxxx

  • silverstrummer -  David Everitt

    silverstrummer...

    Wow mimi I started to read this and yes I thought another childrens fear of night-time dreams ….. I can understand that you counted so fast too under those circumstances…........... then the Explosion of your mums oven bless how awful and the pain must have been most severe …. we all cringe if we burn our fingers.I feel that you are a very brave person and have dealt with the pain within…............ I hope you don’t have to count anymore!
    So no more to say but such Beautiful writing from such a Beautiful person …....... – David :>))

  • mimi yoon replied

    sweetest david, i thank you always for your kindest words and encouragements… i don’t count anymore… my ocd was diagnosed merely by dr. mimi anyways… and whenever i counted, it was sort of like a game and i always found comfort in it… thank you again, david… :D

  • Outdoors2

    Outdoors2

    You have a mesmerizing way of feeding our heads with wonderful stories and reflections.
    When I was young and scared at night, I would switch my thoughts to Mickey Mouse and Goofy cartoons….;-)

  • mimi yoon replied

    ooo… if i’d done that, my monsters would have swallowed them without chewing… they even swallowed my sister a couple of times… not to mention my brother… ;P
    thank you roy~ :D

  • roybarry

    roybarry

    mimi- this is stunningly brilliant writing. I absolutely adore this piece of literary marvellousness.

  • mimi yoon replied

    thank you so much roy… i am so pleased to hear this from you… thank you thank you thank you!!! :D

  • Astoreth

    Astoreth

    I just love you my angel. To me you are beautiful and you always will be. xx

  • mimi yoon replied

    you are too… and always will be, jane…. thank you so so much… xxx

  • Barbara Glatzeder

    Barbara Glatzeder

    ... a friend of mine still does.

  • mimi yoon replied

    she’s lucky she’s figured out how to comfort herself… :D :D :D

  • jwinman

    jwinman

    absolutely mesmerizing…

  • mimi yoon replied

    thank you so so sooo0O much, jwinman !!!!! :D :D

  • Erika .

    Erika .

    oh mimi….i don’t know why, but tears came to my eyes when i read this. It’s crazy because this is the first that any sort of poem has moved me….I guess your poem truly captures what if feels like to have some OCD. I never understood how it must feel. Now i do. I guess i really felt this. This is really touching Mimi.

  • mimi yoon replied

    erika, i am so sorry i had you tear… if the condition is medically diagnosed and serious, i guess it would be hard to live with, but my ocd is just diagnosed by dr. mimi, and kinda fun and cute… more like a game…and i stopped counting altogether… although every incidents in the story is non-fiction (:P), counting wasn’t anything serious… was kinda soothing and meditating for me… just for the sake of this writing, i might’ve made it a bit more than what it used to be…

    i am so touched by your kind heartedness… you are so so very sweet, and i thank you so dearly, erika… xxx

  • EnlightenedOne

    EnlightenedOne

    Counting as an offset of the triggers as a means to calm the storm within.

    All we have in order to calm the angst within is counting Mimi, counting on oneself and ones maker.

    Limitless beauty is what you possess.

  • mimi yoon replied

    you always have the most beautiful and most wise words, steve…
    thank you so much… and once again, i am flattered… : )

  • KreddibleTrout

    KreddibleTrout

    Mimi, this is a powerful, moving and open piece. it hits on many levels.
    I don’t normally read stuff on redbubble but I’m glad I read this.
    thank you for sharing.

  • mimi yoon replied

    william, thank you very much… this means so much and i am humbled and grateful.. :D :D :D

  • colorblind

    colorblind

    onetothrefofivsisnineten…
    a wonderful read mimi…..
    you have a soul of wonders…..
    nice of you to share….

  • mimi yoon replied

    thank you so much for your wonderful words, cb… :D

  • Lisa  Heacock

    Lisa Heacock

    this , to me, is beautiful all the way around
    thank you for writing this and for sharing it !

  • mimi yoon replied

    thank you so dearly, lisa… i really do appreciate it… :D

  • Sam Dantone

    Sam Dantone

    ... and still counting.

    Sam Dantone

  • mimi yoon replied

    as long as it’s doing you good, sam… yes? :P
    thank you so much… always… : )

  • GreenWitch

    GreenWitch

    So wonderfully written!
    I counted only to check how far the storm is, lol! From the lightening to thunder if I should turn of TV or I can still watch it, lol! ;D

  • mimi yoon replied

    that’s one counting i usually neglected to do… :P
    thank you so much, reena~ :D

  • Spikerama

    Spikerama

    I counted in bed at night time, as high as I could and then run into my parents bedroom claiming I’d had a nightmare when really I just wanted to sleep with them.

