By Miles A Moody
(Continued from Healing Wound ) We just keep passing along the patterns of behavior we learned as children, proving time and again to ourselves the validity of the reality we see life through. Some of us come to a turning point; we allow it; we can feel what lies at this road’s end; it’s a predictable road in that way and we’re travel weary, sensing an alternative path, and ready to choose it. It’s completely different in that we find nothing familiar along the way, nothing to cling to and a falling away of the beliefs that we believe supported us before. This is new indeed; it is the avenue of the opening heart.
What is it to look up to someone for solace, for support, dependent upon them to show you the way? Who is to blame when that trust is betrayed, that innocence lost? I realized I was asking the wrong question. Where in lays the power to heal the wounding that I carry? What is the nature of that hurting deep inside me that I glimpse only occasionally as in instances such as this? Human dignity violated, core essence seemingly lost behind walls of rationalization, it doesn’t truly seem to matter whether I perpetrated an offense on another or was the recipient of that offense. Who I believe I am as a result is something less than I can be, regardless. I offer up forgiveness. I open and receive the forgiveness offered.
I am discovering a refuge found deep within the heart; a space where we can go to find the capacity that we feel we lack, a restoring benevolence at the core of self that is accepting just as we are, that brings in the necessary inner condition for opening to and receiving that which enables the miracle of letting go. It is a space within that has safe-guarded the truth until such time as we each can bear to face the wonder of ourselves once again. The winter storms that rage around us also rage within. There is an inner refuge from that storm. It is the only space we will be truly safe. “Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened to you.”
©2010 Miles A Moody All Rights Reserved. Please kindly refrain from duplicating in whole or in part this writing and/or photographic work without my written permission.
Nikon D90, 20mm (Nikkor AFS 1.4D 20 mm), 1/2500 sec, F/22, handheld, 3 textures applied in PS CS5 after processing in camera raw. An old storage shed found on the grounds of the closed and abandoned section of Stonewall Jackson Training School, Concord, NC, USA