    Beautifully structured Mimi and evocative.

    Love it.

  • mimi yoon replied

    you just made me laugh so much, i almost fell off my chair… ;D
    i could almost see you jumping into your parents’ bed…;D
    so cute~ ;P
    thank you, spike… :D

  • jenxie

    jenxie

    I didn’t count but instead made up a whole world in my head of characters that lived a life much like my fav shows on TV. Those characters are with me still, and they have grown up with me. The main character is now showing a little gray around the temples. (maybe we are all a little bit crazy!)

  • mimi yoon replied

    i used to do that too, dr. jenxie… and i used to always make myself the main character… we are all a bit crazy, may be… and may be that’s what makes this world a very colorful place to live and dream in… : )

  • Ingz

    Ingz

    I have my own world, not counting but other things I repeat, like you also only diagnosed by Dr Ingz…..Life is beautiful and so are you dear Mimi xxx I don’t think I have ever really grown up xxxx big hug xxx

  • mimi yoon replied

    oooo… what a beautiful thing to say, lngz… and don’t ever grow up… yes, life is beautiful, lngz, and you are too… thank you always~ xxxxx

  • bev langby

    bev langby

    I use to sing loud in my head and flick my mind all over the place anything to get away from what i didnt want to think about lol i still do it i suppose i always will…..........hope your face healed ok and do u still know Peter if so i bet he has lost his mojo hehe

  • mimi yoon replied

    haha.. bev… i saw his twin brother david the other day… still gorgeous and said peter looked just like him (duh), but i don’t feel like counting anymore… ;P and my face has healed fine… that was ages ago… i guess we all have our own way of coping with fear and unfortunate events… thank you bev~ :D

  • Kym Smitt

    Kym Smitt

    Awesome Mimi, I used to try to do that too, but never worked for me laying there in the cold darkness, as i began to see shadows and shapes looming over me. I think iused to get so angry that counting wouldnt work, and cursing those who told me it would that id fall asleep thinking about it. – I guess in the end counting does work

  • mimi yoon replied

    of course it works… or does it? ;P
    i don’t count anymore… i don’t know when i stopped, but i did…
    thank you for reading and for your comment, kym… :D

  • Julian Escardo

    Julian Escardo

    Congrats on the feature…sweet reading Mimi – !

  • mimi yoon replied

    thank you so much, julian… :D

  • Cassey

    Cassey

    My beautiful Mimi, I still count. I always have and I always will. It isn’t OCD, it is a means to escape as well as savor mloments. It has served me well. It has taken me to my beach when needed, and there I counted grains of sand and waves as they dissolved on the shore.

    You are an artist in every sense of the word and everything you create transports me to worlds of beauty. Thank you for sharing your gifts.

  • mimi yoon replied

    and your words make me close my eyes and dream again… you just the most beautiful way to compliment, cassidy… thank you so so much… your counting sounds very relaxing and dreamy…. thank you~ :D

  • Marilyns

    Marilyns

    i saw your writting and wanted to read it when im back from a trip , to take my time , but right now , i just read that your writting is featured on homepage ! i decided to come tonight and im really charmed by your words ! lovely and more than lovely :) congratulations mimi , for a very well deserved featured , now ,its time to count for me ;)

  • mimi yoon replied

    thank you very much, marilyn for such beautiful and encouraging compliment… you have no idea how much i appreciate you…. thank you thank yo thank you… xx

  • PJ Ryan

    PJ Ryan

    Congratulations on the home page feature ..

    this is gorgeous, love your style of writing because you explain it so well .. child like … and it takes me back to the little ways i would count too …

    thanx :)

  • mimi yoon replied

    pj… thank you so much… your words mean a great deal to me… have fun counting… makes you forget your problems… sometimes… thank you~ :D

  • Euan  Thorburn

    Euan Thorburn

    wonderful writing mimi
    xxxxxxx

  • mimi yoon replied

    thank you very much, euan… : )
    xxx

  • eon man

    eon man

    Great Concept.

  • mimi yoon replied

    thank you so very much, neo… i followed the white rabbit… or did i swallow the red pill? : )

  • Geoff  Coleman - Landscapes

    Geoff Coleman...

    No, the counting does still work – for me anyway. But I wish mine was even 1 per cent as poetic and magic as your counting. What a beautiful and compelling journey you are my friend. LOVED THIS.

  • mimi yoon replied

    you are the greatest geoff… thank you so so dearly….. :D :D :D

  • DanaMS

    DanaMS

    I am counting.. onetoninten.. I need to skip 10 years.. Can I? How can I be sure that I find my pot of gold on the end of that rainbow… Is it worth it? Or maybe I should live every second of life I was given to the fullest.. Feel the pain, feel the joy… and dream… dreaming is free..
    Super writing Mimi! Congrats again on the feature!

  • mimi yoon replied

    yes, yes, yes, dana… dreaming is free… and you want to feel all of the feelings… pain or joy, they are all beautiful… at least to me… i just went through a big painful and the scariest event and found so much joy and happiness at the end… thank you so much, dana… :D

  • ShadowDancer

    ShadowDancer

    ok ok, i don’t do the counting thing but i so relate because i type with my fingers when i’m not at a keyboard. you see, i type over 100 wpm… for some reason once i started typing my fingers never wanted to stop. i type with my fingers all day long, the words in my head, the words of a song, a conversation.. i drive myself crazy with it but it doesn’t go away so i’ve learned to accept it. most people probably think i’m just tapping my fingers.

    GREAT job writing about this, and C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S on your feature! Woohoo! You rock.

  • mimi yoon replied

    wow, pj~ you type fast…. so you must look like a crazy fast tapper to others… ;P… i used to do that too… except i used to type the alphabet in order over and over… and used to play piano… i stopped everything though… don’t remember when or how… : )
    thank you so much pj for sharing and for your sweet sweet compliment…. :D :D :D

  • joshuapie

    joshuapie

    that was just beautiful mimi lots of imagry for me
    and congrats on the feature
    i think im emotionally unstable at the moment, i am getting unusualy strong feelings from everything ive read this morning…
    awesome!
    peace n love

  • mimi yoon replied

    hi joshua… hope you’re feeling better today… thank you for reading and feeling my work… hope you still get strong feelings with my work in future when you’re very strong emotionally… thank you again and i truly hope that you’re feeling better… :D

  • Barco

    Barco

    The honesty of the story told with emotion in a gush, like the counting, makes for an entertaining read ….thank you….....and congratulations mimi.

  • mimi yoon replied

    thank you so so so very much, barco… i am very glad you enjoyed reading this…. :D

  • Gregory John O'Flaherty

    Gregory John O...

    I like this one !!! I count in prime numbers, you get there faster !!

  • mimi yoon replied

    that’s only 4 numbers from 1 to 10… cheater…. :P
    thank you gregory… : )
    always~

  • Sally Omar

    Sally Omar

    Brilliant…absolutely brilliant!!!!!!!!! xoxooxxoox

  • mimi yoon replied

    thank you so so much for kind words, sally… xoxoxo

  • Lisa  Jewell

    Lisa Jewell

    Incredible writing…..you writer YOU….

    I’d like to count all the ways you impress me but the number in infinite….xxxxx

  • mimi yoon replied

    stop it silly lisa…. you know, your compliments mean so so much to me… you are one of my favorite writers and so~ look up to you… thank you beautiful… xxxxxx

  • Erin Irwin

    Erin Irwin

    This is one of the most beautiful pieces of writing I have ever read.

  • mimi yoon replied

    thank you so much, erin… i sincerely appreciate your compliment… : )

  • John Shortt-Smith

    John Shortt-Smith

    Been there, done that… hmmm, had forgotten about that – until I read your poem. Good stuff, great writing Mimi

  • mimi yoon replied

    thank you so much, john… : )

  • rubyjo

    rubyjo

    I don’t count but I write with my thumb. I know it sounds crazy but it just moves and I realize I am spelling words, like on an etchasketch. It is usually in cursive. People ask me what I am doing because it is noticable. Do you think if we went to a technical/ mechanical sort of website we would find people like us, or is it just us artistic types that have odd tics?
    Congrats on the feature- you rock you know :)

  • mimi yoon replied

    if you find a site that has more people like us, please don’t forget to let me know… ;P… i never tried the writing, but i used to play piano and type a-z over and over… ;P… oh boy~ but i stopped… i just day dream…
    thank you so very much, rubyjo…. : ) i am so dying to find out who you are… ;P

  • linaji

    linaji

    Wow Mimi.. you are amazing!! I read this several times and smiled and thought isn’t it just like this. moment upon moment upon moment all connected really .. with numbers or with sighs.. or with a good cry. Congrats on your feature too!

  • mimi yoon replied

    hi linaji… thank you so much for the smile and your wonderful thoughts… this is how life goes… like you said, moments all connected one after another… i really appreciate your generous words, really… thank you~ : )

  • angelhaart

    angelhaart

    Wow Mimi…Such Visuals…Thanks for drawing us into YOUR experiences…what beautiful writing! When I graduate in progression…I HOPE TO BE LIKE YOU! PEACE AND BLESSINGS!

  • mimi yoon replied

    angel… oh my gosh… i’m not even a writer, and i am sure you are already so much better than me… your words mean so much to me, angel… thank you thank you thank you… :D

  • Gonzeli

    Gonzeli

    The structure of the piece is superb, the sound of ‘onetothrefofivsisnineten’ and it’s repetition will leave your readers with something; surely that is something that would define a “great”. I know that if ever i hear someone count in a way similar to this, my thoughts will incline this way. For now at least, my thoughts go out to you.

  • mimi yoon replied

    gonzeli, thank you so much for this constructive comment…. thank you so very much… and as per counting, i don’t count anymore… and when i used to count, it was sort of a game and an escape for me… thank you… :D

  • plastikstar

    plastikstar

    i count too! i used to think monsters would reach out from under my bed and snatch me away to monsterland…and when I looked into the mirror I was afraid of ghosts appearing behind me, not to mention the evil shadow hiding behind the shower curtains. And boys. I counted as quick as I could or I counted tiles on the floor or on the ceiling or the rice on my plate etc.
    I like the structure and style of this poem :)

  • mimi yoon replied

    wow~ rice grain on your plate… ;P
    i used to count tiles too… and if i step on a crack with left foot i had to step on a crack with my right too… ;P
    thank you so much, plastikstar… :D

  • Pilgrim

    Pilgrimworks here

    Wonderful, I am carried tenderly on a journey that resonates in my soul.

  • mimi yoon replied

    thank you very kindly, pilgrim… your comment is very heartwarming… i truly appreciate it.. :D :D :D

  • lazydaze

    lazydaze

    brilliant work Mimi..ur a legend!! :))

  • mimi yoon replied

    thank you so much for your kind words, ld…. :D

  • Novice

    Novice

    I don’t count now…I just breathe a lot more…silently inside..try it ..it helps

  • mimi yoon replied

    i don’t count anymore either… i think your technique will make me hyperventilate… i’ve done that once when i totaled my brand new mustang at 17 in a head on collision and saw my friend in passenger seat unconscious with blood all over her head, face, and body… yep, i remember breathing a lot more and faster than usual and everything became white… woke up in an emergency room thinking my parents are going to kill me…. :P… thanks for the suggestion though, novice… :D :D :D

  • Novice

    Novice

    haha mimi…no it is not heavy breathing..just a calm happy breathing…make you calm down..your stories are so funny..haha

  • mimi yoon replied

    glad i made you laugh, novice… hope you keep your smile for the rest of the day… your haha’s making me smile… thank you~
    and ok… calm happy breathing, yes, i am all for it… breathe… breathe… breathe… (sounds like a lamaze class)... hehe… breathe… : )

    thank you…

  • Jared Revell

    Jared Revell

    this is such a wonderful piece of writing mimi, you always surprise me with your work and talents.
    I know it must have been hard to bing those feelings out, glad you did, this piece is priceless and I think so many can relate.

  • mimi yoon replied

    thank you so much, jared, for a huge compliment…. you are always so sweet… and hope all is well….. :D :D :D

  • littlestmonkey

    littlestmonkey

    Wow…so many ppl who count…..I only count when I’m really really, stressed, and then I realise that I’m getting close to the edge and start to pull back on things I’m overly doing.
    Or, I’ll recite the names of the days of the week….
    Loved this piece…...beautifully written….who woulda thought to write about it:)

  • mimi yoon replied

    i also used to play piano with my fingers or type a-z repeatedly… ;P
    thank you littlest monkey… this wasn’t supposed to be about counting… rather about how she cannot get the memories of him out of her head… : )

  • Mikyle

    Mikyle

    Fascinating poem. I was enthralled.

  • mimi yoon replied

    thank you very much, mikyle… : )

  • Ushna Sardar

    Ushna Sardar

    awesome piece of writing mimi!

  • mimi yoon replied

    .

    wow~
    ushna and simon… thank you very much… i am really honored… :D

  • linaji

    linaji

    YOU KNOW I LOVE IT!

  • mimi yoon replied

    .

    thank you so much for the honor, linaji…
    i really really appreciate it… :D

    .

  • Earthmonster

    Earthmonster

    Featured on the writing page Mimi!

  • mimi yoon replied

    yes, mark… thank you so much… :D :D :D

  • Samuel Vega

    Samuel Vega

    Loved this story… reminded me of my monsters under the bed… burning down my grandmother’s kitchen… the first girl I fell in love with who was in love with my best friend… all those experiences where counting would have helped.

  • mimi yoon replied

    :D
    thank you so much, samuel…
    yes, you should have counted when you were afraid of the monsters under your bed… you burnt your grandma’s kitchen down??? that’s worse than me blowing my mom’s oven… at least you didn’t burn your face, right… ;P… sorry to hear about your first love who loved your best friend… yes, you should have counted… it would have helped… i think~ ;P

    thanks again, samuel… :D

  • Shoaib .
  • mimi yoon replied

    .

    THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH, SHOAIB !!!!! YOU ROCK!!!!!

    .

  • Monkee

    Monkee

    so gentle!

  • mimi yoon replied

    thank you, monkee…. so very much~ :D :D :D

  • John Moore

    John Moore

    Maybe counting always worked but you never knew it

  • mimi yoon replied

    maybe… maybe not… i think it worked… i have no idea…. but i know for fact that it does not work anymore… what works is redbubbling… and shoes shopping, definitely… ;D

    thank you john~ :D

  • ArcadiaTempest

    ArcadiaTempest

    WOW…....this is something else! The pace changes…....keeps you tightly involved as you read….and love your descriptions of time and events….... pure brilliance!!

  • mimi yoon replied

    wow~ arcadia…. thank you so much… that’s exactly what i intended to do… describe a few events from the earlier days of my life up to the present that i remember needed the counting the most… explaining why i used to count and how i used to believe that it worked… and long after stop counting, how a recent incident made me try counting again to ease the pain… but unfortunately, the readers really caught on with the counting part only… i must not have done all that great job writing after all…

    but thank you again, arcadia…. love your comment… :D :D :D

  • jinrose

    jinrose

    I like this. I’m a real fan of short and sweet stories, but you fit so much rich history of the character in here that I can’t help but be impressed. Good job!

  • mimi yoon replied

    jin… thank you very much… agin, as i just replied to arcadia right above you, i tried to create a short timeline from the earlier part of the character’s life (me, in this story) to the present time… how the counting used to help and how i tried to use it again to ease a pain…
    but seemed most of the readers just really enjoyed the ocd part of the story…. i appreciate you for seeing the whole picture… thank you… :D

  • tracyxkeema

    tracyxkeema

    mimi you’re incredibly talented, it’s a pleasure to read your work, this piece is exceptional x

  • Orangeshoes

    Orangeshoes

    Mimi, what an amazing piece of writing, so electric. I could almost hear you skipping through the numbers with urgency.

  • moriahsmiles

    moriahsmiles

    Oh wow, this is interesting.

    I’m new to RB, just getting started, and I’d appreciate some input on things I put up?
    I only have one right now, but when I can remember my flash drive, there will be much more.

    I love your style of writing and the sense of nostalgia it conveys (:

  • Holly Ringland

    Holly Ringland

    so. how on earth have i missed this mimi? monsters and darkness and daydreams… and how the devices we use to breathe through moments… years… decades… slowly rot and decay… with time… with change… just like seasons… which feature in your work so often too. cycles… time… beginnings… endings… mimi, it is such a pleasure and priviledge to have this doorway into your creativity. every time i wander through, there is a shiver that definitively runs up and down my spine because i know that inside your room, your place where your words and art collide, i will always find something to love. this is beautiful.

  • Martin Sanchez

    Martin Sanchez

    nice XD

  • roger  boreham

    roger boreham

    nOW THIS WAS QUALITY WRITING ABOUT A SSSSUBJECT CLOSE TO YOUR ART….

    CONGRATS ENTHRALLING STUFF,......

  • MrHill

    MrHill

    Mimi, this is a brilliant piece of writing… I can see you as a little girl running through 1-10 that the numbers became one word….this is a wonderful piece…..you are a writer…. )(

  • Larasolnishko

    Larasolnishko

    I am taking you back in time…Seating next to you on your bed and reading you beautiful stories, make you quickly fall asleep…Peace and happiness for you, my dear Mimi!

  • RenataOz

    RenataOz

    great work. well done. xxxx

  • Alan Dean

    Alan Dean

    wow – just found this on the all-time most popular list …. no wonder. nice work M

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